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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25726273">Each Time They Fell In Love, Not Knowing It's Worth</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellamoon/pseuds/bellamoon'>bellamoon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, Childhood Friends, Coming of Age, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Language, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Pining, yangdery and doten if you squint</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:41:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>43,694</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25726273</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellamoon/pseuds/bellamoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Donghyuck and Jaemin experience adulthood and urban life after leaving their home. It wasn't that easy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Each Time They Fell In Love, Not Knowing It's Worth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Twenty-six years ago, Donghyuck was only an eight-year old boy who didn’t know anything about the world. He had a mind of the young, always clueless and optimistic that he didn't understand what happened to his parents back then.</p><p>He was five when his mother cried at their back balcony, the supposed head of their family's leave being the reason. Donghyuck shrugged it off thinking his father would return someday, hopeful, even if it took them a decade to wait. What he didn't know, as he hadn't witnessed that day, was his parents getting into a big fight.</p><p>Donghyuck was still five when his mother talked to him over breakfast.</p><p>"Duckie?"</p><p>"Mama!"</p><p>"Oh 'Duckie," his mother embraced him like he was some deity worthy of praises as if in return would overturn her life from misery. "You're growing up too fast."</p><p>"Mama?"</p><p>"Did you get that? Well, I know you didn’t. And that's fine. I'll still love you no matter what."</p><p>"Mama."</p><p>"Duckie, precious, I know you won't understand me, but remember this, okay? Whenever you're fighting with someone, it's not you versus that person. It's both of you versus the problem."</p><p>Five-year old Donghyuck nodded with a big, crooked smile on his face. His eyes were glowing in adoration, though too naive to know anything about what she said.</p><p>"I will always love you, precious."</p><p>When that night came, his mother began to sleep for an eternity. Donghyuck had no idea, of course. He thought she would wake up the next morning, or the morning after that, or maybe even the last morning of the month. She never did. He didn't know what it meant for her to never leave her bed, never change her sleeping position, and never open her eyes.</p><p>He didn't understand, but then again, he was just a bright child who brought his buoyancy everywhere he went. When the neighbors freaked out after discovering her corpse and called the police despite their village being isolated, Donghyuck could pick up some of their exchanged words such as 'overdosed' and 'stress'. He believed his mother was only resting because she was tired of raising him and dealing with all the house chores and farm work. And when he was dragged by a neighbor to the funeral, to where many of his mother’s friends and of their neighbors showed up and wept for her death, Donghyuck was the only one not weeping.</p><p>He thought they placed his mother on a box to have her body framed as one of the most notable humans to ever walk on Earth. He thought it was about time his mother got the promotional exposure she deserved to have. The reverence he had for her reached to that extent.</p><p>When he was six, an elderly neighbor invited him to her house and taught him what it meant to be dead and what it meant for his mother to be gone. Donghyuck didn't comprehend anything she tried to tell, which was unsurprising.</p><p>From that moment onwards, Donghyuck learned to be independent at a juvenile age despite how sloppy he was every day. He took a bath thrice a week or whenever he felt like it, so it was normal for the townspeople to see him dressed in his ripped pullovers with mud stains and his uncombed hair sticking out all over the place. He wasn't afraid of any monster under his bed or hiding inside his closet. He learned to sleep alone without getting tucked to bed by someone every night unlike other children. He made himself a toasted bread every morning for breakfast even though the first time he did it, he almost burned the living room down (yes, he was cooking in the living room). His mother had a few books placed on her bookshelf, but Donghyuck took no interest in linguistics and went on with errands around the village thus left those books untouched. Sometimes he'd be willing to help out the neighbors and they'd welcome him inside their houses because no one wanted them to feel lonely.</p><p>Their area was remote. Donghyuck liked it that way. He knew everyone in his town and memorized the map in one hour. The neighborhood was placid, untroubled, and free of hostility. Everyone was friendly. They lacked the technology, but that was what made their lives imperturbable.</p><p>And again, twenty-six years ago, Donghyuck was only an eight-year old boy. One blithe and sunny afternoon, he woke up as caused by staying up all night helping out a carpenter build a cabin in the forest. He got back home around midnight, optimistic about fixing his sleep routine soon and get back to it.</p><p>That same afternoon, he went out to go to the poultry house and catch a chicken for his lunch (he can ask his neighbor to slaughter and fry it for him). It was going to be his first time catching a chicken by himself, for it had always been the ranchers who caught them, shackled them, and gave them to Donghyuck whenever he asked.</p><p>On his way there, a man in his late 20s was giving a horse a bath at the barnyard. Donghyuck happened to meet eyes with him. As all neighbors did, the man waved his hat as a salute to young Donghyuck with a gentle smile. Donghyuck had never met him before.</p><p>"Hey boy, what's your name?"</p><p>"I-I don't know," Donghyuck stuttered. "Lee Donghyuck or 'Hyuck, that's what they call me. My mother calls me Duckie."</p><p>"You don't read books?"</p><p>"I don't."</p><p>"Tough luck," said the man. "I'm a farmer, but I also take jobs around the barn. The name's Nakamoto Yuta."</p><p>Donghyuck's mouth opened in an 'o' shape. He seemed amazed. "Yuta... Hyung."</p><p>"Looks like they taught you how to call your elders," this time, Yuta let out a chuckle. "Where were you going?"</p><p>"To the cuckoos!"</p><p>"You're going to the chicken coop? How old are you?"</p><p>Donghyuck held eight fingers up. "I’m eight!"</p><p>"Oooh, you're young. You shouldn't be going to the poultry at such a young age. Is your mom okay with that?”</p><p>“The neighbors said she died. I don’t know what that means.”</p><p>“Oh... I’m sorry. You can come and have lunch with us if that’s okay with you. We're having pork today. Jaemin's soaking the meat now, I'm sure he'll have it cooked in no time."</p><p>"Jaemin?"</p><p>"Yep, he's my son. He's the same age as you so you might get along with him."</p><p>Donghyuck didn't need to ask why a boy of the same age as him can cook. Truth be told, Donghyuck felt a spark of jealousy in him. This Jaemin guy must be adept in the kitchen.</p><p>"So? You coming or not?"</p><p>Donghyuck didn't need a moment to think. He clutched on the pockets of his pullovers and glanced at the sun above.</p><p>"Coming!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yuta led him to his small cottage. At first sight, Donghyuck can already tell his own cottage is much smaller than theirs. Not like he was envious of that. He'd always be grateful.</p><p>He pranced to the kitchen with hesitant steps as Yuta locked the door, taking off his worn-out boots that probably haven't been washed off in months. The first thing Donghyuck saw next to the sink was a little boy frying something on a pan, standing still on a wooden stool. He was wearing a lime green apron with cartoon characters on it. Donghyuck didn’t know where he got that, and he wouldn't ask. He was taught not to be a blabbermouth to people he just met.</p><p>Perhaps Donghyuck found another person to look up to. He couldn't cook because he was afraid of turning on the stove, and the boy in front of him had zero fear.</p><p>The little boy had almost the same height as him. Donghyuck was a little bit shorter, maybe, by two centimeters. He heard Yuta's footsteps approach him from behind as he felt his hand massage his shoulder.</p><p>"Don't be afraid. Jaemin doesn't bite."</p><p>In a low voice, Donghyuck turned to Yuta. "Is he old?"</p><p>"You mean how old is he? Well, he just turned eight."</p><p>"When?"</p><p>"A month ago," Yuta said, sounding proud. "It was his birthday a month ago."</p><p>Jaemin turned off the stove and turned around. With a wide grin, he tiptoed to Yuta, giving him a tight hug. The latter returned the gesture and kissed his son on the forehead. "Oh baby, you're doing so great! Your mother is so proud of you."</p><p>Jaemin's smile widened. That was until he pulled away and turned to Donghyuck, disconcerted. "Who are you?"</p><p>"His name is Donghyuck," Yuta answered for him. "The little kid around the corner. I guess I can say I got you a new friend, Nana."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>Donghyuck took the time to piece the puzzle together. Yuta had told him he and his wife didn’t marry, so Jaemin took his mother’s surname. Over lunch, he noticed it was a tradition for the family not to talk during the entire eating session. They also pray before and after eating meals. And before they'd clean up their platters and get up from their seats, they'd talk about good and bad news with leftovers on the table.</p><p>Turned out Donghyuck was around two months older than Jaemin. If Donghyuck lost his mother to overdosed medications, then Jaemin lost his mother to a murderer in the woods. Yuta, now a single parent raising Jaemin, settled a warning for his son to never go out too much and go overboard, and that was how Donghyuck figured why Jaemin was more skilled in house chores than works in the open environment.</p><p>Following that day, it became Donghyuck's habit to visit the Na household. Sometimes he would go to the poultry house no more and instead rely on the Na's meat supply and help them with the farm work. His neighbors started to wonder why they no longer saw him passing by their houses anymore, but he assured them he was in safe hands and met a new family.</p><p>He got along with Jaemin. As young and small children they were, they shared one bed which belonged to Jaemin, accidentally swapped toothbrushes, showered together, and wore each other's shirts. Yuta couldn’t express his delight enough to let them know that their friendship was one of the miracles that had ever occurred in his life.</p><p>"Jaemin has never befriended anyone despite how good he is with socializing. He's mediocre in this, and you're his first friend, that's why I'm so happy you exist, 'Hyuckie."</p><p>So Donghyuck made a move.</p><p>Donghyuck felt like he has explored Jaemin's domestic life enough, so now he wanted Jaemin to explore his not-so-domestic life in return. The goal was for the two of them to know each other. Donghyuck was an outdoorsman, except he couldn't leave the town.He was fine with that. His loyalty always remained in this village he grew up in.</p><p>Donghyuck taught Jaemin how to build fences, transfer hay (the problem was Jaemin ‘s allergy, which resulted to him sneezing several times and Donghyuck didn't know what to do), and ride horses. Jaemin fell on his first ride on a horse and almost broke his femur, but Donghyuck couldn't help but laugh at the way he tumbled to the ground. His laugh was genuine, concealed due to the lack of comical events in his everyday life until now.</p><p>And to Jaemin, his laugh sounded like a melody he wished to wake up to every day.</p><p>One night after they have eaten, Yuta spoke to Donghyuck.</p><p>"You told me you don’t read, right?"</p><p>Donghyuck nodded. "I can't spell nor write too."</p><p>"Really?" Jaemin tilted his head. "I can teach you."</p><p>Donghyuck never felt so cherished.</p><p>Jaemin was the best ever friend he had met. Everyday before they left to harvest, they made it a routine to sit on the Na's creaky porch where Jaemin would hand out blank papers for Donghyuck to write on. Every day, Donghyuck strived to learn something with the pencil on his hand and his hair disheveled in hay. Jaemin would be lying if said he wasn't astonished by the perseverance Donghyuck had.</p><p>Then, every night, they made it part of their routine for Jaemin to read bedtime stories to Donghyuck as they shared laughter and tears depending on the plot of the chosen children's story. It brought them all sorts of emotions. Donghyuck thought it was magical.</p><p>"So did Jack get eaten by the beanstalk?"</p><p>"It's weird if you think that way, 'Hyuckie."</p><p>"What about Hansel and Gretel? Weren’t they eaten by the witch? Or... Maybe I ate them!"</p><p>"You twist stories your own way."</p><p>Yuta would tuck them to bed after Jaemin would flip the last page and read the last sentence. If not, then that meant Donghyuck desperately pleaded him for one more story and Jaemin could only sigh.</p><p>He could never say no to someone like Donghyuck.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nineteen years ago, they were just two children on their way to fetch a bucket of water from the well on their own while Yuta went to one of the neighbors' farms to harvest fruits and vegetables in time before the storm. Neither of them would've thought of meeting someone much younger than them.</p><p>It was around eight in the morning. The chilly breeze brewing within the vicinity had the grasses dancing northwards. Donghyuck's frilly shirt was in sync with the wind and so was Jaemin's apron, which he had forgotten to take off after cooking breakfast for they were in a hurry, having found out it was expected to rain sooner than expected.</p><p>"If the elders said a storm is coming, then does that mean we're going to stay inside the house a lot?"</p><p>"You should say 'more often' than 'a lot'," Jaemin corrected. "And yes, we'll stay inside more often, that's why dad is stocking up now."</p><p>"Aw man, I wanted to fly some kites today!" Donghyuck pouted. "Now I can't."</p><p>"You'll have to wait some other time. It's going to be very muddy outside after the storm."</p><p>"But we stayed up all night sewing kites! From scratch! Just for today!"</p><p>"You stayed up all night on yours, I helped you for an hour and went to bed as soon as I finished mine."</p><p>"Whatever!"</p><p>They soon reached the top of the hill, the well visible from where they were standing. They halted their tracks upon seeing a tiny child leaning by the well, tiny as in the type that would fall to the bottom of the well right away.</p><p>Donghyuck squinted. "Who is that?"</p><p>"I don't know? I can't see their face."</p><p>"Neither can I."</p><p>"I don't think I've seen them around though– Oh no."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Look."</p><p>Before Donghyuck could process what the kid was doing, Jaemin had already bolted towards the well, slamming the empty bucket to Donghyuck's chest for him to hold.</p><p>The kid was trying to reach for something inside the well and was an inch away from falling. It seemed like they didn't know how dangerous it was, so Donghyuck ran after Jaemin to save the kid.</p><p>"What are you doing? Do you know how dangerous it is to fall in there?" Jaemin chided, pulling the child off the well and backward by hoisting him up on the waist. "Why were you sticking to the well like glue anyway?"</p><p>"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! My mama is sick and she can't go outside, so I'm the only one who can go here for her!"</p><p>"What?" Donghyuck widened his eyes. "Did your mom tell you to fetch water all the way up to here?"</p><p>Jaemin seemed to also be taken aback by the child's response. Who in their right mind would tell their scrawny kid to fetch water from the well when they're only five inches taller than a pail?</p><p>"No," answered the child. "I wanted to do it so I can bring her water, but I dropped the pail and it fell."</p><p>"You're not lying," Donghyuck peeked inside despite it being dark deep down. "I can see a pail floating."</p><p>"Jeez, you could've gotten some from the lake on the other side of the town!" Jaemin scolded. "Walking on a plain land is always better than having to climb up a hill for a small kid like you."</p><p>"Yeah," Donghyuck said. "You wouldn't want to end up like Jack and Jill."</p><p>"Who is Jack and Jill?"</p><p>"That doesn't matter," Jaemin interjected. "As I said, you should've gone to the lake. I believe climbing up this hill is tough work for you."</p><p>"But I don't know where the lake is."</p><p>"You should've asked the neighbors. They're nice, they wouldn't mind."</p><p>"But I'm afraid of them."</p><p>"Why would you be? They won't hurt you," Jaemin stood by the well, inspecting the underground water fifteen meters below them. "So you said you dropped your pail? Donghyuck and I will bring it back up but under one condition. We'll carry your pail home. You can't carry heavy things with a body like that."</p><p>By the child’s nod, Donghyuck grabbed the rope as the wooden pail attached to the roof descended, the handle swiveled by Jaemin.</p><p>“What’s your name?”</p><p>“Park Jisung.”</p><p>“Pretty name.”</p><p>Donghyuck raised his eyebrows and whipped his head to Jisung. "Wait, didn't you say your mom is sick?"</p><p>Jisung reluctantly nodded.</p><p>"Oh no, but a storm is coming," Donghyuck turned to Jaemin. "No one at home would look after her but Jisung. What if we tell Yuta hyung we're having a sleepover at Jisung's house?"</p><p>Jaemin gave the younger a glare.</p><p>"Let's get back to work, Donghyuck."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sixteen years ago, Yuta threw a small birthday party for Donghyuck and Jaemin. It was composed of a poorly baked cake, two candles, and the three of them celebrating. And that was enough.</p><p>The teens have spent most of their lives in the village, living off literary works they can find in the corners of their houses, and they'd do strenuous works such as fetching water from the well, and Donghyuck would constantly ask what would happen if they became Jack and Jill. For eighteen years, they accepted their daily lives. For eighteen years, they worked together as a small family.</p><p>"Kids, it's time to wake up." Yuta waltzed into their bedroom (which was Jaemin's in the first place) with a spatula on hand. He rubbed their heads and spanked them. "Wake up. Birthday boys, wake up!"</p><p>Donghyuck shot up from his seat, eyes droopy and tired. "It's my birthday again? For the second time this year?"</p><p>"It's the thirteenth of August, 'Hyuckie, so it's Jaeminnie's birthday. But yes, we're celebrating your birthday again since you're practically the same age."</p><p>"I don't want to get up!" A bratty whine came from under the blankets. It was no other than Jaemin's.</p><p>"Kids," Yuta called yet again. "You're not kids anymore."</p><p>"Then what are we now? Are we going to turn into some mythical creatures in Jaemin's books?"</p><p>Yuta shook his head. "No, you'll remain human. But you're an adult now. It's a stage of life where you become responsible for your own life, be independent, and take care of yourself."</p><p>"We're not kids anymore," Jaemin's voice was strained. He hooked his arm onto Donghyuck's. "That'll suck."</p><p>Yuta beamed.</p><p>"You'll always be my kids, okay? You'll always be kids in my heart."</p><p>By the time breakfast was served, none of them talked as always. Donghyuck couldn't stand the silence. He finished his meal faster than the other two. He didn't say anything, knowing that would be disrespectful. He didn't want to be scolded by Yuta for the hundredth time. The first time he got scolded for accidentally letting a flock of sheep loose from the neighboring farm, Yuta didn't let Donghyuck see Jaemin for five days.</p><p>The father and his son were done with their platters quicker than Donghyuck thought. Yuta spoke.</p><p>"Since you're both adults now, where do you want to go?"</p><p>"I want to see how the world is like out there," Donghyuck said. "The places shown in pictures. I want to see how they're like in reality."</p><p>"Uh, I would like to stay here for the rest of my life. The world is a scary place," Jaemin admitted. "But if Donghyuck insists, then I'll go with him."</p><p>Yuta smirked.</p><p>"Then it's time for you to go explore the world. But before that, you'll go to the city first as a kickstarter and get used to their livelihood, which is much more different than ours."</p><p>"When do we leave?"</p><p>"Tomorrow."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The day after Jaemin's birthday, Yuta was there to carry their suitcases and bid farewell to them as they boarded the train. Jaemin fell asleep during the ride. Donghyuck didn't, so he zipped his bag open and whipped out papers in which Yuta wrote detailed instructions for them. They come along with a map where Yuta has circled places they're supposed to go to, such as the prestigious high school they'll enroll at and the cheap rundown apartment where they would be living together. Yuta also wrote down how they should manage their budget, stating that an envelope he placed inside Jaemin's bag contained a wad of cash, one of his bank cards, and documents of transfer from their cram school located near the hill.</p><p>Jaemin handled nearly everything for their livelihood. He bought groceries, calculated their budget, and talked to their landlord about the rent. At first, Donghyuck and Jaemin never thought of looking for part-time jobs to pay for it. After all, Yuta promised to send them money every week for their necessities.</p><p>The first day of school had Donghyuck sweating bullets, however, remained calm on the outside and possessed a positive aura around his classmates. He smiled a lot. He was like an angel with no halo and wings as what the people in his classroom depicted him to be, including their homeroom teacher.</p><p>Donghyuck turned out to be in a class section different from Jaemin's. As much as he felt devastated, this was his chance to get used to being on his own and stop mooching off his only friend. This was his chance to learn how to become independent, the way Yuta would be proud of (and his mom too, for that matter).</p><p>School life was challenging at first, but Donghyuck took his time to fit in and adjust. During his first few weeks into the academic year, he was made fun of his ludicrous accent that originated from the dialect he spoke in his village. It was only then when he discovered that such language division in the country existed, in the world no less. Jaemin did help him at times though. Moreover, his teachers and classmates, boys and girls alike, seemed to grow fond of him.</p><p>He had a lot of difficulties too. An example was one time when he came home crying after he embarrassed himself in front of his crush Mark Lee because he didn't know how to use vending machines. Yes, he found Mark attractive, then again who wouldn't have a crush on him? He was the school's ace, a multi-talented person who was extremely gifted with skills, and there was nothing he could do except cook eggs.</p><p>In the fourth month of Donghyuck's freshman year, he didn't see his mental instability coming. His crush on Mark got out of hand. It began when he decided to follow Mark to the gym in secret to watch him play basketball. It didn't turn out great.</p><p>Donghyuck was suspicious of how there was not a single living soul inside the gym. The lights were off. Mark came there and apparently, what happened next bored a hole into Donghyuck's chest.</p><p>Mark came there to meet someone. Donghyuck wasn't able to foresee that someone being Huang Renjun, a boy from Jaemin's calculus class. Through the recently cleaned windows, Donghyuck could see Mark pin Renjun against the wall and had their lips smash against each other. He didn't want to know what happened next.</p><p>Donghyuck ran away to the voidness of the night. The city was still vigorous with all the night markets open and people on their daily rush, yet Donghyuck couldn’t help but feel immobilized. He went to sleep on an empty stomach, starved, all after he finished taking a gloomy walk outside their block.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Why do you seem sullen?"</p><p>Donghyuck didn't answer.</p><p>"Did something happen yesterday?"</p><p>Still no response. Jaemin huffed and placed his book on the bedside table. He pulled the blankets up to Donghyuck's shoulders, ruffling his hair.</p><p>"Something must've happened. Wanna talk about it?"</p><p>Jaemin waited until Donghyuck gathered the courage to open his mouth.</p><p>"Am I a coward?"</p><p>At that, Jaemin squinted. "What?"</p><p>"Am I a coward, Jaemin?"</p><p>"N-No. Why do you ask that?"</p><p>"Nothing."</p><p>To Jaemin, Donghyuck's 'nothing' meant something. He had known him for practically his whole life. Donghyuck had never been this upset before.</p><p>"How do you feel right now?"</p><p>"Empty."</p><p>That word had Jaemin frowning.</p><p>"Does your heart feel–"</p><p>"Shattered."</p><p>"Oh," the younger gaped. "Are you... Heartbroken?"</p><p>Donghyuck returned to his silent state. He shut his eyes tight. Jaemin was starting to get worried.</p><p>Donghyuck began to shed tears. It made Jaemin hop onto their bed and cradle his head on the crook of his neck. Bringing Donghyuck closer, Jaemin rubbed his disheveled hair for comfort. Donghyuck crying was the most unpleasant thing he had ever seen.</p><p>"Hey, 'Hyuck? 'Hyuckie?" He caressed his cheeks that had turned a shade of red and sticky from the salty tears. "Let's skip classes today, okay?"</p><p>As much as Donghyuck wanted to ask Jaemin why he was willing to stay with him, he couldn't bear himself to speak, as if his vocal cords had lost their strength.</p><p>“Can I ask who did this to you?"</p><p>“Mark Lee.”</p><p>At the mention of that name, by his own bitter-dipped tongue, Donghyuck’s world crashed down. His story was cockeyed. And through everything, Jaemin was there beside him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Fresh, vivid colors were restored to Donghyuck's life after three days of recovery. Jaemin was so concerned he refused to attend any of his classes, even if he had to put up with getting frantic spams of texts from Jeno (Jeno’s mother’s gift to him, fashioned from her extravagant wealth).</p><p>On a blithesome Thursday morning, they decided it was best now that they show up and come early to catch up to their school works. They were at the bus stop when Jaemin spoke.</p><p>"You could've left me earlier. Why did you have to wait for me to wake up? For three hours? Really?"</p><p>"I need you to be with me on the bus."</p><p>"And why's that?"</p><p>"The last time I rode a bus, people laughed at me because I didn't have a T-card. I got kicked out by the driver himself."</p><p>Jaemin snorted. Now he knew why Donghyuck took unhurried walks to and from school instead.</p><p>"Don't laugh."</p><p>Jaemin did otherwise. Donghyuck was about to land a square punch on his face when the bus came, and in a hurry, Jaemin grabbed him by the wrist as they entered the bus together. In a soft voice, Jaemin elaborated about the bus rules.</p><p>"You need a transport card. I don't know about cash, but yeah, this is what I use. I gave you one on our first moving day, I hope you didn't lose that," Jaemin said after tapping his card. "Just tap your card against the reader and hold it there until you hear it beep. Don’t forget to check the amount paid and your remaining balance on the reader. When getting off the bus, always tap your card whether you intend to transfer or not. If you forget to tap off, you may have to pay a higher fare and on some services, a minor infringement is charged to the card."</p><p>"Oh, I am such a country bumpkin," Donghyuck whispered as they made their way to vacant seats on the back. "The city is so extraordinary. I’ve never seen those kinds of technology before."</p><p>Just as they sat down, through the window did Jaemin catch a glimpse of Renjun and Mark holding hands while crossing the street. Either they ate breakfast together in a neighboring café before heading to school or Renjun lived somewhere nearby and Mark was there to walk him. Jaemin prayed they wouldn't get on the bus. They didn't. Instead, they walked into a donut shop.</p><p>Jaemin felt his soul coming back to him.</p><p>"You okay?"</p><p>Jaemin nodded.</p><p>"Who were you following?"</p><p>"Pardon?"</p><p>"I saw you looking at someone," Donghyuck replied. "Who was it?"</p><p>"Just a random somebody from my homeroom class," Jaemin flashed his signature smile. "You don't need to worry."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Semester exams were fast approaching. Donghyuck was desperate to do well.</p><p>His mortifying moments didn’t matter to him anymore. He may not be in good terms with how life was in the city yet, but all that mattered to him was success.</p><p>Despite his mistakes he had caused while trying to blend in the city life, he still managed to score the highest and be on top of his classes. The teachers grew a liking towards him, one more solid, for he was one of the most active students in his batch. He had great qualities elders often wanted to find in an average student. Donghyuck was the person they have been looking for.</p><p>He was a great emcee too. He hosted several events in and out of the school in spite of being new to the environment, and Jaemin was quite delighted that he could read faster and process words in a second without messing them up, and that he improved a lot, maybe even became a better reader than Jaemin himself.</p><p>Now, here he stood in front of the library with a stack of books on hand. His determination to score higher than everyone on the semester exams weighed like a boulder compared to the books he was carrying.</p><p>He marched inside after registering his name on the attendance. He was the type to frequently use the library, and if not the library, then the city's library. If smaller, then his and Jaemin's shared bookshelf they built together to put on display in their unit was the one.</p><p>Donghyuck enjoyed the silence inside the library. There were several other students studying just as he was. He liked it. No disturbing noises or whatever. Just stillness and restrained combustions while minds try to overcome that of a genius'.</p><p>What a blessing for Donghyuck. But blessings don't last forever, do they? He enjoyed reading a page on his textbook until a scrawny boy in a printed hoodie plopped down on the seat next to him. Donghyuck's attention drifted from his textbook to the boy.</p><p>"Hey."</p><p>Donghyuck didn't change his expression. "Hey."</p><p>"I know this is sudden and all, but… Can we be friends?"</p><p>"Um, I’m sorry, not to sound rude, but what's your name?"</p><p>"I'm Liu Yangyang."</p><p>"That's a foreign name."</p><p>"I'm from China," Yangyang stated. "I live here in South Korea because my parents work here. We went here when I was four. That's a boring background, isn't it?"</p><p>“Yeah,” Donghyuck curled his lips. "Unless your father left you when you were five."</p><p>"He did?"</p><p>"And your mother died shortly after because she had been taking medications to deal with her own severe depression and other mental disorders that were living within her.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“And you were aware of absolutely nothing because you were just a kid and you didn't help your mom and always took her last piece of pie without knowing what she felt deep inside, then you regret it for the rest of your life because you never got the chance to pay her for the love she raised you with and hug her one last time."</p><p>Shit.</p><p>"Oh, I’m so sorry," Yangyang apologized. "I... I didn't know you went through a tragedy."</p><p>"It's okay. It's not sensitive to me, so don't feel butthurt."</p><p>"Can we be friends then?"</p><p>Donghyuck paused. He hesitantly nodded.</p><p>"Great! Can I have your phone number?"</p><p>"Eh?"</p><p>"You know, so we can chat often?"</p><p>"Um, the thing is," Donghyuck scratched his nape. "I don't have a phone."</p><p>He waited for Yangyang's face to morph into that of disappointment or of disgust as everybody else did. He didn’t. Rather, Yangyang flashed him a toothy smile.</p><p>"That's okay! I'll buy you one."</p><p>Donghyuck blinked.</p><p>"What?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>By the time Jaemin sprayed his perfume around him that morning and inhaled its scent, he expected the day to be a really, definitely, absolutely great day.</p><p>Or so he thought.</p><p>When he woke up, Donghyuck left earlier and Jaemin had no idea where he went. Not that he cared, or maybe he really cared, but he had plans for his own good and needed to meet up with Jeno, his partner in laboratory work, at the coffee shop down the lane so they can start working on their Chemistry report as a competent pair.</p><p>"We could just report to them that the two of us have good chemistry together."</p><p>"No. Fuck you. Shut up."</p><p>"Na Jaemin? Cursing?" A gasp. "No way!"</p><p>"I would like you to get back to work, Jeno."</p><p>"Yes sir."</p><p>Jaemin expected it to be a great day. It turned out to be otherwise. He couldn’t determine the oxide of Nitrogen used in medicine as an anesthetic and now he was grumbling in frustration both wanting and not wanting to give up.</p><p>"I'm telling you, it's Nitrogen pentoxide," Jeno supplied. "Are you not believing me because I look brainless? C'mon, Jaems. Search the internet. Skim the textbook. If you don't believe me, you're an asshole."</p><p>"Are you really not lying to me?"</p><p>"Am not."</p><p>"Is that true?"</p><p>"Jaemin."</p><p>"With all due honesty, I can't trust people like you sometimes–"</p><p>His eyes drifted past the window glass and scanned the two people taking a walk on the other side of the road. Their backs were to him, to theirs, but they caught his attention regardless.</p><p>Jeno looked at him in puzzlement. "What? Did you figure it out?"</p><p>"Jeno," Jaemin pointed a finger to them. "Who's that?"</p><p>"... Lee Donghyuck? You know, that weird guy in my Statistics class who can't even use a phone but can taunt a teacher and make them raise his grades."</p><p>Jaemin didn't have the time to punch Jeno in the face for simply calling Donghyuck 'weird'.</p><p>"Yeah goddamn it, of course I know him! He's my flatmate!"</p><p>"Woah he's your what–"</p><p>"I meant to ask who's that boy he's with. The one wearing a trench coat."</p><p>Jeno whipped his head to them, finally getting a full view of the two people together. He shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of his macchiato.</p><p>"I don't know. He looks like that Liu boy. I don't know about him, but Lee Donghyuck picked out the wrong shoes for his get-up. Boots with a bright-colored pullover at this season? Just no, no way, like, ew. That should be illegal. Is he a fashion terrorist?”</p><p>Jaemin didn't have a great day. In fact, he didn't have a good time for several months.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>For several months, Jaemin saw Donghyuck hanging out with Yangyang more often than not. Sometimes he'd even pick up the cojones to stalk them wherever they went, to the groceries, the nearest beach, and to Donghyuck's all-time favorite café where they worked together on numerous occasions.</p><p>Jaemin counted. He slept alone in their shared bed for fifty-seven nights. He had no one to wake up to, no one to cook breakfast for, and no one to bathe with but himself. Grief was lodged in his heart. If Jeno was to storm in his apartment right now yelling at him that he was late for his first class, Jaemin wouldn't know how to explain why he was crying so hard he ended up having blotched cheeks and a runny nose. Jaemin didn't understand himself too. What was wrong with him?</p><p>“What is wrong with me?”</p><p>"Listen here, you son of a bitch. You have a crush on Lee Donghyuck."</p><p>"No."</p><p>"And you're in your denial phase," Jeno rolled his eyes. He watched Jaemin not bulge a muscle on his seat, his lunch left untouched. "Maybe if you eat and finish your food before it grows cold, God will favor you and make you and Donghyuck live happily ever after."</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Wanna bet? One year from now, you'll realize your 'no's were only bitter lies."</p><p>"But he's dating Liu Yangyang," Jaemin objected. "That shit prick. He doesn't deserve Donghyuck."</p><p>"They're not dating," said Jeno. "According to Guanheng in my English class, that is. And Guanheng is friends with Yangyang so yep, I believe in that."</p><p>"You have no idea how much I'm getting suspicious of them because I’m in the same Trig class as Yangyang so I know he uses his phone during class hours and he gets all giddy while I answer a difficult question the professor has given for a recitation. Yangyang bought Donghyuck a phone and buys him coffee every day. I know you won't believe me, but for fifty-seven nights, I didn't see Donghyuck and didn't sleep with him. He only comes around to greet me, picks up what he needs for the day, then leaves. I'm convinced a part of his soul lives in Yangyang's apartment now."</p><p>Jeno didn't need to ask why Jaemin was counting.</p><p>"You're jealous."</p><p>"I'm not."</p><p>"Yes, you are."</p><p>"I–" Jaemin heaved. "Well, I have a question."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Do you still have a crush on Renjun?"</p><p>The bell's ring resonated.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Fifteen years ago, it dawned to them that being city boys who weren't that familiar with all of its aspects was hard. In fact, living in a city without a guardian wasn't easy. They were just students and adults in their first year, yet faced with issues and went through ups and downs.</p><p>Donghyuck challenged himself to ride an emotional rollercoaster regarding the amount of homework and of stress he was undergoing each day. He'd hurry back home to their apartment and scream into his pillow to stop his tears from flowing. How he wished he could just escape everything and goddamn it, he wanted his student life to be over, yet he didn't give up. He never did. He kept his chin up and never let the crown on his head fall.</p><p>Jaemin confronted toxic people in his school. He fought against their haughty attitude and chose to ignore them at the end. They weren't worth his time. He knew that very well.</p><p>On the risible side, Jaemin was always troubled when it came to using gadgets. He couldn’t switch on and off the television the proper way using the remote control and type fast on a mobile phone. Jeno's mother gave it to him as a Christmas present because oh well, she was really fond of Jaemin, to the point she couldn't stand seeing him leave the Lee household and go back home after joining them for dinner.</p><p>In the meantime, Donghyuck was slowly adapting, though encountered disadvantages such as traffic congestion, overpopulation, and more. One look at an account settlement letter and he’ll either faint or look sullen for the rest of the day. Their needs costed too expensive they usually cost higher than their budget, so Donghyuck had to take matters into his own hands. The result of that was having trouble looking for a job.</p><p>Donghyuck worked in a café, was kicked out. Wiped windows and mopped floor in a thrift store down the road, got a wad of cash, then was kicked out for violating the stupid 'no eating in the storage room' rule. In the end, he would frequently shift from jobs to jobs since he didn't want to rely on Yangyang for money.</p><p>Another disadvantage that became his biggest enemy in the city was crimes. There was one time he got lured into a trap by a thief and gave in his wallet when Jaemin came to save the day. He sent the criminal to the ground and dragged him like a ragdoll for the police to see. Donghyuck was taken in for interrogation by the police, making him miss five hours of his routine in which he should be doing three homework due the next day.</p><p>The outcome of that was his hatred fueled from rock bottom to sky high. He hated criminals and Seoul's crime rates. There was one time when Donghyuck was approached by a company agent who offered him an in-demand job, even gave him their business card. It happened five times that day, each time it did one agent was from a different company. Donghyuck had trust issues. He turned them all down, afraid of being scammed. He only found out that those people weren’t trying to scam him into anything when he recognized the logos on their business cards to be the same as the ones in those music videos Yangyang liked so much.</p><p>“They must’ve gone to you because you look handsome,” Yangyang said. "But not gonna lie. I would’ve done the same.”</p><p>“Well, what do they do?”</p><p>“They turn you into a k-pop idol, in which you’ll have to choose one label and work under them. Don’t go to SM, it has been forever since they last debuted a group and God knows how many trainees are stuck in their basement.”</p><p>“Huh. Thanks, but it’s not like I’ll go.”</p><p>“Their artists make a lot of money.”</p><p>“Life is not about money,” Donghyuck voiced. “And if I chose this career path, who knows how many years in my life will go to waste?”</p><p>"Exactly."</p><p>Donghyuck scooped the cards out of his pocket as he walked towards a trash can. He stepped on the foot pedal, releasing the small pieces of paper that were valued by many. And just like that, he threw away a dream he had never dreamt of setting an ambition for. He had yet again eliminated another one of life’s tricky promenades.</p><p>One time, he decided to stay in the piano room after school, the gleaming light of the sunset peeking through the glass window. He submerged himself in his own thoughts as his fingers hovered over the keys and moved around the chords on their own. Yangyang thought him how to play the piano not long ago, and ever since then, he was eager to master the revered instrument.</p><p>He had a lot of other things to worry about. If Yangyang safely arrived home, if Yuta was doing fine alone in their house miles away from where they lived, if the teachers and students still had a positive view of him, or if his life was turning out great in spite of the storms he vanquished. He didn't know when his life will be upended. He wasn't definite about what his life's turning point will be, and where was he heading. Maybe after graduating, he can work to make a good living, but will he get the work he desired? But he hadn't decided on his dream career yet. He wanted to work at a farm and tend to horses back at home, but they didn't receive that much money just like other residents in faraway towns did.</p><p>He was hauled out of his thoughts when the door was swung open. There stood no other than Na Jaemin, uniform clean and hair neatly combed.</p><p>Donghyuck constrained the urge to scowl at him.</p><p>"Hey."</p><p>"Hey!" Jaemin beamed. "I knew I'd find you here. You were tuning very well. I could tell even if I’m not some big-brained music genius."</p><p>"What did you come here for?"</p><p>Jaemin sighed. He didn't drop his smile.</p><p>"Let's go home, 'Hyuck."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Walking home with Jaemin under the orange hues of the sky felt different than when they were children. It made Donghyuck feel things, for they did it often when they were kids on the way home from the stable, or the barn, or the shack library. This time, they were on the way home from school. His heart clenched at the thought of them knowing each other for most of their lives because Donghyuck, oh wise Donghyuck, had one fear and that was losing the person he always depended on.</p><p>Jaemin said they were not going to ride the bus. He said he preferred to walk to save money and take their time before twilight. That was fine with Donghyuck, of course. He could always catch up to Jaemin's inhumane stamina and build his own.</p><p>For what reason? Because he looked up to Jaemin's manliness. He admired him. And not only that admiration was strong, but it also developed into something stronger as time went by.</p><p>Again, he was pulled out of his thoughts like someone grabbing on his auburn hair upon stumbling past the faculty building. Through the clear glass window on the third floor, Donghyuck could discern their World History teacher, Mr. Lee.</p><p>Jaemin followed his line of sight. He turned to Donghyuck.</p><p>"Did you forget to turn in an assignment in Mr. Lee's class?"</p><p>"Hey, Jaemin."</p><p>The said boy raised an eyebrow, "yeah?"</p><p>"I know this is weird, but... I think Mr. Lee is my long lost father."</p><p>If the younger boy was drinking his sixth Americano of the day, no doubt he would've choked on it.</p><p>"Please tell me you're kidding."</p><p>"Am not."</p><p>"Well... Uh, drop the assumption, 'Hyuck. It's no use if you keep convincing yourself that he's your father without any evidence. Crucial evidence."</p><p>"But–"</p><p>"No but's here. You've seen his demeanor in the halls. You bear no resemblance to him. He's nothing like you." Jaemin persuaded. "Besides, If I were you, I'll throw the thought out the window because my goddamn father left me at such a young age with no reason at all, and because I don’t want to beat myself up about that. I’ll have to constantly remind myself that I have every right to be mad. That should be how you feel. Letting your demons out, Donghyuck, steam off. What anyone who’s in the same situation as you would’ve done."</p><p>"But we're different. You lost only a mother, while I lost both."</p><p>"Donghyuck."</p><p>"Fuck this shit," he cursed. Grousing, he turned away from Jaemin and fastened his pace. "I'll go see Mr. Lee after school tomorrow!"</p><p>"Hey! ‘Hyuck, you can't!"</p><p>Jaemin ran to catch up. Donghyuck was quite a fast walker for his age (if that term even existed) despite not being on any sports club.</p><p>Jaemin dug his fingernails into his palms.</p><p>"You should improve your fashion sense before you talk to that grown-ass man!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Thirteen years ago, the latter half of their school year passed in a blink of an eye.</p><p>It was over in a short time (a long time for someone as time-conscious as Donghyuck). Donghyuck and Jaemin spent a night cleaning their apartment, disposing anything that might cause an accident if left alone over time, and packed their things ready to go back home.</p><p>"Hey, don't put the alcoholic substance near plugs or sockets."</p><p>"Where shall I put them then?"</p><p>"In my bag. We're bringing these pesticides back home."</p><p>"What? We have plenty of it in the cupboards–"</p><p>"Hyuck, it's a super late birthday gift for dad!"</p><p>"Uh, can we bring pesticides on a train?"</p><p>"We can be ninjas."</p><p>It didn't take them long to catch up to the train the next morning with all their suitcases packed. It was the second day of their summer vacation. They fell asleep, Jaemin spent the ride reading a book, Donghyuck ate all the snacks, then they fell asleep again.</p><p>By the time they've reached their destination, they had to resist the urge to collapse on the floor with all the heavy bags they had to carry, three for Jaemin and four for Donghyuck. Jaemin huffed and dragged the other by his sleeve.</p><p>"C'mon, we'll miss the bus if you keep sulking like that."</p><p>"I just woke up from my precious nap. My body isn’t ready to carry all of these loads."</p><p>"'Kay. You want me to ditch you here, go ahead, and see dad first?"</p><p>Donghyuck slumped his shoulders.</p><p>"Fine. But you have to buy me curry buns."</p><p>"I don't think they sell them around here."</p><p>“Really? Is God not on my side today or what?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I'm so grateful we could talk tonight," Yuta hummed as he poured tea on two cups, one for him and the other for Jaemin. "Where's Donghyuck?"</p><p>"He's asleep."</p><p>No, he wasn’t. He could hear them all the way from his room. Their room. And to hear clearer, he stood behind the door to avoid being caught.</p><p>"Aww, what a pity. I was hoping to hear from both of you after ten months of waiting.”</p><p>“You can ask him about things tomorrow.”</p><p>“Right. So you start, Nana. How was your first year?"</p><p>"It was fine," Jaemin said. "I met new people, I made new friends, and the teachers favored me."</p><p>"As expected of my child! Your grades were okay, I assume?"</p><p>"Of course, dad, have a little bit of faith in me, will you?" Jaemin snorted. "We had miserable times too because of part-time jobs, all the stacks of homework to be submitted before holidays, and the custom of city life overall."</p><p>"I understand. Living in the city is quite hectic."</p><p>"You've lived there?"</p><p>"Hm," Yuta admitted. " I studied at a prestigious university there. I shall tell you this: to have good and bad times is part of your life. It's part of growing up, and when you grow up, you adapt. Trust me, Nana. If it becomes unbearable, you know where to go."</p><p>"Woah. Yeah, okay, I understand."</p><p>"So? Anything else that happened? Entertain me." Yuta chuckled. "Any love affairs? Tell me about Donghyuck too!"</p><p>As his son, Jaemin knew damn well how to please Yuta.</p><p>"Did you say love affairs? Because hell yes I do."</p><p>Donghyuck almost flinched. He covered his nose and narrowed down his breath. He couldn't be caught like this. Eavesdropping was not a good thing to do, the elderly neighbors taught him that, but how couldn’t he when his sense of hearing was sharper than a razor?</p><p>"Got yourself a girlfriend?" Yuta inquired. "How was she?"</p><p>"I actually didn't get one. I have many stories to tell, just don’t be disappointed because I’m not in those stories. I’m actually glad I’m not part of any of them." Jaemin answered, his voice plain and lacking emotions. "And to be honest? I think Donghyuck got a girlfriend."</p><p>Donghyuck felt like he had been hit by a brick on the upper part of his head. He tried his best to refrain from making any more noise unlike Yuta, who gasped so loud he felt sorry for his lungs.</p><p>"He did?"</p><p>"Dad, please don't do anything bad. I'm telling you, it isn't a girlfriend. It is a boyfriend."</p><p>"His name?"</p><p>"He's in my Trig class, I think. Name's Liu Yangyang."</p><p>Donghyuck wished he could gag out all his intestines right now.</p><p>"He must be Chinese," Yuta presumed. "Well, that's fine with me! As if I'm not proud of him for finding himself a significant other. I'll tell him to be happy then."</p><p>Shit. Shit shit shit, Jaemin got the wrong idea. Yuta believed everything he said. Donghyuck was screwed. Shit.</p><p>"In that case, can I talk to you, dad?"</p><p>"I knew you had a concern you've been gritting on your teeth all this time," Yuta remarked. "Spit it out, boy. What is it?"</p><p>"If you're happy with Donghyuck, does that mean–"</p><p>"I’m okay with his sexuality? Of course, who did you think I was? I've hooked up with several other guys before your mom, and she was the only woman I ever laid my hands on."</p><p>Jaemin wasn't surprised at the hookup part. He always knew that his father was quite the playboy type when he was his age. Anyhow, he respected him for staying loyal to his mother who changed him into a new person.</p><p>The only thing he never knew was the fact that he was bisexual.</p><p>"You never told me you're bi. Or... That's what they call in the city."</p><p>"You didn't ask." Yuta bluntly replied. "Enough of me, Nana. Do you have anything more to say?"</p><p>"I... I think I'm gay."</p><p>"For Donghyuck?"</p><p>Jaemin widened his eyes. "How did you know?!"</p><p>"I'm not oblivious, don't underestimate me! I've always taken notice of the way you look at him like he carries your world. It's like you don't want Donghyuck to associate himself with another man or woman who isn't you." Yuta glimmered. "No offense, kid, but you didn't surprise me with that one, Nana. Try harder."</p><p>Jaemin slammed his cup on the table, somehow managing not to break the porcelain item.</p><p>"That doesn't necessarily mean I'm only attracted to Donghyuck though. I'll experiment with myself, then see if I'm really gay."</p><p>“Okay. C’mon, start with city life stories. I can’t go to sleep, so consider this your bedtime stories to me."</p><p>“Are you seriously getting us to try out reversed roles?”</p><p>“City. Life. Stories.”</p><p>"Fine! I'll tell you this then. My school is overflowing with issues, and my favorite just happens to be the love thing between the school's most popular Mr. Perfect and the ideal sassy nerd everyone crushes on. Mr. Perfect lives up to his name because nobody hates him, he excels in all his classes, he's only a year above us yet somehow managed to become a vice president for the student council, and he's good at every instrument you can find in the music room and at every ball you can spot in the closet of the sports gym! My new best friend I've told you about, Lee Jeno is his name, he has the biggest– like very big!– crush on Mr. Nerd, but apparently, they–"</p><p>"Mr. Perfect and Mr. Smarty Pants are dating."</p><p>"Grr."</p><p>“Anything else besides the cliché story?”</p><p>“Donghyuck had a crush on Mr. Perfect and cried about he found out he’s in a relationship.”</p><p>Donghyuck rolled his eyes. He climbed back to his bed and plopped his blankets over him. He inched closer to the edge, his sympathy for Jaemin growing so he wouldn't have to sleep on the floor that hadn't been swept yet.</p><p>After the sundown talk with Yuta, Jaemin slept beside Donghyuck. Jaemin slept beside him with his back facing his. He didn't bother grabbing the blankets like they used to back then when they would fight over the blankets by commencing a pillow fight.</p><p>In so many inexpressible ways, Jaemin felt distant.</p><p>The night was cold. That was the first night in summer in which Jaemin noticed the temperature drop low.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin found out the answer to his own little concern the next morning. Yuta seemed to have towed their land the whole time they were away in Seoul, and the grasses were greener than before and new seeds were collected. They were near the peak of the mountains, so it made sense why it was chilly.</p><p>"Here, have ramen for breakfast," Yuta served two bowls on the table, one in front of Jaemin and the other to Donghyuck whose corners of lips had been trying not to drool. "The wind is humid today, isn't it? Apparently it was the same as yesterday. Oh, and Donghyuck."</p><p>Donghyuck froze. Was he going to tell him about the boyfriend thing? Yangyang? About School? About Jaemin? About his–</p><p>"You can skip barn work for today. You must be tired."</p><p>Donghyuck almost choked on the noodles, coughing out a bit of his saliva much to Jaemin's chagrin.</p><p>"W-Why? I mean, you're the one who's tired, you have been working hard all the time Jaemin and I were gone, so I should do work as much as you have done too!"</p><p>Jaemin slurped on his ramen whilst chewing the gyoza. He glanced at neither side.</p><p>"No, it's fine." Yuta deadpanned, holding up the 'okay' fingers. He grinned like a wild fox that it creeped Donghyuck out. "We all know how fast you get sick when it's cold!"</p><p>Slurp.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>In the middle of summer vacation, Donghyuck did get sick and ended up spending a week lying in bed with a high fever. Worse, for the rest of the summer, he pretended to be clueless about Jaemin’s thing, hoping it would pass and die down.</p><p>No one may have noticed, but Donghyuck sometimes stared at Jaemin for twenty minutes while he worked on the hay despite his horrible allergy (he came home with hives plastered on his back), drove the cart to and from the barn, and did all the shoveling to leave open holes for new seeds. As much as Donghyuck wanted to help, Yuta forced him into being bedridden and rarely let him out of the house. The only time Donghyuck did farm work was when he milked the cows since Jaemin was lactose intolerant and couldn't even stand within a meter radius to cows (because he wanted to drink their milk so bad, was all), or that one time when he fetched buckets of water from the well about twelve times in a day.</p><p>By the time Donghyuck recovered, the first thing he did after waking up without breaking into sweat was sprint out of the house without a pair of shoes on and welcomed the moist grass under his feet. He took off his shirt and jumped into the lake. The tip of his toes felt the uneven pebbles at the bottom of the water, some of them splashing everywhere as a cause of his motion. The temperature was warm somehow, the water so clear the light of the sun passed and scattered through the rocks underwater. Fresh it was, fresher even because he was alone.</p><p>Donghyuck spent that morning taking a nap at the lake and came back to their house soaking wet, almost sending Yuta to a cardiac arrest due to fear of him having high fever again. Jaemin prepared him a hot bath after that. Yuta asked him about the lake situation at lunch, so he told them about the nap.</p><p>"You slept?! But you just woke up!"</p><p>"It's normal," said Jaemin, chewing his soba noodles. "There have been many cases in which I woke him up for school, he actually wakes up, and goes back to sleep."</p><p>Yuta raised his eyebrows. "And?"</p><p>"And I whi–"</p><p>"He whishes his hand!" Donghyuck bluffed. "Yeah, you know, like whoosh and bam and nyoom."</p><p>Jaemin snorted. "As if that's even a word."</p><p>"I invented it! See, aren't I so smart?"</p><p>Jaemin shook his head. "I can't stand you."</p><p>"I can't stand you either."</p><p>Yuta rolled his eyes. It was true that Donghyuck and Jaemin often argued every two days and one of them would get away with it by watching Yuta's old TV series DVD collection to relieve the stress. For the rest of the summer vacation, it was just like that. Just the three of them at the foot of the mountains, living like normal townspeople, and doing farm work for a living.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Their second year in high school came sooner than expected.</p><p>They boarded the train just in time to reopen their apartment again (they made a deal with the landlord before they left for the summer, that deal being if he left their unit abandoned and neglected in the halls without any care in the world for the rest of their vacation, they'll let him increase the percentage of their monthly rent by 5%). Before that, Yuta packed them six bento boxes which resulted in him staying up all night. Donghyuck only found out that time that Yuta was fully Japanese by birth and was a Japanese citizen, to which Jaemin sneered at ("So you're... Half-Japanese?" "Thankfully, I am.").</p><p>The whole train ride was silent. Awkward, even.</p><p>The only thing Donghyuck could hear was the rustling of the wheels on the tracks and the bumps. Jaemin stared off at the window watching the clear sky as they moved past the landscapes, his eyes so lethargic yet so awake Donghyuck bet he drank caffeine that morning. Donghyuck tried to avoid his gaze at all costs by reading a romance novel he found under Yuta's shoebox filled with bracelets and earrings he wore a lot during his youth.</p><p>A few more words did he skim through, although the silence between them was biting. All he wanted was to relieve the tension building up before it gets any worse.</p><p><em>Say something, 'Hyuck!</em> He stomped at his own foot, clenching his teeth. <em>Say something, say something, say something–</em></p><p>"Hey 'Hyuck?"</p><p>Donghyuck jolted.</p><p>"Y–" Ow. "Eep?"</p><p>Jaemin twitched an eyebrow to witnessing Donghyuck unintentionally bite his tongue. "I was wondering... If you're okay?"</p><p>"I'm fine. You didn't need to worry."</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, it's alright." Donghyuck assured him with a thumbs-up. Jaemin didn't change his expression, much to Donghyuck's dismay. "Fine. I was meaning to tell you something."</p><p>"You can tell me anything. You could've just said so."</p><p>"Okay. So, uh," Donghyuck cleared his throat. "About the thing with Mr. Lee."</p><p>"Oh. What about him?"</p><p>"Remember that time I went off to see him in the faculty just to ask if he was my long-lost father? Well, he said no, but believe me, I really think he's–"</p><p>"Hyuckie, he didn't say no. I was there. He specifically said 'Pardon? I don't know what you're talking about.', and you said, 'can I know your background? Like, your family?' and he said, 'I don't think it's necessary for you to know, I'm sorry.' and you were really persistent into making him spill the thing about him until he finally said," Jaemin snorted, ready to imitate his tone a bit too dramatically. "'Uh, I don't know what you'd need this for, but I have an ex-wife.'"</p><p>"I’m surprised none of that was exaggerated, though I don't think that was all he said."</p><p>"Yes, and that was because you forced him into admitting that, he, in fact, has a son! A son whose face he didn't even get to see grow up for all over the years!"</p><p>"My point, exactly. Now, you believe he's my father?"</p><p>"No. Nuh-uh. I'd rather believe Mark Lee might be his long-lost son."</p><p>"Ew. Don't ever bring that name up into my face again.” Donghyuck gagged. “Listen Jaem, this is important. If my mom in heaven knows who and where her husband and her son's father currently is, then I have the right to know too!"</p><p>Jaemin's fingers curled.</p><p>"Yeah, sure. Maybe you should go to heaven to see your mother and ask her."</p><p>Donghyuck loured. Jaemin wiggled his hands.</p><p>"What? Did I say something wrong?"</p><p>"Jaem–"</p><p>"Okay, Lee Donghyuck. Here's the deal. Maybe you should go to the nearest police station, ask them how to look for your cheater-ass-motherfucking dad who left the both of you and never came back and didn't even come to your mother's funeral and left you starving! See if they will bring you to a laboratory where they'll study your DNA, do a background check on you, and give you your results to prove everything because everything relies on Science and, see, fucking see how much they'll ask you in return because nothing, absolutely nothing in this world is free!"</p><p>"Jaemin–"</p><p>"And while you're in that police station, you feel something in your stomach bubbling up so you run to the bathroom and there you go! You see yourself reflected at the bottom of the toilet! Full of crap! Shit! Full-blown shit! That's what you are!"</p><p>"Uh, Jaemin–"</p><p>"Can't you pay more attention to the people around you?! I'm doing the best for you, 'Hyuck, I really am. I personally think that you should let go of the father thing issue because I personally think it's best if you leave it and stop hoping that Mr. Lee is your dad because fuck that, you can suck it up as much as you want and I don't know if you already know about this because they're pretty discreet and no one else in the school knows except me and Jeno but he, in fact, is dating Mr. Suh!"</p><p>"Jaemin, I know, I jus– WAIT WHAT?!"</p><p>"Now you're actually talking to me?! I can't believe you have the guts to talk to me! Can you not blurt out a single word until we've reached our apartment which is probably like five hours from now and I'm starving so give me my second dose of iced coffee from the hydro flask and get me my horrible frozen corn beef sandwich you made a mess of in the kitchen a few days ago so I had to clean that up, mop everything, swoop swoop swoop, just sweeping all of that vomit-like stuff for two and a half hour while dad's soot allergy gets worse so he locked himself in the bathroom for what? For what seemed like a fourth of his lifetime! A fourth, 'Hyuck, A FOURTH! THAT'S LONG! WELL, YOU MAY NOT UNDERSTAND HOW LONG THAT IS SINCE YOU'RE STILL A CURSED FETUS ONLY BEEN LIVING FOR FOR MAYBE THREE YEARS BUT YES, 'Hyuck, YOU’RE CLEANING ALL THE COBWEBS IN THE UNIT ONCE WE GET BACK AS PAYMENT!"</p><p>"Na Jaemin."</p><p>"WHAT?!"</p><p>Donghyuck winced. "Uh, can you tone it down? People are staring."</p><p>Jaemin huffed, letting the last bit of his anger out through a puff of wind. He didn't bother looking around, instead just whipped out a magazine from the back of the chair in front of him and randomly overturned to a page. He glared at Donghyuck's way.</p><p>"Don't talk to me."</p><p>"I haven't said anything yet–"</p><p>"So for the love God, instead of swoop swoop swoop, can't your mouth go zip zip zip?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As months advanced, Donghyuck became aware of the radical changes between him and Jaemin.</p><p>They drifted away from each other. They only uttered a maximum of ten words while they were both standing under their own roof.</p><p>Donghyuck is the observant type, so he didn’t fail to notice Yangyang becoming more apparent with him than how he was subtle last year. He'd treat him to lunch without expecting anything in return, help him with chapters and tests, give him chocolates for no reason, and walk him home.</p><p>On the other hand, Jaemin hung out with Jeno a lot to the point he'd come home late and was almost never in their apartment. Jaemin came and slept over to Jeno's apartment which was only one block away from theirs, and they’d usually play video games together to kill time.</p><p>Jaemin kept it at the very back of his head, but he felt empty whenever he was with Jeno. Jeno was just a friend who had his own limits too. He couldn’t take care of Jaemin all the time.</p><p>"Dude, you gotta talk to him. He's like, your everything."</p><p>"Everything?"</p><p>"Yeah? He's your brother, your friend, your best friend– everything."</p><p>"I know," Jaemin rubbed his forehead. "It's just that, I don't know, I feel like there's this force of gravity weighing on me that tells me to stop talking to Donghyuck. I don't want to ruin his life, let alone ruin his relationship with Yangyang."</p><p>"Oh god."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You're in love." Jeno continued to polish his nails. "And jealous, maybe.”</p><p>“I’m not jealous!”</p><p>“So you admit you’re in love?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin threw pages about taxes return into the bin. He pulled onto his hair, grumbling.</p><p>It didn't take him long to act normal again when the door opened, its hinges squeakily creaking. Jaemin’s eyes fell on Donghyuck. He was dressed in black from head to toe, smoky eyeliners standing out among his facial features. Jaemin couldn't help but say something.</p><p>"Woah. Who died?"</p><p>"No one?"</p><p>"Really? Where did you go then?"</p><p>"Yangyang dragged me to a punk concert. I don't know who the band is, but they sure had good songs."</p><p>"That's nice."</p><p>"Well," Donghyuck awkwardly rubbed his nape. "I'll just go shower. I heard we will have water interruptions at 10."</p><p>"Oh no, I haven't showered today," Jaemin asked. "What time is it?"</p><p>"It's 9:44. We only got 16 minutes. Want to shower together?"</p><p>Wow, Lee Donghyuck. So straightforward.</p><p>They did end up showering together. It was awkward, then again, the memories of them bathing together at the lake, at the bathroom cabin in their small little house, or at the bottom of the waterfalls popped up in their heads. They've done it numerous times before, why be ashamed of it now?</p><p>"Hyuck, I think they're gonna cut off our water services for a little bit longer."</p><p>"And why do you think of that?"</p><p>"I... Haven't been paying rent?"</p><p>"Oh. About that, don't worry," said Donghyuck as he reached out for the shampoo. "I'll find a job so we can pay all the bills. Your dad can't keep sending money all the way to here in the city just for us. We can't rely on others, we’re adults now."</p><p>"Well, that's not true because you're letting me rely on you," Jaemin retorted. "At least let me help. I'll find a job too, yeah?"</p><p>"It's up to you. Though I'd prefer me being the only one working part-time here."</p><p>"Your ears are red."</p><p>"So?"</p><p>"You're lying, aren't you? Ugh, you're too nice. Cut it out."</p><p>"Cut out what?"</p><p>"Being adorable."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The one time Yangyang was absent, Donghyuck had no one to sit with during lunch.</p><p>Yangyang did tell him about it yesterday, the reason being his grandmother's death anniversary. Donghyuck wasn't prepared. He had no one and had no idea how to spend the day except for having to sit in class for hours and stare at the board inattentively.</p><p>Sitting alone in the middle of a bustling cafeteria didn't last long. All it took for him to not be alone anymore was a tray slammed to the table. Now someone was sitting across him.</p><p>"Jaem?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"What are you doing here?"</p><p>"Why? Is it wrong to sit with you?"</p><p>"No, it's just you took me by surprise. Where's Jeno?"</p><p>"He has duties in the library. He's diligent after all." Jaemin stabbed a piece of kimchi with his fork. "Say, 'Hyuck, can we talk like we used to? But this time it's real talk. Let's be honest."</p><p>"... Yeah?"</p><p>"How are you and Yangyang?"</p><p>Donghyuck drank his glass of water in one gulp. "We're good?"</p><p>"Okay. That's nice to hear. I was just wondering if you would be comfortable talking about the two of us."</p><p>"Jaems, I've known you since we were little. I know you have something else in your head. Tell me anything, I won't mind."</p><p>"Yeah, 'kay. So why are we getting awkward as time goes by?"</p><p>"Heaps of school works. Lack of sleep. Or you take a guess."</p><p>"I don't like the sound of us separating. If you're gone, I'm gone. We were in this partners-in-crime agenda ever since the time we didn't know what a moon was yet. I just don't like it, okay? I really don't."</p><p>"Then what about you stop coming over to Jeno's?" Donghyuck asked. "I don't see anything so special about that boy. Is it because he's rich that you often come over to his house and play games all day?"</p><p>"What? What would make you think that? I'm not a gold-digger, 'Hyuck. It's just that, you're intimidating me every time you get off your bed in the morning and make your coffee extra extra extra hot that it left a burn mark on your hand."</p><p>"I lacked sleep, okay? If you'd like, we can sleep at 8 together and make breakfast instead of eating microwaved pizza that has been in our freezer for four days. I don't know if that's what best friends do domestically, but if you're out, you're out."</p><p>"I'm in as long as you stop wearing my hoodies."</p><p>Donghyuck shrugged.</p><p>"Works for me."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Halloween approached faster than usual.</p><p>They got a semester break. Most were more excited about the one-week long break rather than Halloween and fall season. Jeno informed Jaemin about the Halloween party thrown by a freshman. Jaemin told Donghyuck about it, and Donghyuck wondered how much of a frat boy that freshie could be, and how rich he could be.</p><p>"I did hear his house is the biggest one in town."</p><p>"Now is not the time to think about others. What do you think should we dress up as?"</p><p>"Fuck it, let's go dress up as cowboys with straw sticks on our pockets."</p><p>They rode the train at 7. It wasn't crowded. Jaemin got the address from Jeno beforehand, and it would take them three stops to get there. Jaemin and Donghyuck were confident boys, if anyone were to stare at them in public because of their cowboy costumes, they wouldn't mind. Donghyuck always thought about it; urban people looking at hayseeds like them.</p><p>They spent their day baking pumpkin pies and jumping around the Autumn leaves that were raked outside their apartment building. They planned shopping for clothes and other necessities, originally, but Jaemin insisted on saving money for future emergencies. And in one way or another, they ended up putting on their farming clothes they brought with them to the city to feel and wear the homage whenever they wanted to.</p><p>The night was starless. Even so, it wouldn't make it any less of a fun night. Silence had been nipping on their skin for a few minutes now until Donghyuck mustered the courage to break it with his voice.</p><p>"Did you know it's illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket?"</p><p>"Eh? That's dumb."</p><p>"Right? Can you imagine such a law?"</p><p>"Nope."</p><p>Donghyuck whipped his head. "You look drained."</p><p>"I've had my sixth Americano of the day just an hour ago."</p><p>Donghyuck leaned onto Jaemin's shoulder. The train didn't stop moving. All they could see ahead and out of the window was the hazy view of the city, never getting a still picture of it in their mind due to the acceleration. It brought Donghyuck the bliss he'd always asked for.</p><p>"Hyuck?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"I know we're not at the party yet, but I'm feeling kinda drunk."</p><p>"It's motion sickness, you idiot." Donghyuck retaliated. "... Wait, you're sick?"</p><p>"No," Jaemin replied. His hand found its way to Donghyuck's as their eyes met. "Can you make me happy than I ever was in my life before?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Hyuck, please? Make me the happiest boy in the world?"</p><p>"Wha–"</p><p>Jaemin gave Donghyuck no time to respond. He closed the gap between their lips, earning a mewl from the other. Deepening the kiss, Donghyuck's hand made its way to  Jaemin's hair. His eyes were shut closed as Donghyuck savored the moment and let Jaemin wrap his arm around his waist.</p><p>The train was deserted, so they felt free to do anything intimate. Jaemin pulled away to take a look at Donghyuck's reaction. His eyes always told a lot more than he wanted to say, Jaemin had known him for so long to know about that.</p><p>Donghyuck seemed desperate. The way he clasped the sleeve of Jaemin's worn out farmer shirt gave Jaemin the idea. Thus, for the second time, they kissed, this time sloppier than amateurs.</p><p>They would probably get lost on their way and miss their station, but they couldn't care less. Their phones buried in their pockets constantly rung due to missed calls and frantic texts from their best friends. They couldn't care less. Though if anyone were to ask why they were late, they'd make up a stupid excuse of setting their kitchen on fire after baking pumpkin pies for everyone instead of admitting the truth.</p><p>The vibrations in their pockets didn't stop them from drowning in each other's elements, snogging in public the way people would call it. Donghyuck was a flash. Jaemin was blinded by the love he had.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"GET UP!"</p><p>Jaemin came ambling into Donghyuck's room still in his pajamas, eyes crescent-shaped as he grabbed one of Donghyuck's textbooks from the edge of his bed. He threw it right at the latter's face. The spine almost broke his nose.</p><p>Donghyuck jolted. He undressed his eye mask and emerged from underneath his heap of cartoon-patterned blankets. When he turned to see his childhood friend, he was no longer there.</p><p>It took a while for Donghyuck to get out of bed and finish his hygiene routine in the bathroom. It was almost the end of the year, and he’d only realize that today was the most-awaited day of the year the second he walked into the living room and saw Jaemin ripping open the presents. Jaemin grinned as he threw some of the torn wrappings to the half-awake Donghyuck.</p><p>Donghyuck didn't even move. He had no energy in him to retaliate. He just blinked and sat down next to Jaemin, eyes roaming around the presents that had yet to be unwrapped.</p><p>"Oh look," Jaemin's smile grew wider. "Jeno gave me something that would come in handy for us."</p><p>"What's that?"</p><p>"I don't know what they call this, but it says in the box that it's a... Wi-Fi modem?"</p><p>"And a router!" Donghyuck gasped. "We can have enough Wi-Fi if we pay the bills. Monthly."</p><p>"Really?" Jaemin started to open the box and take out the items. "Dear God I do hope this is not a prank."</p><p>"Jeno is rich, right? I can't believe he would give you something that expensive. Do you think he has a crush on you?"</p><p>"Hyuck, Jeno has a crush on Renjun, okay? Or had, I don't know. And you had a crush on Mark, so you're both losers. You and Jeno are losers."</p><p>Donghyuck punched him on the elbow. "You're so mean!"</p><p>Before Jaemin's potty mouth could strike back, there was a knock heard from the door. Donghyuck was left alone in the living room unboxing all the gifts, Jaemin's included, whilst the latter stood up to open the door.</p><p>Oh. It was the girl living in the unit above them, whose footsteps they've heard storming against the floor so many times in the middle of the night as she complained about men.</p><p>"Yeri?"</p><p>"Hey," she said. "Merry Christmas."</p><p>"Merry Christmas," Jaemin took the pack of beers from her using both arms. "Did you buy all these?"</p><p>"No. Our landlord did. He’s nice, so he gave each unit a pack of beer. I asked if I could deliver all of them from door to door so he could give me money," Yeri laughed. "That’s right. I may have saved a lot, but I need more money."</p><p>"Understandable," Jaemin said. "Donghyuck and I are poor too, but we'll get there."</p><p>"Yeah, and you won't have to kill our landlord like most people."</p><p>"True that." Jaemin chuckled. "What are you going to do for the day?"</p><p>"Shopping, maybe."</p><p>"Cool. Have fun, then."</p><p>"Thanks," Yeri smiled at him. "Enjoy your Christmas. I'm quite positive you and Donghyuck might be the block's power couple this time around."</p><p>"What's that supposed to mean?"</p><p>Yeri didn't say anything and began to sashay away on her flats. Jaemin's voice echoed once more.</p><p>"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"</p><p>Yeri had gone down the stairs by the time Jaemin asked for the third time, left unanswered. He went back into the living room, a bit annoyed, where he saw a tipsy Donghyuck downing a whole can of unfrozen beer. Horrified, he threw his leather jacket hanging on the nearest chair right at Donghyuck's face. Donghyuck didn't seem to care at least one bit.</p><p>"Wooo, I'm a wizard see that? The shot glass was empty in a blink of an eye!"</p><p>Jaemin snatched the beer out of Donghyuck's hand. "It's too early to be getting wasted, 'Duckie."</p><p>Jaemin expected a whine, but Donghyuck sat there on the couch, swaying his finger mindlessly.</p><p>"I just discovered something. The four genders are cowboy, vampire, wizard, and mad scientist."</p><p>"If that was the case, I'd be a cowboy. Now get your ass up and help me set up the modem."</p><p>"Hold on. If you're waiting for the waiter, aren't you the waiter?"</p><p>"Oh god," Jaemin facepalmed. "You're high!"</p><p>"Come again?"</p><p>"You're high. As a kite."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Twelve years ago, their third year came after summer passed by on a whim. They didn't know how it happened, but they drifted apart and pretended that nothing happened between them during their second year.</p><p>Their relationship started to feel toxic, unhealthy like neither could breathe anymore around each other. Donghyuck didn't want to think that, didn't want to think either that he was in denial, because that happens to all friends, right?</p><p>Donghyuck undoubtedly found grasping the situation difficult, for it had an impact on him and his grades on three subjects dropped. He failed three subjects, was behind class works, and the people at his school made a big deal out of it. But he didn't care anymore, not if he was lacking sleep and overdosing on coffee.</p><p>Just like Jaemin. Except Jaemin didn't miss any homework due. He seemed perfectly fine on the outside, he appeared as just who he had shown himself to be, but Donghyuck knew better because they still shared the same apartment. He knew Jaemin took naps regularly despite the ungodly espresso shots he ordered every day, and he knew Jaemin left the apartment early in the morning to continue studying in the classroom without waking him up.</p><p>They barely exchanged words even though they were in the same room, the same vicinity, breathing the same air. Jaemin would constantly hang out with Jeno in the cafeteria and talk about school, while Donghyuck would talk things out to Yangyang in the music room, even complaining about Jaemin until he felt better and free of weight.</p><p>At that time, Donghyuck could say that Yangyang was the only good thing in his life.</p><p>"Are you sure you want me to help you with Trig?"</p><p>"Of course, otherwise I wouldn't have asked you."</p><p>"It's just that my Math skills are average. But if that's what you want, then okay. I'll do your homework for you."</p><p>Donghyuck blinked. "I never asked you to do my homework."</p><p>"I can do it. Trust me." Yangyang clasped his hand, letting him feel the warmth of his fingers. "You have thirteen due works pending, there is no way you can do this by yourself."</p><p>"Then what do you want me to do?"</p><p>"To rest. Leave the difficult ones to me."</p><p>Donghyuck didn’t know if it was the reassurance in Yangyang's voice or his flirtatious wink that made him feel something bubbling in his chest. Maybe both, the voice in his head supplied.</p><p>Yet somewhere below, deep down in his heart, he felt empty. Void, like a sky with no stars.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"You need to stop pretending you are okay."</p><p>"Shut up."</p><p>Jeno rolled his eyes, bitterly taking a bite of his sashimi roll. "You're burning up. You're sweating. And yet you have your head buried in a textbook. Or should I say, a cloud of Chemistry equations?"</p><p>Jaemin wished he could filter out Jeno's voice using the overlapping conversations in the cafeteria around them. The only thing preventing him from making it possible was the fact that Jeno was right there sitting in front of him, his tray of lunch half-filled, his mouth munching so loud it was getting into Jaemin's nerves. Well, that was the point for Jeno, after all. To annoy the younger.</p><p>"Who says I have a fever? It's just hot here."</p><p>"You never know when to rest, don't you?"</p><p>"So what if I don't?" Jaemin said. "I need to pass every class so I can secure my future. Is there something wrong with that?"</p><p>"You're not taking care of yourself. That's what's wrong."</p><p>"I’m not taking care of myself because I don't have time to do so."</p><p>Jeno took a deep breath as if to restrain himself from popping a vein, or worst, combust into flames.</p><p>"Let me do your Chemistry project."</p><p>"No way."</p><p>"I like Chem, doing more than one project will do no harm to me."</p><p>"And what? My GPA will rely on how well you do my tasks? No. Just, no way. Over my dead body."</p><p>Jeno stared at Jaemin for a good minute. He observed how slowly he ate as if his food was unappetizing, and how he blinked several times as a cause of his eyebags dragging his lids down. He was sweating, breath ragged, and tapping his shoe beneath the table wasn't helping.</p><p>"I'm okay, Jeno. I'm good." Jaemin so obviously lied. "Don't worry about me. Maybe it's just– Uh, a presentation coming up after lunch."</p><p>"No."</p><p>Jaemin whipped his head up to Jeno. "What?"</p><p>"That can't be it."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"... I know it sounds ridiculous, but is this about Donghyuck?"</p><p>"What?" Jaemin let out a forced, dry laugh. "He has nothing to do with me."</p><p>"Really? Or are you just worried that he has feelings for Yangyang?"</p><p>"I don't care if he loves that boy or not, okay? All I need is to be a good junior this year and get the grades I deserve."</p><p>"I thought you and Donghyuck were friends." Jeno speculated. "Have been since you were both young."</p><p>Jaemin placed down his chopsticks and immediately slung his bag over his shoulder. As he stood up, he looked Jeno at the eyes, pushing his own tray gently towards him.</p><p>"I'd at least appreciate it if you can finish my lunch."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Donghyuck pulled an all-nighter for an exam, Jaemin passed out on the couch. It had always been like that. They never came home or left the house at the same time. Whoever got to the bed first got to sleep on it, and whoever didn’t would sleep on the couch. The only few times they'd exchange words were about showering, whose turn it was to pay the bills, or what they wanted for breakfast. Donghyuck was relieved they were still talking, even though their conversations would cut short if they had nothing else to talk about. They also refused to bring up anything regarding their other acquaintances or anything about school, which for the most part was pitiful of them.</p><p>It was getting unhealthy. Awkwardly unhealthy, and Donghyuck didn't know how to fix it.</p><p>He felt like he'd been blessed by some deity out there when he asked for a distraction that could make him forget the whole Na Jaemin situation, for the next day he got a call from Yangyang asking him on a date, and on what world would Donghyuck decline the invitation?</p><p>It was Saturday. Donghyuck woke up with no one in the house. Then again, Yangyang was supposed to be the only person in his mind, not Jaemin. So why was he looking for any sticky notes in the refrigerator Jaemin could've possibly left for him to read before stepping out of the house?</p><p>Donghyuck pushed the thought of it to the back of his head. Scurrying off to the bathroom, he began to kickstart his day with boosted serotonin, thrilled to put on the makeup Yangyang had given him on his birthday.</p><p>"I'm still at home, but I’m on my way," Donghyuck said, his phone next to his ear. "Can't wait to see you."</p><p>"Me too. See you there!"</p><p>"Yep! Where are you right now?"</p><p>"The bus. Looks like I'm gonna arrive first."</p><p>"Cool. I'll be there soon!"</p><p>Donghyuck pocketed his phone, running out of the apartment with the keys jangling on his ring finger. He later slid them into his purse as he ran down the stairs, past the lobby, and to the bus stop, where someone had called him right after he'd just sat down.</p><p>"Hello? Who is this?"</p><p>"<em>It's Jeno, a friend of Jaemin. Is this Donghyuck?</em>"</p><p>Donghyuck squinted. "How did you get my number?"</p><p>"<em>Through Jaemin's phone, but that's not important right now. It's about him though.</em>"</p><p>"What about him?"</p><p>"<em>He fainted in soccer practice. He's in the nurse's office right now and I don't think he will wake up too soon. I'm sorry if I interrupted you, I just thought I should let you know.</em>"</p><p>Donghyuck combed his fingers through his hair. Jaemin was a member of the soccer club and he didn't even know?</p><p>"<em>How is he?</em>"</p><p>"No updates, I'm sorry."</p><p>As much as he wanted to scream at this Jeno guy d<em>amn you! I have a date today!</em>, he pressed his lips and gave him a vague answer before ending the call.</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>Donghyuck pressed the signal button up the window, hastily getting off the bus before the driver could even park at the side. He sprinted back to where he came from for the school was on the opposite side, running like his life depended on it. Even though his sling bag rocking back and forth against his pelvis was getting irritating, he didn't stop dashing past the many citizens walking on the same sidewalk as him, neither did he care about the curious pair of eyes landing on him at every chance they got.</p><p>"Shit!" He cussed upon almost getting run over by a kid on a bike. He profusely apologized while still on the go, on the run, speeding up even faster than before.</p><p>He reached the school in no time and darted past the open gates. It took him a few minutes to race down the halls until he made it to the nurse's office, at least relieved he didn't have to take any stairs on the way.</p><p>He barged in. He didn't care about why the office was empty and the nurse herself wasn't there. He darted towards the beds, drawing the curtains to the side until he was, alas, able to give his lungs a break.</p><p>Jaemin was lying there on the bed, wearing his old band shirt and sweatpants. Donghyuck checked and wasn't surprised to find out he had a high fever, however, felt guilt clamp up his throat. He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the door open.</p><p>"Oh. You're here."</p><p>Donghyuck nodded. "You're Lee Jeno, right?"</p><p>"Yeah," said Jeno, placing a tray of jjajangmyeon, medicine, and a bottle of water on the table next to Jaemin's bed. "That's me."</p><p>Donghyuck forced a smile.</p><p>"I heard about your astounding class performance in Chem. You have my respect."</p><p>"Thanks, it's nothing," Jeno shrugged. "Why did you come here?"</p><p>"Well, I don't want Jaemin dying on my watch."</p><p>"If it's any consolation, Jaemin is not going to die."</p><p>"But his fever is higher than my grades."</p><p>"The nurse said he'll be fine if he gets enough rest."</p><p>Silence lingered not for long since Donghyuck spoke.</p><p>"Can I talk to you?" Donghyuck asked, eyes ever so pleading. "It's just that, you look trustworthy, and I have no one else to talk to."</p><p>"Of course. I don't mind." Jeno noticed the uneasiness Donghyuck's facial expressions projecting. "Do you want to talk outside? You know, just in case."</p><p>"Yes, sure. That works."</p><p>Once they were outside, they leaned over the corridor hall to watch soccer practice unfolding on the field, as Donghyuck laughed at the self-imposed reminder.</p><p>"When did Jaemin join the soccer club?"</p><p>"Just this year."</p><p>"Oh." Donghyuck sighed in relief. "Thank God."</p><p>Jeno raised an eyebrow, "why?"</p><p>"I didn't know, honestly. He'd always come home reeking of sweat from head to toe sometimes, and I always thought it was because he'd run all the way home from school instead of taking the bus so he can save money."</p><p>"Oh, well, now you know," Jeno said. "So what did you want to talk about?"</p><p>Donghyuck scratched the back of his neck, in attempt to distract his brain from disturbances, looking for the right answer to say.</p><p>"I feel guilty."</p><p>"And why is that?"</p><p>"I think I'm the reason why Jaemin is unwell."</p><p>"Hey now, don't say that–"</p><p>"We live under the same roof. I know what he's doing inside our unit as long as I'm also there. I've seen him drink so much coffee, pull all-nighters, skip meals or showers, and I didn't even stop him when I should've."</p><p>"You two were awkward, no?" Jeno inquired. "You shouldn't feel too guilty about this. You need to rest too."</p><p>"If I did that, if I stopped him, if I just– I don't know, took care of him even if he didn't want to be taken care of, none of this would've happened. Jaemin is many things. A feeble person isn’t one of them.”</p><p>"It's nobody's fault. Jaemin is just a dumbass. I think you're only trying to be a good friend and I appreciate that. You know, on behalf of him.”</p><p>“Thanks, but I did something even more terrible today," Donghyuck tilted his chin up, looking straight into Jeno's eyes. "I stood up a date. I stood up a date to get here and now I don't know what to say or text to that person. I'm bad with reasoning, Jeno."</p><p>"You stood up a what?" Jeno gasped. "With who?"</p><p>When Donghyuck didn't say anything, Jeno knew right away.</p><p>"Was it Liu Yangyang?" Jeno hesitated, his orbs glinting at the sight of Donghyuck's jittery fingers. "... It was Liu Yangyang."</p><p>Donghyuck sighed. He let out a half-suppressed smile, laughing.</p><p>"I'm gonna need a good excuse to tell him. God, I'm pretty sure he's very disappointed in me right now."</p><p>Jeno laughed along.</p><p>"I'll help you out. We could brainstorm ideas until Jaemin wakes up."</p><p>"Really? Wow, I-I don't deserve you at all."</p><p>"You do. And can I just say your blue sweater looks good on you? And your white beret too. Woah, seriously. They compliment each other."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After Jaemin recovered from fatigue a year ago, he and Donghyuck talked it out, tired of hearing Jeno's nags, howbeit the two of them were still drifted apart. They talked more comfortably, but not that comfortably just yet. They would greet each other, but not like they did back in the old days. They would wave instead of hugging, say phrases rather than sentences, doing the bare minimum igniting a spark of Jeno's lunacy.</p><p>They were just in the process of mending the pieces of their friendship, was Jeno's reason. He argued that as time went by, it was guaranteed their friendship would become like no others’ again.</p><p>It was taking a while though.</p><p>Eventually, Donghyuck found the courage to tell Yangyang the reason why he didn't show up for their date. He told it in person, even the more awkwardness crawling through the layers of his skin to the point he just wanted to disappear, for the ground to swallow him whole, or to be blasted off to the moon and bury his own bones there.</p><p>Then Yangyang smiled. He wasn't mad, but Donghyuck could see the saddened look in his eyes.</p><p>There were zero signs of frustration or an unforgiving soul. Nothing. Yangyang's smile was still there when Donghyuck turned to look.</p><p>"It's okay. I'm sure it was urgent." Was all he said before taking a sip of his iced coffee.</p><p>Donghyuck didn't know why, but he felt even more guilty.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Eleven years ago, they made it to their fourth year. And when everybody thinks about senior year, what else is in their mind?</p><p>Stress. Or death, for lack of better words.</p><p>Projects were assigned here and there. Almost all boxes of dates on their calendar were filled with dues marked in red. More money was spent on their electricity bills to keep their Wi-Fi connection alive, coffee to keep them awake, and food to keep their bodies fueled and sustained.</p><p>But, just like any other human being, a body has its limits. The school took a toll on one body, on an entire student body, but Donghyuck often forgot he was not the only student suffering from anxiety three weeks before exam season.</p><p>"I can't believe I'm about to say this, which technically I haven't said at all my whole life," Donghyuck told Yangyang one day at the music room where they spent their lunch break together, peering out the window to watch a baseball varsity practice. "But I hate studying. I really do. I just haven't realized it before that studying could kill you."</p><p>"Good to know you've figured that out. And if it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one thinking of that."</p><p>"Yeah. Except for the teachers. Do they ever think about students’ mental and physical health at all? Jaemin and I are having Wi-Fi troubles, and we had to take four hours on research about some stupid Trojan horses."</p><p>They joked around more until the bell rang. Yangyang wished Donghyuck good luck on his project presentation for Social Studies seconds before they split up in the middle of the hallways, ready to head to their respective classes.</p><p>Yangyang was right. He wasn't the only one thinking about how lethal the education system was. In fact, the guy passed out on the floor of their apartment unit sometime after school hours was.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck found Jaemin there on the frigid floor, his face planted on a tile. He was still on his school clothes, though Donghyuck wasn't in the least fazed about that.</p><p>"Jeez, couldn't you at least change before taking a nap?" Donghyuck put down his tote bag on the kitchen counter and shook Jaemin awake. "C'mon, wake up. You have homework in Algebra to work on."</p><p>"Mm," Jaemin whined, barely opening his eyes as Donghyuck dragged him to the couch. "Fuck that, maaaaan."</p><p>"It's due tomorrow."</p><p>"Sheez, why did you have to bring that up?"</p><p>"To remind you, what else? I only have a few homework due tomorrow, so I think I can manage. Do you want me to do some of your homework for you?"</p><p>"You don't have to do that."</p><p>"But I want to. Look at yourself in the mirror, you've gotten so skinny ever since the first day of school started. If your dad saw you, he'll have a heart attack."</p><p>"Oh god," Jaemin took in a deep breath. "Oh god, 'Hyuck, oh god. I don’t know how to pay you back."</p><p>"Let's be best friends again. That's all I want us to do."</p><p>“Eh?”</p><p>“I think it was my mom who told me this before she died. She said whenever you're fighting with someone, it's not you versus that person. It's both of you versus the problem.” Donghyuck uttered. “Which means it’s not me versus you. It’s us versus the problem.”</p><p>Jaemin didn't need to ask. He knew immediately what the other meant. Putting the past behind them, forgetting about the awkward encounters, and the heavy tension during those nights. And not to forget the feeling of being distant to each other, of which all would be gone if they just spared a minute to clear their misunderstandings.</p><p>And that feeling of being in the same room as each other, feeling unwelcomed and unwanted. Awkward and tense, a common reason for their stiff shoulders and postures. There were days Donghyuck thanked his own fate for not putting him in the same classroom as Jaemin.</p><p>"'Hyuck, my bestie," Jaemin said in a flirty tone. "You are a heaven-sent angel."</p><p>"No." Donghyuck held an index finger up. "Just, no. It's too early in our making up progress for you to be this flirty."</p><p>"Awwww, you’re so cute, I wish I could hike Mount Everest for you!"</p><p>"Mount Everest is littered with dead bodies. Don't be ridiculous," Donghyuck narrowed his brows. "Wait, are you drunk?"</p><p>"No, why would I be?"</p><p>"Oh. Well, are you high on caffeine?"</p><p>"Okay, that, I can admit. And where did you buy that fire Michael Jackson shirt?"</p><p>Donghyuck pressed his lips. He already knew how much Hot Americano Jaemin had consumed that day. The reduced number of their coffee sachets hidden away in the kitchen cupboard was a dead giveaway.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Thirteen years ago, senior year gave them the emotional stress they never thought was real. They would crawl back and cry to each other's arms when no other moral support was accessible. They spent more meals together if not at school, where they were spending time with their other best friends, and tried domestic activities to heal their unmotivated spirits.</p><p>They cooked, did groceries, cleaned the house for once, and forgot about upcoming school-related works for a good while.</p><p>No one slept on the couch anymore. They shared the same bed again, just like they did back then when they were kids and teens, when they were only growing up to live up to their potential.</p><p>At least twice a week one of them would fall apart, crack and be willing to explode. Donghyuck was the first to crumble.</p><p>He had a stressful day. There wasn't an hour on that day where no unfortunate event happened to him.</p><p>It was a panic attack. One that unfolded in the kitchen, to which Jaemin pulled him away from the counter and sat him down in the living room.</p><p>Jaemin was alarmed as soon as he noticed Donghyuck's irregular breathing pattern, so he took no more than a minute to fetch a glass of water. Donghyuck accepted the gesture and managed to calm down by a mere percent.</p><p>The room was braced that of quietude. Jaemin could barely stand how the silence was apparently that loud, until Donghyuck erupted into laughter.</p><p>A burst of maniacal laughter.</p><p>Jaemin didn't say anything, but he did want to say out loud, <em>what the fuck</em>? He was freaked out, and Donghyuck's sudden shift in his mood from outward guffawing to poker-faced made Jaemin want to slither under the sofa and vanish from the world.</p><p>"You know," Donghyuck croaked. "Sometimes I'd think to myself and voice my thoughts out. Then I'd tell myself, 'oh, my life is just a string of bad life decisions with musical theatre soundtracks playing in the background'."</p><p>A slap.</p><p>"Listen, 'Hyuck, every bad life decisions you made had led you to this point." Jaemin shook Donghyuck, not letting go of his death grip on the his shoulders. "You're still alive. You're still here, with me."</p><p>"Ugh. I both love and hate it when you say that."</p><p>"'It's time for you to start reminding yourself every day that I won't leave you ever again. And when you need any comfort, I'm always here. Remember that."</p><p>"Ugh. You're such a sweetheart."</p><p>Jaemin ignored him, pulling the now half-asleep Donghyuck playfully by his feet to bring him into their room.</p><p>“Oh my god, 'Hyuck, you stink! Can't you take a bath?”</p><p>“Sorry not sorry, it’s in my nature not to shower every day.”</p><p>“Glad to know you know, but guess what? You’ve been like this since we were kids. You have to stop this habit. It’s becoming one of my pet peeves.”</p><p>“Damn it, Jaem, just stop smelling me so you won’t know if I showered or not, yeah?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“It’ll save us money for laundry.”</p><p>Despite the harmful memories of that day that made a dent on Donghyuck's mentality, he managed to get the beauty sleep he knew he deserved. Maybe it was because Jaemin was by his side, maybe not.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"We made it," Jaemin stared at the calendar. "We made it past exams. We really made it."</p><p>"And that's exactly why we don't need these bitches anymore."</p><p>By the time Jaemin turned around, Donghyuck had thrown their notes into the air, their sticky notes of daily reminders, important keywords, and due deadlines included. Jaemin ran to his get a few more things from his desk, including his graded assessments and make-up tests to climb up back to the top of his classes. He threw all the papers away and created a massive storm of paper in their bedroom.</p><p>For once, they felt like the only people in the world. Carefree, without an ounce of care left for the people out there. Just the two of them simply overjoyed at the fact that they survived the most hellish week of the first part of their senior year.</p><p>"We made it!"</p><p>Jaemin hopped onto their bed. He ended up jumping onto Donghyuck, clinging onto him like a koala. It took a while for the latter to balance himself with his best friend weighing him down.</p><p>"Dad, we made it!" Jaemin cheered as if Yuta would hear them all the way from the countryside. "Hyuck and I made it!"</p><p>Their notes that were once piled up neatly were now scattered everywhere on their bed and on the floor. Some might have even flown out of the window that was left open. The two of them leaned against the headboard and stayed like that for a little while, Jaemin refusing to detach himself from his best friend. Their room was a mess, but they didn't care. They'll clean it up later or never at all.</p><p>The only thing that mattered at that moment was the beating of their hearts being the only sound in the room, the streaks of Jaemin's hair bathing in the golden rays of the rising sun.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>To celebrate their survival like soldiers making it alive through a war, they decided to go and try out restaurant food.</p><p>"You know, this is the first time we're actually eating outside," Donghyuck said. "And we're about to spend money. Are you sure our budget will be enough?"</p><p>"I survived a math examination, how else would I know how to manage our budget?" Jaemin smirked. "Trust me. Dad and our neighbors sent us enough more money. They would be devastated if they learned we never ate outside, so let this be our once in a lifetime chance."</p><p>They've been wanting to eat grilled meat since the weather was great, and so was their opportunity to walk around the city. They strolled at the bank of Hanggang river, biked around a park, and purchased new clothes. It would be a terrible lie if they said they didn't have fun that day.</p><p>They walked into a local restaurant that night, a few steps away from acquiring the grilled meat they've been craving for. They sat down first, and when a waitress approached them, Donghyuck took charge of ordering. Ending their day with filled stomachs would be a great idea.</p><p>"We'd like one portion of meat. We'll share."</p><p>"We don't sell such portion here," said the waitress.</p><p>"Ah, you don't?"</p><p>"Oh, I'm sorry," Donghyuck apologized. "We didn't know that. We'll go now."</p><p>Just as they were about to leave, a voice called out from one of the tables. It belonged to a man who looked younger than them, sitting alone with an entire set of meat laid out in front of him.</p><p>"Hey! Come here."</p><p>Jaemin looked behind to see if there was someone else in their direction. He found no one. Donghyuck, perplexed, patted himself on the chest and asked, "me? I mean– Us?"</p><p>"Yes, both of you. Sit down," the man gestured to the empty seats. "You can eat with me, but you can pay for your meals if you want. You can't order one portion over there, but here you can."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I'm Jaemin, he's Donghyuck. We've been best friends for so long that sometimes I forget he's not my brother."</p><p>"So you're like nonbiological brothers? That’s so cool. Are you foreigners?"</p><p>"No," Jaemin and Donghyuck said in unison. "We're country bumpkins, to be honest, but we've been living here for around four years now. This is actually our first time eating outside."</p><p>"Oh, so that's why! You two looked so confused about the portion," the man giggled. "Anyways, nice to meet you, Jaemin hyung and Donghyuck hyung! Woah, I have two new older friends now. To tell you the truth, I don't have a lot of them."</p><p>"Oh, don't you worry, you'll find more friends in the future. I mean, how would you not with that friendly trait?"</p><p>"I agree with Jaemin, and it's nice to meet you too. I love your cardigan, it suits you," Donghyuck smiled at him as he reached for the lettuce. "By the way, what's your name?"</p><p>"Oh, I'm Zhong Chenle! I'm a sophomore, and honestly, I can pay your meals for you. I won't mind."</p><p>"Oh no no no, we'll pay for them ourselves," Donghyuck wagged a hand. "Our dad will be mad if he found out we're not spending our money on food."</p><p><em>This kid is rich</em>, Jaemin thought. Something in his mind told him that he had heard that name before.</p><p>"Wait, are you Zhong Chenle as in the boy who has the biggest house in town?"</p><p>"Uh, yeah?" Chenle replied. "I don't like to brag about it too much though."</p><p>Jaemin ignored the second part of his statement. "Are you the one who threw the Halloween frat party two years ago?"</p><p>"Oh, that? Yes, that was me. That party happened at my house. Why?"</p><p>Donghyuck froze in the middle of chewing his grilled beef. He didn't care about Chenle or that Halloween party they ditched. The only thing spiraling in his mind was that one memory he once tried to drill towards the back of his head.</p><p>"Nothing, I just randomly remembered," Jaemin shrugged his shoulders, flipping more meat on the grill. "Donghyuck and I were supposed to go to that party too, but something came up."</p><p>Donghyuck wanted to laugh. Something came up meant they rode the train going round and round the whole night they got off a station near Gangnam and had to use Google Maps to find their way back to their apartment with phone batteries running low. All those setbacks and yet it became the best Halloween night Donghyuck ever had.</p><p>“I’m glad you didn’t. Someone called the cops and college kids were busted and arrested for possession. It felt like my house became a site for a crime scene.”</p><p>Chenle talked to them about trivial matters, but that was what made them new friends to someone two years younger than them. They felt comfortable with him. Chenle's aura was welcoming and not at all standoffish, so they were open and felt a little bit extroverted.</p><p>"So you're really just best friends?"</p><p>"Yes, we are," Jaemin said. "Why do you ask?"</p><p>"Nothing. I just wished there was something more than best friends between the two of you."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They ended up paying for dinner despite Chenle continuously insisting. They took the ride home by bus, Donghyuck almost falling asleep that he hadn't realized he was consistently trying to lean onto Jaemin's broad shoulder.</p><p>"Are you sleepy?" Jaemin asked as soon as the elevators closed with just the two of them inside. It was nine in the evening. "You had fourteen hours of sleep last night, how could you feel sleepy right now?"</p><p>"I don't know why I'm tired either. Maybe it's because of exams. I barely slept during the week."</p><p>"Why do you keep overworking yourself so much?"</p><p>"Huh? That's supposed to be the question I should've asked you a year ago," Donghyuck retorted. "You kept pretending you were okay when you weren't. Just so you know, you suck at pretending."</p><p>"Whatever. At least I don't do it anymore."</p><p>The elevator doors opened. They stepped out and headed to their unit. Jaemin opened the door with their key and gestured for Donghyuck to come in first. Donghyuck turned on the lights and removed his shoes before making a beeline towards their room. Jaemin closed the door.</p><p>Donghyuck bounced onto the bed, the hood of his jacket hitting on the back of his head. Jaemin placed his backpack on the foot of their bed and took off his cap, prompting his hair to be tousled.</p><p>"I'll just take a shower."</p><p>Before Jaemin could exit the room, Donghyuck grabbed him by the hand and pulled him to their bed.</p><p>"Don't leave me again."</p><p>"I won't," Jaemin assured him. "I'm just going to shower. Do you want to come with me?"</p><p>"Let's shower later. Sit here with me."</p><p>Donghyuck patted the spot beside him. Jaemin didn't waste a second to sit beside him, resting their backs against the cushioned headboard.</p><p>They sat there in silence. This time, Jaemin leaned onto Donghyuck's shoulder, rubbing his sock-wearing feet against each other to withstand the cold. He stared at the abstract art hung on the wall, the art Jaemin seemed to have received from Jeno on his twentieth birthday. It was a painting of a man formed by molecules and a DNA print, the vivid colors signifying the bright success brought to life by a meager human being.</p><p>"Is Jeno into Molecular Biology too?" Donghyuck questioned. "I thought he only liked Chemistry."</p><p>"No, he isn't. But he must've heard me saying 'this is fascinating' during Biology class. What he doesn't know is I gave up after Chapter 7."</p><p>"You know, the two of you would present some awesome biochem discoveries someday if you worked together."</p><p>"You wish," Jaemin shook his head. "That's not gonna happen."</p><p>"I'm just saying it's cool."</p><p>Jaemin drew closer to Donghyuck, shifting his position on the bed. He laughed out of nowhere, much to Donghyuck's bafflement.</p><p>"What's wrong?"</p><p>"Nothing. It's just... I remembered the day we skipped classes just because you cried about Mark." Jaemin wheezed. "You were heartbroken. You couldn't help it, neither did I."</p><p>Donghyuck felt his heart plunge to the sky. This feeling towards Jaemin was supposed to be unreal, to cease to exist, and yet it was there, evocatively existing within his every frame of mind.</p><p>"You okay, 'Hyuck?"</p><p>"Yeah," Donghyuck giggled. He leaned against Jaemin's shoulder. "Definitely okay."</p><p>One thing was for sure; his love for Jaemin cut him like barbed wire.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Why are you smiling?"</p><p>That was the first question Jeno asked Jaemin during lunch break. Jaemin swallowed a chunk of his bulgogi.</p><p>"Why? Do I look ridiculous?"</p><p>"Nothing, and definitely not looking ridiculous. It's just that, you've been smiling almost all day, and there has not been a lecture where you're not spacing out."</p><p>"Ohhh, have I been daydreaming? Maybe I was daydreaming."</p><p>"Mr. Chul literally had to yell at you!"</p><p>"Did he? I don't know, I already forgot what happened."</p><p>Jeno cringed. "You're a terrible liar. Did something happen yesterday?"</p><p>"Do I have to tell you what happened?" Jaemin scrunched his nose before chewing on his rice. "I can't tell if you'd be surprised or not."</p><p>"Hey, I'm really curious. Just tell me what it is."</p><p>Jaemin sighed. He placed down his chopsticks and crossed his arms, staring at Jeno straight to his eyes.</p><p>"It's about Donghyuck."</p><p>Jeno gasped, almost choking on the spice of his curry.</p><p>"What happened?"</p><p>"We went out. We walked around the city, went to Hanggang river, and even ate at a restaurant and met a rich kid. We had fun. All of that happened within the span of six hours, and it was one of the most memorable days of my life, probably because we never did it before."</p><p>"Woah," Jeno gawked. "You sleep and shower together yet this is the first time you ever explored the city together? I expected something bigger from you."</p><p>"What do you know? We're busy people too. Besides, it was a way to treat ourselves for surviving exam season. You know what that means? We were celebrating!"</p><p>Jeno scornfully cackled at Jaemin's poor attempt at retaliation and finished off his last spoon of rice. It just so happened that at the same time, Jaemin saw Mark and Renjun being touchy at the queue, and <em>god</em> did he want not one more depressed Jeno to ruin his day.</p><p>Jeno stood up. "I'm gonna get more rice."</p><p>"Wait, no!" Jaemin's fast reflexes had him snatching Jeno's wrist despite being on the other side of the table. "Here, I'll give you my rice."</p><p>"Woah. Thanks," Jeno said, a bit taken aback. He sat back down. "Why are you doing this?"</p><p>Jaemin dissolved into laughter.</p><p>"Don't leave me, man. The cafeteria is packed, you see? You'll get squeezed in."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>In the meantime, the music room was filled with melodies being sung by two different instruments in harmony. Donghyuck, as an accompanist by practice, played the keys as the notes faded into the air, barely missing a bar on all pages of the composition. He caught up to Yangyang's playing, which was a little bit faster than normal, but Donghyuck could make his playing sound like the original one and cover up his little to no mistakes.</p><p>"You should really be my accompanist! We can perform a duet together. You've only been playing piano for four years, but now you're a prodigy!" Yangyang exclaimed, putting away his violin into its case. "Do you want to go to Germany and perform at a Gala Competition with me? I haven't found an accompanist yet, but I presumed you'd be the best option."</p><p>"I'm flattered," Donghyuck giggled. "But I can't even play Liszt yet. And did you just say you're going to Germany?"</p><p>"Yeah, next month. I'll skip a week of the final semester. I already got permission from the Dean."</p><p>"Oh, is that so? I'm sorry, 'Yang, but I don't think I can come with you. I don't have enough money."</p><p>"Ah, that? My mom will provide for both of us. I’m Taiwanese, but Düsseldorf is actually my hometown. I grew up there, and I kind of wanted you to come with me and check out the city."</p><p>"'Yang," Donghyuck called. "I have stage fright. And no passport."</p><p>"Oh," Yangyang breathed. "Oh. I didn't know that. I'm sorry."</p><p>"I would love to go with you, but... I have a life here in Seoul. My guardian a.k.a. My best friend’s dad in the province will worry to death if he found out, and Jaemin wouldn't know how to explain things to him."</p><p>"It's okay, I understand. I can always find another accompanist. Here, let's eat lunch."</p><p>Before Donghyuck realized it, Yangyang had set his and Donghyuck's sushi meal on a mat the whole time they were talking as if they were in for an indoor picnic. Yangyang ate first. Donghyuck joined him on the floor, unwrapping a bowl of rice and picking up his chopsticks.</p><p>They idle chattered for longer than expected. The music room was filled with laughter as they ate their meals, chattering about their teachers, plans after graduation, and even the musical composers they idolized who all had depression.</p><p>"I haven't said this before, but you're the cherry to my sundae. Would you like to go on another date with me?"</p><p>Donghyuck wanted to scream, but the words he wanted to say were stuck at the tip of his tongue. Donghyuck put his chopsticks down on his bowl and wiped his mouth with a napkin, clearing his throat.</p><p>"Everyone has been telling me that you're crushing on me so... Is it true?"</p><p>"That I like you? Yes, it's true, I won't even deny anything. But it's okay if you don't like me back. I just prefer it if you make your decision now, but of course, you can always take your time."</p><p>Donghyuck was in no position to object against Yangyang because he was right. Yangyang was right, having implied that it was better to say it now than stall.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, b-but I think I... I love someone else."</p><p>"Mhm. I kind of figured when you ditched our date back then. You must've really cared a lot for that someone," Yangyang pondered. The way he remained unbothered had Donghyuck freaked out by his straightforward personality. "Can you tell me who it is at least?"</p><p>"It's Jaemin."</p><p>Yangyang swallowed his sushi roll. When he kept silent, Donghyuck continued to prattle on.</p><p>"It's Jaemin, I have feelings for Jaemin. It's funny, right?" Donghyuck laughed, preserving his sanity. "I have feelings for my best friend, the one I’ve been with since we were eight-year-olds. I can't help but love him, even though I know damn well it might ruin our friendship."</p><p>Rather than being furious, Yangyang settled his bowl down and hugged him. The gesture provoked Donghyuck to let out a soft cry. His tears unknowingly flowed out, his cries muffled by Yangyang's fragrant sweater as he was pressed on the younger's chest. Yangyang's calm heartbeat and his own sniveling were the only mellow sound filling the room for the remaining time of lunch.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Twelve years ago, the final semester of their senior year soon came to an end. Their last high school year was over in a heartbeat. And the end isn't the end when there's no moving up ceremony.</p><p>"I can't believe we're graduating," Donghyuck gasped. He adjusted his hat, still staring at himself in the mirror. "We're graduating, we really are graduating."</p><p>"Yeah, knock me with a feather," said Jaemin. "You've been fixing your hat for an hour. Let's go!"</p><p>It took Jaemin ten coaxings to get Donghyuck going and pull him away from the bathroom mirror, having convinced him that they would miss the bus if they didn't go now.</p><p>Fortunately, they managed to arrive at school in time, ready for the ceremony to commence. Donghyuck got on top of the stage for the first time, accompanied by Yangyang's mother, claiming his awards despite his irritational fright. He stood there above the audience, with bouquets and the fruits of his persistence. Jaemin took out his phone to snap a thousand pictures of him, probably to post them on social media later on if he wanted to. It was the same for Jaemin, to retrieve his achievements, except he was accompanied by Jeno's cherubic mother, even though he was extremely shy to be held close by her.</p><p>It had been a memorable event, something that would stick to their remembrance as time passed by. And on top of it all, they were part of the honorable lists despite agonizing over workload to kill time.</p><p>"I'm not surprised Jeno graduated as first honor, I mean, how could he not cry over deadlines? He's not human. He's a bot."</p><p>"How would you know he doesn't cry?"</p><p>"I've been to his house so many times I will always know at one glance if he's been crying or not. And his mom once suggested to addopt me, and I almost said yes in panic," Jaemin said. "Speaking of his mom, did you see how she was fondling me while we were walking on the aisle? She's so affectionate it makes me uncomfortable sometimes. And what Jeno said to me about her was 'don't worry, she's normally like that to my friends. It just means she loves you a lot.'"</p><p>"I reckon you're right," Donghyuck recoiled. "Look over there. She's taking too many pictures of him on stage."</p><p>Their 'observing Jeno and his mother' session lasted only until an audible voice from the third row seats called a name.</p><p>"Donghyuck! Over here!"</p><p>Jaemin patted Donghyuck at the back. Even then, he was smiling, clearly bearing no ounce of jealousy or hatred towards Yangyang.</p><p>"Go. I'll take pictures with Jeno."</p><p>As Jaemin mingled through the crowd to head to Jeno, Donghyuck waved and approached Yangyang before sitting next to him. Yangyang took out something wrapped in a recycled newspaper and handed it to the other. Donghyuck unfolded it, slowly, uncertainty creeping into his guts.</p><p>"What's this?"</p><p>"A graduation gift. My graduation gift to you."</p><p>It was a jaw-dropper gift.</p><p>"Oh wow."</p><p>It was a Burberry Check fanny pack. It didn't suit Donghyuck's taste, not at all, but it was something that could remind him of Yangyang and his erratic fashion sense.</p><p>"I'm giving this to you since it's the trend nowadays. I've seen you look at people on the streets and observe how they dress, and I always assumed you're pretty sharp about fashion."</p><p>Donghyuck may look like he was exaggerating his reaction, but no, it wasn't an exaggeration. He took the fashion accessory into his hands, holding it with much gentle care. He stroked the fabric as if to glorify it.</p><p>"You, Liu Yangyang, are a blessing to this world."</p><p>"Anything for you."</p><p>"I have a gift for you too!" Donghyuck brought up. He stood up to snatch his bag from the other side of the stage, unearthing a flat, box-shaped item as he skipped back to the third row seats. "I searched every record store to find it. I think it took me seven stores."</p><p>"You–" Yangyang stared the vinyl intently. "How did you know I wanted Chopin’s Nocturnes?"</p><p>"At some point in our duets playing some of them, you may have told me that no one in your family would buy you a copy of it for Christmas."</p><p>"But this is expensive. Where did you get the money?"</p><p>"I have part-time jobs to save money."</p><p>"Don't you have rent to worry about?"</p><p>"Our landlord is so generous we do not ever worry about rent," Donghyuck said. "Jaemin and I are financially fine. Don't worry about us."</p><p>"Thank you, oh god, thank you so much."</p><p>"That's for being a great friend. And have I ever mentioned that I don't deserve you at all?"</p><p>"Hyuck!" Jaemin shouted from about ten meters away, standing next to Jeno's mother. "Mrs. Lee is calling for you!"</p><p>"Okay! I'll be there!" Donghyuck shouted back, then assuring Yangyang with a soft pat on the thigh. "You can wait, right?"</p><p>"Absolutely," Yangyang said. "I don't mind."</p><p>With Donghyuck heading towards Jeno and his anticipating mother, Yangyang happened to lay his eyes on Jaemin, who was sitting on the front row, waiting for Jeno and Donghyuck to get finished with the expectant mother. And without hesitating, he blended into the flock of their fellow graduates so as to not be noticed by Jaemin, planting himself next to him.</p><p>Jaemin looked amused and befogged at the same time.</p><p>"Hey, I'm Yangyang."</p><p>"Oh, yeah, I'm–"</p><p>"Jaemin, I know, we were in the same Trig class," Yangyang cut him short. "I heard a lot about you from Donghyuck. You're really an amazing person, I wish I could be like you."</p><p>"Thanks. I suppose you're cool too. Thank you for helping Donghyuck get through all those tough years."</p><p>"Don't mention it."</p><p>Yangyang's abashed self was starting to resurface. His last resort was to laugh it off.</p><p>"Funny, right?"</p><p>Jaemin raised an eyebrow, "what is?"</p><p>"The fact that we first talked today, on graduation, out of all high school days."</p><p>"Oh– Uh, it happens. I never approached you because I didn't want you to get a wrong impression of me, you know, as a friend, so I hope you don't get the wrong idea. And if you need any cheering up, just know that Guanheng in my Lit class has a crush on you."</p><p>"Really? Wow, I'm friends with him, but I didn't know about that."</p><p>Jaemin nodded at Yangyang and pointed to the corner with a genuine smile.</p><p>"I'll just go to the bathroom."</p><p>By the time Jaemin was out of earshot, Yangyang paid heed to Donghyuck drinking his boba tea at the edge of the stage, where he'd gone to after being dragged to Jeno's mother's photoshoot (Jeno might've given him that boba tea for free, or his mother did). Yangyang sat next to him at the edge, drawing attention from Donghyuck, and whispered to his ear.</p><p>"Hey, can I ask you something?"</p><p>"Fire away."</p><p>"When will you confess to Jaemin?"</p><p>"Eh?" Donghyuck blinked. No. This wasn’t what he should be hearing. "I-I don't know, I don't want to ruin our friendship again. I don't want a repeat of second to third years."</p><p>"Then let me change the question. Why won't you confess to him?"</p><p>"I... Uh, don't say this to anyone, okay?"</p><p>Yangyang eagerly nodded, his lips curled in curiosity.</p><p>"Three years ago, I may or may not have overheard him talking to his dad that he's gay, for me," Donghyuck said in a hushed tone. "He said he'll experiment with himself, and I don't know if he really had done that because I'm not his FBI agent or something. Even as his best friend, I am not capable of monitoring his every movement and snooping through his privacy. So I'll give it a little more time, yeah?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Startled, Donghyuck flinched back while Yangyang pulled him up by the sleeve to prevent him from falling off the stage. Jeno was there, ears peeked in between them. He looked puzzled just as Yangyang was.</p><p>"Jesus Christ. How much did you hear?"</p><p>"Everything," Jeno gasped as if he too couldn't believe himself. "You've been friends for over ten years, correct? If you have feelings for each other, why not be official now?"</p><p>"I'm telling you, I don't want to disrupt Jaemin's experimentation about his sexuality! Listen, guys, this is actually a big deal! It's a big part of his life that he's undergoing as an adult, just like us!"</p><p>"Then we got a good friend in you," Yangyang's eyes turned crescents, smiling. "I'm glad someone like you exists."</p><p>"Pray tell?"</p><p>"You respect privacy. I hate people who don't."</p><p>"Oh. Give me a high five."</p><p>Jeno narrowed his brows. "I hate those people too, so don't leave me out."</p><p>The other two eyeballed at Jeno for a good while, then to each other, before bursting into laughter. Another thing to add to Jeno's pet peeves list.</p><p>"You two are so annoying for people with almost no brain cells," Jeno grumbled. "Hey, Jaemin's childhood friend, can I ask you something?"</p><p>"Boy, I have a name and it's Donghyuck."</p><p>"I'll take that as a yes. Can you and Jaemin become a couple before the year ends?"</p><p>Donghyuck rolled his eyes.</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Please? As a present to me becoming a freshman?"</p><p>"You're literally being admitted to college unlike us, so shut up," Yangyang contended. "Can't you see you're making him uncomfortable?"</p><p>"Back to normal, please, back to normal," Donghyuck begged. "Act normal for God's sake or I'll slit your throats."</p><p>Jaemin came into view among the sea of parents and graduates in their batch. He was smiling from ear to ear, bowing to elders left and right and telling them warm greetings about their children's staunchness and other worth-mentioning traits. Jeno, for the umpteenth time that day, cringed.</p><p>"I can't tell if he's showing off or he's just that nice."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They were roaming around the shopping streets of Hongdae in the middle of the scorching time of noon. Donghyuck had several shopping bags hanging from his shoulders to his wrists compared to Jaemin only having one.</p><p>"Don't be a hoarder, man," Jaemin grumped. "Or else we're gonna come home with no money."</p><p>"I can't hear you," Donghyuck grasped the other's hand and dragged him inside another clothing store. "We haven't bought an outfit for our job interviews. I'm sure we'll find something here."</p><p>As Donghyuck was raking his fingers through the hangers and racks, Jaemin stood by his side, sighing.</p><p>"Speaking of job interviews, Jeno has told me over and over again that resumes are important, which makes me doubt us. What would we put in our resumes? Farm boys? Milkmen? What?"</p><p>"What if we ask Yangyang to recommend us? He comes from a powerful family, I’m sure he has a lot of connections."</p><p>"'Hyuck, we're graduates now, not to mention adults, and you're still relying on him for help?"</p><p>"Hey, what would we do? At this rate, no one would accept us even if we begged them for mercy and told them we need to bring money home for our poor, aged dad."</p><p>"No," Jaemin shook his head. "Trust me, we can get our dream jobs by being ourselves."</p><p>"What's your dream job?"</p><p>"Sous chef. You?"</p><p>"Uhh," Donghyuck sighed. "I think I want to work at a fashion center."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I searched it up online, and those who work in the kitchen have an average sense of fashion. But you have to wear an apron and things that make you look hygienic. Chefs might think you're a shoddy person if they saw you walk into their restaurant with an awful fashion sense especially the manager. Managers are picky, I heard. What if they think you're no fit for a kitchen job because the way you dress is unsatisfactory to them?"</p><p>"You know, you're really not good at explaining things, so I didn't understand a single word you just said."</p><p>"Oopsie, denial alert."</p><p>"None of what you said makes sense."</p><p>"It would if you were smarter. Anyway, I think you should wear black pants. Then for your top, you should wear a white shirt, then this brown jacket. Wear your white rubber shoes. They'll think you're casual and has a simple sense of fashion, and they wouldn't mind as long as you do well in the kitchen."</p><p>Donghyuck prompted Jaemin to wear the brown jacket, propping him in front of the body mirror. Jaemin crossed his arms.</p><p>"Stop telling me I won't do well. I always do well no matter what."</p><p>"Have you thought of what recipe to present?"</p><p>"No. I'll cook right there on the spot. They sent me a message telling me to use spontaneous ingredients in their kitchen, which I won't know until I see them for myself. Tough job, eh?"</p><p>"It's a fancy restaurant in the middle of a street filled with pubs, what would you expect?"</p><p>"I can do it. I know I can. I've cooked Skillet Cod with Lemon and Capers for you before, and Weeknight Coq au Vin for Jeno's birthday. What can I not do?"</p><p>Donghyuck fondly smiled, caressing Jaemin's back.</p><p>"That's the spirit."</p><p>Jaemin smiled back through the mirror. Donghyuck was on his way to the closet to choose his own outfit for the day when his phone rang atop their night desk.</p><p>Jaemin pulled out his own phone to keep himself busy, probably to take a mirror selfie. Donghyuck leaned on the windowsill and placed his phone next to his ear, looking much jollier upon seeing the caller I.D.</p><p>"Heyyy, 'Yang! How are you?"</p><p>"<em>Hellooo! I'm fine, I'm back home in Germany. I saw my siblings again and they're playing hide and seek with me. I shouldn't be calling you right now, but I wanted to. My youngest brother hasn’t found me yet.</em>"</p><p>"That's good to hear! You should introduce me to your siblings someday though. Did you win that competition a month ago?"</p><p>"<em>Of course I did! I placed first.</em>"</p><p>"Really? That's great! Did you get a job already? Well, who am I kidding? You have so much potential."</p><p>"<em>Ahahaha, thank you, and yeah! I'm teaching kids how to play the piano and violin. Then I'll take over my dad's modeling company after my birthday.</em>"</p><p>"That's months from now," Donghyuck said. “I bet I’m more excited than you are!"</p><p>A giggle was heard from the other line. "<em>Thanks. What about you? Tell me if you haven't. I can always help, you know.</em>"</p><p>"Uh, actually, I have a job interview later."</p><p>"<em>Really? Am I interrupting your preparation time?</em>"</p><p><em>Yes, he is,</em> Jaemin mouthed at him, gesturing to Donghyuck to cut off the call. <em>He. Is.</em></p><p>"No, not at all. In fact, I'm already dressed up."</p><p>"<em>Woooah, good luck! I'm sure you'll get the job. I'm happy for you. May I ask what job is it? Is it related to fashion–?</em>"</p><p>Jaemin had snatched Donghyuck's phone away from his ear before the latter even noticed, thumbing on the unpressed button. He pocketed the phone into his jacket and whistled.</p><p>"Hey!" Donghyuck chided. "Give back my phone this instant!"</p><p>"Not until you get all dressed up for real this time. And Yangyang is just a music teacher. When else would he be teaching? Summer?” Jaemin ridiculed. “Jeno is in college studying his ass off to get that BS in Chemical Engineering. Compared to the three of us, Jeno’s bank accounts have the most potential to be worthy of gold."</p><p>"You got it all wrong. Yangyang is thriving. I'm sure he’s making a lot of money each breath we take."</p><p>"Yangyang here, Yangyang there, can you shut up?"</p><p>"You're just jealous. And why are we fighting over whose friend is better? Are we high?"</p><p>"Jealous and high, my foot," Jaemin rolled his eyes. "I already told him that Guanheng has a crush on him back on graduation day. Why is he still leeching off you?"</p><p>"Oh, Jaeeeem, you outdated bastard," Donghyuck drawled on for dramatic effect. "Guanheng is in Germany too. You know what that means."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A few months earlier, Donghyuck was just a boy with no goals but to get a job. He thought he wouldn't get anywhere without a bachelor's degree and no entry to college. Now, he was making money as he sat on a swivel chair at the nineteenth floor of a company building, checking e-mails every day and sketching dresses and shoes with his afternoon tea resting on top of his stack of research books. Even if he ran out of paper for his drawings, he had the fashion designing software installed on his computer.</p><p>He was now a fashion designer. A busy, employed, and successful fashion designer.</p><p>He loved work. His passion was laid somewhere within the field, and submitting sketches to the company's reliable group of seamstresses was part of it. There were only two things he hated about work: his cold-blooded boss who cared about the company more than anything else and the fashion designer whose desk was across his, Ten.</p><p>Donghyuck didn't find out until he was one month into the company that the boss of their department was also the CEO of the entire fashion branch of their brand in Korea. He happened to hear it in the elevator from the photocopy guys, and he was unlucky enough to have Ten with him at that time. His reaction hadn't done him justice and Ten was fucking good at reading facial expressions. By the time they got out of the elevator, Donghyuck was blooming red, and Ten wouldn't stop laughing and teasing him about it even when they were back on their respective desks.</p><p>"Okay, I admit that I didn't know The Kim Dongyoung was the CEO, but how was I supposed to know when the CEO himself is always distant to everyone else? Does he hate people?"</p><p>"Yes, he hates people more than everyone hates Mondays, I'll tell you that," Ten popped a gum into his mouth. "I don't even know why you were hired. I'm sure it won't take longer than two months for him to hate you and consider firing you."</p><p>"Uh huh, first of all, watch me prove you wrong someday, and second, how would you know that?"</p><p>"We went to the same middle school and high school. I know him more than anyone else and guess what? He hates lousy children like you."</p><p>Donghyuck seemed more intrigued at the implied friendship between them than being called lousy by the devil himself.</p><p>"Wait, so you two are close friends?"</p><p>"No," Ten recoiled. "He hates me too, darling, just as much as I hate his guts."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The restaurant was packed. It was mildly quiet, yes, the conversations emanated by rich people over their fancy dishes mixing into the aromatic air of expensive wine. Classical music was being played through the vinyl player.</p><p>A few hours into the day, nothing changed. It was still packed, and orders from left to right were pending. They happened to be hapless that night since they were short on cooks– the others either have called in sick or were on a trip to Las Vegas to get wasted, and Jaemin had volunteered to cook four dishes at a time for a bonus payment.</p><p>Jungwoo's job as a waiter was done for the day the moment his fill-in guy arrived for his night shift. He unknotted the back of his black apron before removing his bowtie. He entered the back room, blinking when he heard something. An unfamiliar ringtone, was what.</p><p>It was coming from inside a bag, one of the bags dumped at the corner. The owner of it must have forgotten to turn their phone off.</p><p>Jungwoo opened his own bag to get change and go home early, waiting for the phone to stop ringing. The problem was it won't, it won't stop ringing even when Jungwoo had changed into his casual clothes, ready to catch the bus on the way home. He caught a glimpse of the bag and immediately knew who it belonged to. Sighing, he went out, walked towards the kitchen, and stayed by the door.</p><p>"Jaemin! Your phone keeps ringing!"</p><p>The said man seemed to have heard him despite being on the far end of the kitchen, his back facing Jungwoo.</p><p>"My hands are full. Can you get it for me? The pin code is 1419."</p><p>It didn't take long for Jungwoo to go back for his phone, then back to the kitchen. This time, he approached Jaemin, who won't even lift his head up to give him a look. Jungwoo glanced at his counter; there were eggs being fried on two different pans, most likely for two Braised Leeks with Mozzarella, while Jaemin's hands were delicately plating a Truffle Risotto cake.</p><p>"Who is it? Who’s calling?"</p><p>"Okay," Jungwoo unlocked his phone and scrolled through the notifications. "You have thirty-seven missed calls and a few messages from... Duckhead? He said it's urgent."</p><p>"Tell him I'll come home at 10. I'm busy."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>Jungwoo left the kitchen shortly after sending the message. Before putting the younger's phone back to his bag though, Jungwoo felt curious about Jaemin, the youngest one yet among them who had only been working in the kitchen for a few months. For only a few months, that short, and yet he had been given the nickname ‘gourmet king’ a few days into his attendance (so much for a newbie), so Jungwoo figured he could do a bit of snooping around.</p><p>Being nosy was his forte. The next time he gets Jaemin to open up to him and become another one of his few close friends, he'll ask who the guy he was with on his lockscreen was and why he had a whole photo album dedicated to him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin tried his best to stay quiet as possible as he could in entering the apartment, bearing in mind the assumption of Donghyuck already asleep at this hour. He was wrong. Donghyuck was fully awake. And watchful.</p><p>He was there on the sofa when Jaemin turned on the lights, giving him a heart attack. He was blanking out, staring at the coffee table occupied by his fashion magazines, barely fazed by Jaemin's presence. It was as if he had been sitting in the living room in the dark the whole time.</p><p>"Gosh, you startled me. I told you I was gonna go home at 10. Why aren't you asleep yet?"</p><p>"I waited because it’s important."</p><p>"What could be so important?"</p><p>"Listen to me, will you?" Donghyuck snapped. "Our landlord has died. We didn't know him that well, but we did know he was a good man."</p><p>"What–" Jaemin rubbed his forehead. "You could've just told me this in the morning! Shit, this will keep me awake for the whole night.”</p><p>“I know. But you have to calm down first.”</p><p>“Don't you know how bad his passing is for us? What about the one who'll replace him? Will he be as generous as the previous man? Will he? Where did you hear about it anyway?"</p><p>"From Yeri. She's moving out tomorrow."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Because the rent will increase."</p><p>"By?"</p><p>When Donghyuck didn't answer, Jaemin knew it was bad.</p><p>"Fuck."</p><p>Jaemin was stressed. All he wanted to do was eat ramen before going to bed. He hadn't eaten any lunch or dinner, having spent his entire day in the kitchen cooking meals meant to be served to their customers, and this is the news he gets as soon as he comes home?</p><p>"I– I don't have anything else to say. I'm whacked."</p><p>It was true. He had been since that dawn.</p><p>Jaemin stood there for a minute, unmoving and lips zipped tight. The flow of his breath was beginning to quicken, and the second Donghyuck noticed, he walked up to the younger and went for a hug.</p><p>"It's okay. We should be okay. You and I make money worth two racks of clothes in a thrift store a week, why wouldn't we be okay?"</p><p>"Yeah." Jaemin rasped. "Why wouldn't we?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ten liked to brag about his high-end fashion collection, but he even liked making Donghyuck his assistant more. Donghyuck's hatred for the man didn’t end there.</p><p>"None in my resume says something about selling my soul to the devil! Why should I draw for you while you chasse away wearing your Valentino sandals?"</p><p>"Honey, you already sold your soul to the devil the moment you stepped afoot here." Ten glanced at his watch, keeping his cool. Donghyuck chased after him as he scurried to the elevator. "I'll be late for my blind date. If you don't want to do this for my love life, then do it for money. Why can't you get that in your damn head?"</p><p>"Because I have a shit ton of work to do!" Donghyuck pointed at the pile of paperwork on his desk. "Does Mr. Kim know about this? You do know you're skipping work hours, right?"</p><p>"Even if he found out, I'll tell him there many other fashion designers on the palm of his hand as many as the credit cards he has."</p><p>Donghyuck ground his teeth, scrutinizing Ten's fur coat from Neiman Marcus. "If you hate each other so much, how come you are working for him since Day 1? I know you both love fashion, but one of you could've gone to a rival company and became warlords through that."</p><p>"Eh, you know how they pay here workers here. Godly salaries fueled by capitalism," Ten shrugged. The elevator doors opened and he stepped in, leaving Donghyuck standing outside in confusion. "And I have a different plan in mind. No one's becoming a warlord until I overthrow Doyoung and strip him of his position."</p><p>Ten winked at him before he put on his sunnies, and Donghyuck wanted to stop the elevator from closing and scream at his face so bad. Instead, he vented the anger raging within him by stomping back into their office, unearthing a superglue from his pocket (he carried it around all the time for an emergency, and that time had come). before proceeding to spill it over Ten's swivel chair.</p><p>Donghyuck found out not long ago that Ten had a favorite drawer. It was the one on the very bottom where he kept all his sex tapes with different guys. Donghyuck snatched the Amouage Bracken perfume sitting atop Ten's desk and uncapped it, emptying the bottle. It was childish, he knew, but it was the best one for now.</p><p>"He's not overthrowing anyone if he can't get rid of me first."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Listen, I'm not mad that you ruined my sex tapes since I can always record new ones–" Donghyuck made a face. "–And all those guys I laid were jerks, but how dare you empty that perfume bottle! And my pants from that day was a gift from Thom Browne himself! How <em>dare</em> you!"</p><p>"It was to make you sit down and face your desktop all day."</p><p>"You made me go to the cafeteria like a poor dude in a wheelchair!"</p><p>"I didn't know you weren't that smart. You know, you could've undone your pants and got off your chair and wore the emergency pants in your drawer. Oh wait, you have none. You dress like a walking bank all day yet you have no backup clothes in your office. Looks like high school kids are smarter than you because they keep extra clothes in their lockers."</p><p>"That doesn't matter. What matters is everyone in the company now thinks I'm crippled!"</p><p>"Well, you should be so you would sit down and do nothing but work instead of bossing people around!"</p><p>"What?" Ten recoiled. "Was it you who told the people not to accept orders from me? What did you do? Pay them?"</p><p>"I treated them to lunch. It was the best thing I've ever done. And I’m telling you, everyone else in the company is outgoing and hospitable, you're the only one who's not."</p><p>"Okay, 'Hyuck–"</p><p>"Hey, you're in no right place to call me that!" Donghyuck tore his eyes off his computer for once, only to glare at Ten. "Only my close friends call me that, and you don't deserve to be one of them."</p><p>"Okay, Lee Donghyuck, let's call a truce. I won't shit talk and spread rumors about you again, and in turn, you will stop pulling office pranks on me and sabotaging my stuff!"</p><p>"And why would I do that?"</p><p>"Because I'm going to expose and tell you Doyoung's embarrassing secrets. You have to believe me, sweetheart, I have a whole powerpoint of it."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Hey, Ten."</p><p>"What? Why are you talking to me?"</p><p>"Why are you mad? Oh, was it because of that Krispy Kreme from yesterday? I already said I was sorry!"</p><p>"Sorry, my ass." Ten clicked his tongue. "Why would you give that Krispy Kreme box to me making me think there are glazed donuts inside, then I open it to see a homemade Falafel and break my heart?"</p><p>"Look, I heard from the financial department that your sugar level was high, and you barely go on any healthy diet. You're unhealthy. All you drink every day is either soda or beer, so I was worried."</p><p>Ten glowered at him suspiciously.</p><p>"What do you want?"</p><p>"I came here to ask you for help."</p><p>"Depends if I'll say yes or no," Ten said, putting on a matte lipstick. "What is it?"</p><p>"I can't believe I'm about to tell you this," Donghyuck huffed, unable to look Ten in the eyes. "But it's my best friend's birthday next week and I don't know what to get him or how to surprise him."</p><p>"And?"</p><p>"I want you to help me prepare for his birthday."</p><p>Ten blinked.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything. Pardon?"</p><p>And there went it. Donghyuck's patience against Ten's mockery. He had no choice but to give in, choking out the words he so hated to say.</p><p>"I want you, The Great and Legendary God Leechai Chittaphon of the Fashion Industry, to help me."</p><p>"Is there anything you will do for me in exchange?"</p><p>"I will never ever make you eat fruits or put them on your desk and fridge again. I promise."</p><p>"Okay. I'll help you."</p><p>The corners of Ten's lips stretching into a proud grin might be the best yet cursed moment that had ever happened in Donghyuck's life. Donghyuck bowed, and just as if he was about to leave and get back to his desk, Ten spoke.</p><p>"One more thing."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Is that best friend your crush?"</p><p>"Huh," Donghyuck scoffed. "No way, he's not my crush, and he'll never be–"</p><p>"I won't help you then."</p><p>"–FINE, HE'S MY CRUSH, DAMN IT!"</p><p>Donghyuck found it weird why Ten wasn't sniggering at him or ridiculing him in the most annoying tone of voice possible, that was, until he saw the person standing by the door. It was Doyoung, and he was looking at Donghyuck with the widest eyes ever as if he was a deer in headlights.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin came home at around 12 that night.</p><p>His fill-in for the night shift arrived at the restaurant late with a lame excuse of 'stuck in traffic', when everyone damn knew there were barely any vehicles in the streets when it was 11 in the evening.</p><p>He was tired. He fell asleep on the bus and almost missed his destination. He checked his watch, grunting when he saw the long hand pointing somewhere between 12 and 1. He hurried to their apartment and opened the door with his own copy of the keys.</p><p>The lights were off. All lights were off, and Jaemin knew Donghyuck just as much the other knew him as each other's half enough to know that Donghyuck can't sleep with the lights off. He never sleeps with all the lights off. There at least had to be one nearby light turned on for Donghyuck to fall asleep, the one in the bathroom included with the door that has to be opened ajar, but no, not even the bathroom light was open at that time. If the lamp in their bedroom was open, Jaemin would've seen all the way from the entrance door.</p><p>"Hyuck?"</p><p>Jaemin grumbled as he removed his shoes. He placed them on the shoe rack.</p><p>"Donghyuck? Sheez, is he coming home late too or what?"</p><p>Just as he was about to move forth to the living room, he heard something flicker. It was faint, but he definitely heard something click.</p><p>"I swear to God, Lee Donghyuck if this is a prank you're going to sleep on the couch tonight!"</p><p>Jaemin lost it. He ran past the kitchen counter and straight to the living room– gasp, where he had seen something fantastic. Bonzer.</p><p>Some Christmas lights brightened the room as soon as he walked in. And Donghyuck was there, on the sofa, a candle on a cake illuminating his dumb grin. The sound that Jaemin heard turned out to be Donghyuck using the lighter.</p><p>"Surprise."</p><p>Confused, Jaemin's eyes roamed around the room. There were polaroids of the two of them together hung on the wall along with the Christmas lights, the pictures assumably taken by Yangyang's disposable camera he once lent to them in sophomore year. The balloons taped to their windows spelled a 'HAPPY BDAY NANA' as if desperately trying to limit the number of letter balloons he was supposed to buy. And there his childhood best friend was, on the couch, wearing a funny headband with animal ears. And like a cherry on top, a cake sat on top of the coffee table in front of Donghyuck's proud smile.</p><p>Jaemin was too stunned to move. He hadn't had another step away from the door frame for the next, following minutes.</p><p>"I wanted to invite Jeno, but Ten said you seemed like the type to just have me on your birthday instead of another friend," Donghyuck said. "I guess not."</p><p>"No, no," Jaemin shook his head. "This Ten guy was right. But you didn't have to buy me a cake and the balloons."</p><p>"Oh shh, no worries. I didn't buy them. Ten did."</p><p>"All of them?!"</p><p>"Yeah! They're like his birthday presents for you. I picked out the cake at least. The photos too. Ten helped me put them up."</p><p>"I don't know even know who this Ten guy is. Why would he buy me presents?"</p><p>"Oh, he thinks you’re my boyfriend. He cares too much about others’ love lives and then spends the rest of the day complaining about why he has no boyfriend.”</p><p>It was a small surprise party, but Jaemin loved it anyway. Small but meaningful. Planned by Donghyuck with the help of Ten, there in their tiny but cozy apartment, no guests, just the two of them.</p><p>"Make a wish!"</p><p>Donghyuck brought up the cake to his face as Jaemin shut his eyes, his hands clasped. Then, he blew the candle while Donghyuck cheered, setting the cake back on the table. Next thing he knew, Jaemin was already popping the wine bottle open.</p><p>"This is crazy," Jaemin shuddered. "I didn't know it's my birthday."</p><p>Donghyuck chortled. "You can't be serious."</p><p>"I <em>am</em> serious," Jaemin sliced the cake into equal portions. "I may have lost track of the days, but not the time."</p><p>"Good, because that means we have the whole day to ourselves."</p><p>"Wait, what about work?"</p><p>"You have to tell your resto fam it's your birthday. Aren't they nice? I'm sure they would let you have a day off. If not, then oh boy you're gonna have to let me talk to them."</p><p>"That's not happening. What about you?"</p><p>"Hm," Donghyuck pressed his lips. "I don't know. Ten will cover for me, I just know it."</p><p>They laughed together, talked together, and ate the cake together while terribly paring the dessert with wine. They weren't drunk, just not yet, and Donghyuck didn't want to drop a bomb on Jaemin too soon despite desperately wanting to tell him the big news from work.</p><p>Jaemin kept blathering on about how he wished he had his boss' timing skills when cooking, how a female customer thought he was an idol if it wasn't for his chef uniform, and how he was proud that he hadn't stained his apron or sleeve yet since the minute he started working in the kitchen, let alone stain his uniform. His mouth didn't stop running there. And when he decided to shut up for a while, letting the silence linger in the air, he turned to Donghyuck, who hadn't said a single word since he started talking.</p><p>"Are you okay?"</p><p>"Oh, uh," Donghyuck chugged one more shot. "I need to tell you something."</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"It's something big, but only for me."</p><p>"What, are you joining cult?"</p><p>"No, 'course not," Donghyuck lightheartedly chuckled. "... I'll be on a plane to Paris next month."</p><p>Jaemin said nothing. Donghyuck took that as the green light to ramble on.</p><p>"It's the fashion capital of the world. A runway show of top models is going to be held there and I was invited to watch it. The company will provide everything for its employees. They'll provide passports too. The picture-taking for employees who have no passports yet will be two weeks from now. I need to make my decision before that day."</p><p>"That's– 'Hyuck, that's great! You'll get to meet all the fashion designers you've been reading about in magazines! I'm so happy for you, 'Hyuckie, so happy. Take the flight. I'll stay here and watch over our stuff."</p><p>"Are you sure? I-I'll stay there for five days, and I don't want to leave you alone, you know."</p><p>"I’ll be fine, I can wait. You always wanted to go explore the world, and I can literally just picture you there in the middle of the streets in Paris, dancing in the middle of the rain without a care left in the world. I want you to have fun. I want you to be happy, 'Hyuck. Ride that plane. Go to France. I swear I'll be fine."</p><p>"God," Donghyuck uncontrollably smiled. He downed another shot of their wine. "I'll bring home so many shopping bags for you like, just tell me whatever it is that you want whether it's clothes or jewelry or a bag or cosmetics– just, whatever you want in general, I'll buy all of them for you."</p><p>Jaemin let out a giggle.</p><p>"You are the fucking best."</p><p>"Anything for you. Now, since you're the birthday boy, what do you want us to do today?"</p><p>"Let's call spontaneous."</p><p>"You mean we'll think about it in the morning?"</p><p>"You know me," Jaemin winked flirtatiously. "By the way, can I see your sketches? I haven't seen your new ones since you started working in that company."</p><p>"Of course! It's in here, wait."</p><p>Donghyuck unearthed his sketchbook from his tote bag and handed it to Jaemin. The younger flipped the pages, spending longer times staring at each page where Donghyuck had drawn on with a mechanical pencil. He had drawn intricate details of repeating patterns, sewn-on flowers, and line arts, and the motifs adorning the shirts, dresses, gowns, pants, etcetera hugging the bodies of outlined, faceless men and women who shared one thing in common: they were all sketched by Donghyuck, his style versatile and not sticking to one art.</p><p>Even the hairstyles for women were drawn, some accessorized with hats, berets, particular designs of hair clips, and the like. The shoes were on point too, ranging from sneakers to flip flops and <em>god</em> Jaemin couldn't help but draw his breath in when he saw the height and width of heels also jotted down. Shawls, earrings, purses, scarfs, stockings, sandals, and more– every accessory in the fashion world was in Donghyuck's sketchbook, colored according to his preferences and the chosen color palettes watercolored on the corner of each page.</p><p>Body size measurements were also scrawled beside each body, noting the importance of the outfits' appearance depending on the height, curve, everything. And no one else had the same illegible penmanship as Lee Donghyuck.</p><p>"... Woah."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You were once that kid in high school who had the worst fashion sense, but little they know you were just building your own style," Jaemin gawked. "And now you're... You actually have seamstresses sewing these clothes for you to sell them at clothing stores? I can't even count how many times you greeted Yangyang in the halls back then and said 'nice shirt', or nice shoes', or 'nice glittery bobby pins'."</p><p>"Well, cheers," Donghyuck raised his wine. "To your birthday."</p><p>"And to our dreams come true."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was early in the morning where there were barely cars outside, the sky pitch black still. Jaemin was sitting on one of the tables by the window, alone in that vast space of grandiosity with no one else for miles, wearing a parka unhooded to protect himself from the cold inside whilst he peeled extra tangerines to fill his stomach.</p><p>Jungwoo arrived not long after, holding a half-empty cup of hot coffee, his hair barely combed.</p><p>"How'd you come in?"</p><p>"I closed last night, remember?" Jaemin answered. "I don't understand though. Weren't we supposed to be a 24/7 restaurant?"</p><p>"Jaehyun will have a meeting with our investors this afternoon, so we're taking a break for a while. And you're going to be on the Gourmet King show, the restaurant will be in shambles if you weren't in the kitchen," Jungwoo placed his bag down on the floor next to Jaemin's before setting down his coffee that was to turn lukewarm. Jaemin handed him a tangerine. "And if you closed last night, then that means you closed around 11. Did you get enough sleep?"</p><p>"Don't worry about me, I'm a morning person. I'm an early worm."</p><p>"Yeah, I always assumed you are. You always come to work at 6, and at what time did you come today? 3? It's only 4, for Christ's sake."</p><p>"Yes, I came here at 3," Jaemin answered. "I'm fine with just three hours of sleep, seriously. Worry about my best friend and roommate instead, he's an impulsive oversleeper and wakes up at like 9 am. 5 pm if it's his day off."</p><p>Jungwoo looked more concerned about the fact Jaemin had only that few hours of sleep than said roommate's absurd sleep schedule.</p><p>"You sure you'll do fine today?"</p><p>"Totally."</p><p>The front door opened, the entrance bell sounding. Jaemin dropped his jaw at the person, who had come inside at such an ungodly hour in a suit, slicked-back hair, and buckled shoes– all. And on top of his glory, Jungwoo talked casually. Too casually, not to mention.</p><p>"You should be sleeping still, what are you doing here? Your meeting with the investors isn't until seven hours from now."</p><p>"I left some documents in my office," Jaehyun replied, making his way to the back door, his own key dangling from the tip of his finger. "Hey, Jaemin. Want some coffee?"</p><p>"Uh, no, not at all, it'll make me, um, jittery."</p><p>"Okay. Good luck! You win or not, we're still supporting you."</p><p>Perhaps it had been Jaehyun's tone that made Jaemin swallow a lump down his throat. It was elated, in a way that Jaemin interpreted it as trusting, that Jaehyun might've made it obvious that he had faith in Jaemin's professionality.</p><p>The moment Jaehyun went inside the back door, Jungwoo peeled his fourth tangerine, confirming Jaemin's suspicion.</p><p>"You should really do your best. He just implied that the future of this restaurant is in your hands, no doubt."</p><p>Jaemin gasped. "Why would you tell me that now?! I may not look like it, but I get anxious sometimes too!"</p><p>"Take a nap later so you won't get anxious. It helps! Whenever I'm half-asleep and just woke up, I tend not to be afraid or worried about anything," Jungwoo raised his eyebrows in reassurance. "But I've been meaning to ask. Why are you so stiff when Jaehyun is in the room? He's not a bad guy, you know."</p><p>"That man has a black card, how do you expect me not to be afraid?"</p><p>"Oh god. Don't be afraid of rich people, Jaemin. You're supposed to take them down."</p><p>"He was into street-brawling. What if he decked someone out of nowhere? What if he decks me?"</p><p>"Sweetie, no one's getting decked. That cursed part of his past has been buried a long time ago. He may have almost gotten arrested, but it's not life when something wild happens to you."</p><p>Jaemin blinked. "Huh."</p><p>"What's on your mind right now?"</p><p>"Hm... Just thinking about the fact that I became part of this family."</p><p>"What family? Oh, this resto fam? Yeah, we're cool, I'm cool. Kun hyung and Sicheng were the first people I became close with when I first came to work here."</p><p>"Ooh," Jaemin chuckled. "Kun hyung is a great pastry chef."</p><p>"I know right, like have you tasted his passion berry dessert? It tasted so good. I've never tasted anything like it before." Jungwoo commented. "Sicheng is great too. Everybody doesn't call him the Guardian of Food for nothing."</p><p>Sicheng was their pantry chef, specialized in Garde manger. He went to a culinary school and graduated with several strings of achievements hung around his neck. Everyone admired him even though he didn't talk much, but in Jaemin's experience, he was really friendly once you earn his trust.</p><p>Jaemin chewed on his tangerine.</p><p>"Can I be honest with you?"</p><p>"Anytime."</p><p>"So... With that image of Boss Jung, I thought everyone here would be embarrassed by people who have no captivating history. Like, this is such a great restaurant, even the rich have recommended it and wrote about it on their blogs. Kun hyung went abroad to study, Sicheng hyung went to a culinary school, and the chefs I work with at the kitchen were tutored by the world's greatest chefs of all time. Why won't someone like Boss Jung be ashamed of people who weren’t like them? Like me, for example."</p><p>"I guess you should’ve called me a family later on," Jungwoo joked. "Seems like you don't know me well. Did you know I'm a college dropout?"</p><p>"Really? What major?"</p><p>"Engineering. I gave up because of money and I somehow ended up here. You?"</p><p>Jaemin sighed, his eyes glinting.</p><p>"I wanted to be a sous chef at a five-star hotel. I couldn't because my college records are blank." He blinked once more, then smiled. His twinkling eyes transformed into crescents. "But I'm happy here. It pays well. I'm glad I still can cook and serve without needing an astounding background."</p><p>"Exactly. It's all thanks to Jaehyun. We wouldn't be here if he didn't build this restaurant from nothing." Jungwoo sucked on the tangerine’s juice. "And I think he hired you at first sight because you dressed well on the day of your interview. Zero fanciness, but that's okay, he likes street fashion, and your plating skills were a big plus for him."</p><p>Jaemin giggled. He bit on his tangerine.</p><p>"Thanks, my best friend picked that outfit for me."</p><p>"He has great fashion sense then. By the way, I’ve always wondered. Who is that boy in your lockscreen? Is it that best friend?"</p><p>"Oh, yeah, that's him kissing me on the cheek. This picture was taken on our high school graduation. We've known each other since we were like, eight, I think. He's in Paris right now."</p><p>"Really? What is he doing there?"</p><p>"He's a fashion designer. He's there for a runway."</p><p>"Oh, so that's why you looked that good on the day of your job interview," Jungwoo snickered. "Does he know about the cooking survival show? You're a finalist, he should be watching you despite the time zone."</p><p>"He watched the elimination," Jaemin smiled to himself. "The shoot ended at 10 am, right? He messaged me at 3 am there and said I was amazing. I'm sure he'll do it again."</p><p>Jungwoo whistled, tongue tasting sweet and less sour.</p><p>"He sounds amazing. You must be so lucky to have him as your best friend."</p><p>"Yeah. So damn lucky."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin had spent his morning thinking about how they would get to the airport, and Jungwoo had tried to hearten him with just one text after he came out of the shower. Jungwoo told him not to worry about it, and that he'll make sure he gets to the airport in one piece. Jaemin hadn't expected him to drive a Lamborghini Veneno in front of his apartment block.</p><p>"Did you commit carnapping or something?" Jaemin asked as soon as Jungwoo rolled the window down. He looked even more ridiculous with the sunnies perked up his nose. "I can't do this. This car is too expensive, I can't go inside."</p><p>"Why not? Come one, this will take us to the airport faster than any other car."</p><p>"Fine, but I'll yell at you so bad you won't be able to hear for a while if Donghyuck faints when he sees this car. He may be a fashion designer and knows wealthy people, but he too has a low tolerance for rip-off prices," Jaemin opened the door gently as if it would break under his grip. He sat at the back of the passenger's seat and closed the door, gesturing for Jungwoo to go and drive. "You can't possibly own this car, you're just a waiter. Did someone lend it to you?"</p><p>"I borrowed it from Jaehyun."</p><p>Jaemin thought it was the engine rev that made him hear things. But seeing Jungwoo so calm while turning the steering for a good while around to get out of the apartment block, there was no way he was kidding.</p><p>"The boss? How did you persuade him?"</p><p>"You won the cooking show, so this is his present for you!"</p><p>"Excuse me, what?"</p><p>"You can use his car anytime now. You keep saving the restaurant's reputation after all."</p><p>"I don't have a driver's license."</p><p>"Aw, that's too bad. Oh, he'll increase your salary."</p><p>"Really? He seems lenient than I thought."</p><p>They arrived at the airport in no time just as Jungwoo had promised. Jaemin stepped out and leaned through the window from outside when Jungwoo called his name.</p><p>"I won't park. Parking is too expensive here, so hurry up and go pick up your boyfriend."</p><p>"He's not my boyfriend," Jaemin argued. "And I thought you have a lot of money."</p><p>"I have my budget saved for thrift shopping later. Now, go. I'll go around for spins. If I don't see you two out by my third spin, I'll ditch you."</p><p>Jungwoo left momentarily after Jaemin ambled past the terminal gates, looking for any particular rainbow-colored hair among the sea of locals and tourists by the baggage claim. He did spot someone wearing a Belstaff jacket. Jaemin knew right away who it was.</p><p>"Hyuck!"</p><p>The said man turned his head to the voice, grinning upon recognition.</p><p>"Welcome home, 'Hyuck!"</p><p>Donghyuck ran to him with arms spread wide open despite the purse clutched by his left hand. He greeted Jaemin with a tight hug as if he would never let go. Jaemin let out a giggle, inhaling the immaculate scent of his lavender perfume.</p><p>"Welcome back to South Korea, man."</p><p>"Glad to be back home. And heyyy, you won the cooking show!"</p><p>"Damn right, I did," Jaemin laughed, reciprocating the hug. "Did you stay up late just to watch me again?"</p><p>"Of course I would stay up just for you! I wanted to watch you live, so I had to do it."</p><p>"Let me pull your cart. Why did you bring home so many bags?"</p><p>"There are cooking utensils in one of those bags, be careful," Donghyuck warned. "I bought them for you as souvenirs."</p><p>"You didn't have to."</p><p>"I had to."</p><p>"Ugh, what would I ever do without you?"</p><p>They made their way out of the terminal with Donghyuck's cart of suitcases in tow. Jaemin sighed in relief when he saw Jungwoo already waiting outside.</p><p>"Are we taking a cab?" Donghyuck asked. Jaemin let out a low laugh, somewhat awkward.</p><p>"No. Someone is here to give us a ride home."</p><p>Jaemin didn't stop walking, so Donghyuck went to follow him. And when Jaemin stopped in front of a car, Donghyuck may or may not have internally freaked out.</p><p>"Isn't this a Lamborghini?"</p><p>"It is," Jaemin muttered. "Just get in. You'll look like a rich businessman. And why are you so spooked about a car? You wear high-end fashion every day even in bed."</p><p>"Who's the owner?"</p><p>"My boss."</p><p>"Is he the one driving? I can't see because of the tinted windows."</p><p>"No, it's a friend. Come inside first, I'll introduce you to him."</p><p>Donghyuck went ahead and entered the car with stiff shoulders, Jaemin following after as an airport security had volunteered to transfer Donghyuck's suitcases at the back of the car and bring the cart back inside. Jungwoo began to drive again. Donghyuck had been admiring his sunnies the whole time.</p><p>"Hey, hyung, this is the Lee Donghyuck I told you about," Jaemin introduced. "Hyuck, this is Kim Jungwoo hyung. He works as a waiter at the restaurant. His serving skills are marvelous, but his cooking skills lie somewhere in the mediocre field."</p><p>"Hey, you don't introduce me to someone like that," Jungwoo complained. "Nice to meet you though, Donghyuck. Jaemin talks about you all the time."</p><p>"Aww, really? Sweets, Jaemin has told me so much about you too," Donghyuck smiled at him through the rearview mirror. He rumbled through his bag and pulled out something before handing it to Jungwoo. "Here, an exclusive gift for you."</p><p>"Oh my god, a pair of earrings from Aurélie Bidermann?"</p><p>"You see that signature on the box? I met her and her daughter and gave it to me. I figured I should give it to you as a gift. Thank you for always taking care of Jaemin."</p><p>"Hey, I'm still here," Jaemin intervened. "Jungwoo doesn't take care of me!"</p><p>"It's my pleasure," Jungwoo held up an 'okay sign' as he made a turn. "Jaemin often forgets to take care of himself, so it's my duty to make sure he doesn't starve. The day-duty kitchen would fall apart if Jaemin isn't there."</p><p>"Alright, that's enough, you guys are getting too friendly with each other."</p><p>"Why not? He drove you all the way to the airport to fetch me, what else would he have done to keep you on your toes every day when I'm not there?"</p><p>"He's right, you know," Jungwoo concurred. "You always drink too much Americano I was worried you'll put duck breast on the soup and sprinkle a tablespoon of salt."</p><p>"I would never do that! I just don't want you guys to bond over me, geez. I've had enough Jungwoo hyung to deal with nagging me about the small stuff."</p><p>"No way, I'd like to have Donghyuck as my friend. Hey Donghyuck, is it okay if I give you a call sometimes to ask you about contour techniques for my face shape? I'd appreciate it if you do."</p><p>"Donghyuck isn't into cosmetic studies–"</p><p>"Of course you can! I may be busy from time to time, but it won't hurt for you to give me a call."</p><p>"Okay, that's enough, for real this time," Jaemin cut in. He turned to Donghyuck, giving him a longing stare. "So... Was Paris fun?"</p><p>"It was," Donghyuck beamed. "But it's not the same without you. I felt so lonely, I barely talked to anyone, and I just wanted to call you and hear your voice."</p><p>"Is that why you called me twenty-six times a day?"</p><p>"Sheesh, young people," Jungwoo mumbled under his breath. No one but only him heard. "When will I ever get a boyfriend?"</p><p>"Perhaps?" Donghyuck raised his eyebrows. "I couldn't help it."</p><p>"Tell me you danced in the rain at least."</p><p>"Yeah, I did. It was fun."</p><p>"Aw, dancing in the rain in Paris," Jungwoo cooed. "You're living everybody's dream."</p><p>"But I was alone. I wanted to do it with someone."</p><p>"Ten wasn't there with you?" Jaemin questioned, the corner of his lips twitching down when Donghyuck shook his head. "Why?"</p><p>"He kept talking to some fashion designers from another company sleeping in the hotel room next to ours. He said he wanted to get Stella McCartney's autograph."</p><p>"Hey guys, do you want to eat out before going home? I'll pay," said Jungwoo. "Where do you want to eat?"</p><p>"I thought you said your budget is saved for shopping."</p><p>"I changed my mind. I won't let the two of you skip meals today."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"What are you doing? Why are you tearing magazines apart?"</p><p>"I'm creating some looks based on random outfits I can find in magazines," Donghyuck pointed to the center of the page. "Look at this. This female necktie would go so well with this kind of collar."</p><p>"Hold on, that necktie brand. I've never heard that brand. Is it famous?"</p><p>"It's not about the brand, it's about style. And yes, it's famous."</p><p>It was somewhere in November, one cloudy Saturday morning where jolly spirits started to arise within the cold breeze brewed in the crowded streets, when they slept in and was extremely bored, enclosed in their apartment with nowhere to go.</p><p>Donghyuck had been doing nothing but tearing pages from the magazines and cut fashion variables to create new ones and experiment with them, laying them on his sketchbook before pasting them piece by piece, garment after garment. And Jaemin was there looking close to being knocked out, his head resting above the kitchen counter, sitting on a bar chair they randomly purchased from IKEA a year ago as a graduation gift to themselves.</p><p>"I feel like doing nothing today. This isn't like me at all."</p><p>"You're wrong, it's like you when you slept in last night," Donghyuck retaliated.</p><p>"You've been doing that magazine thing for two hours now in one sitting. Admit it, your ass is numb right now."</p><p>"Yeah, it's dead tired, but what's that supposed to do with anything?"</p><p>"We've done nothing but hibernate. We should do something. What do you think?"</p><p>"I suggest we make a casserole."</p><p>"No, no way I'm letting you step afoot into the kitchen in this life," Jaemin proclaimed. "But thanks for the idea. I'll make a casserole."</p><p>"Then I'll take a nap while you do your business."</p><p>Jaemin pranced to the refrigerator and cupboards to take out the ingredients. In the meantime, Donghyuck moved to the couch by the window. His nap was cut short by his own ringtone, so he grasped the device from the table, impressed to see the caller number.</p><p>"Jeno! How'd you get my number?"</p><p>"<em>The day Jaemin was brought to the clinic, remember? But that's not important right now. Listen carefully. I got an Introduction to Particle Technology exam tomorrow, and I won't be able to rest until I know the answer to my question. It's about Jaemin.</em>"</p><p>"What about him?"</p><p>"<em>Did he confess to you already?</em>"</p><p>"Confess about what?"</p><p>"<em>L-Like– I don't know, man, like, in a romantic way? Intimate way? I don't know, seriously, did he tell you already that he likes you? As in like like you or not yet? Please, Donghyuck I don't want Jaemin to be his coward self and not be brave enough to tell you that and the fact that I can't do anything because I have so many notes to revise today is killing me and–</em>"</p><p>"Jen', calm down," Donghyuck checked the kitchen again, relieved when he saw Jaemin still occupied on the casserole. "If you drank coffee for you to be this way, go and take a nap."</p><p>"<em>I'm sorry, I'm just frustrated. I should be focusing on my exam but I'm thinking about you and Jaemin instead. I've texted him several times about it, and all he said was no in uppercase!</em>"</p><p>"Jeno, I don't think I can tell him so soon that I like him. He'll lose his mind. He's making a casserole right now, you won't want to get his shell broken."</p><p>"<em>But you have to. I cannot focus on my exam because my brain keeps stirring onto your pining situation. It's pricking me.</em>"</p><p>"Are you lying about the exam thing just to make me do this?"</p><p>"<em>No– It's not that, seriously, I'm not joking! If I don't pass this exam I might not make it to the next semester. If you don't believe me, I'll send you my schedule.</em>"</p><p>"I'm not sure I trust you."</p><p>"<em>How can you not trust me? I'm Jaemin's friend, I never tell lies, and honest to god I really want to pass this exam so you better tell me you and Jaemin are together now to boost my happy cells. Pretty please, Donghyuck? Don't you remember the question I asked you back on graduation day? And more importantly, don’t you want me to become a successful scientist and see my name printed on almanacs and textbooks?</em>"</p><p>Donghyuck sighed.</p><p>"Fine. Don't press end call and for God's sake do not say anything."</p><p>"<em>Are you gonna do it?</em>"</p><p>"You better shut up now," Donghyuck stressed. He turned around and saw Jaemin not ready with the casserole, but with some jello on a plate. "He's coming this way. Keep your mouth shut and don't make a sound. Promise me that."</p><p>No time to hear Jeno's pledge, Donghyuck placed his phone screen down on the coffee table and sat on the sofa with an innocent look on his face. Likewise, Jaemin settled down two plates of the jello on the same table, going back to the kitchen for the spoons.</p><p>"Who was that?"</p><p>"It was just Yangyang," Donghyuck listlessly answered. "He told me he has taken over his father's business as an heir today."</p><p>It was a lie, obviously, since Yangyang became CEO three weeks ago on his birthday, not today. And Donghyuck hoped Jaemin will never find out when his birthday is.</p><p>Jaemin came back with spoons and handed one to Donghyuck.</p><p>"Enjoy."</p><p>"Nana," Donghyuck patted the space next to him on the sofa. The other got the message and followed. "Let's talk. I want us to be honest."</p><p>"Sure. What is it?"</p><p>"You do know that we haven't placed a label on us, right?"</p><p>Jaemin swallowed a bite of his jello, dramatically swooning at the sweetness. "What label?"</p><p>"Shut it. You're a really bad actor, so don't get smart with me now."</p><p>"Okay, look, 'Hyuck. I don't understand. What label? Like the best friend label, childhood best friend, or partner-in-crime, or best mate, roommate, flatmate–"</p><p>"I'm in love with you."</p><p>It was silent. Drop dead silent that Donghyuck was worried Jaemin might hear a gasp that didn't belong to Donghyuck, but to his phone. To Jeno.</p><p>Jaemin swallowed a chunk of the jello.</p><p>"You waited fourteen years to tell me that?"</p><p>"... I guess?"</p><p>"Okay. Let me just get this straight. So you are in love with me?"</p><p>"Yes," Donghyuck took a deep breath. "And can I be honest with you? I have so much to let off my mind and I think I'll function better if I've told you about all of it."</p><p>Jaemin only nodded. The word unsure was still written all over his face. He was baffled, yes, and Donghyuck could almost hear Jeno screaming inside his mind to switch the call to video call, the one thing he shouldn't be doing right now.</p><p>"I don't even know where to start. See, the thing is, I didn't fall for you when we were eight years old, or when we got married by the lake by the age of ten, but the feelings just rose somewhere in between. Maybe it was when you stayed behind with me and skipped classes because I was depressed over a stupid crush on Mark, or when we ditched that Halloween party and kissed on the train, or when we got drunk on Christmas day. For almost our entire lives, we ate, drank, showered, slept, studied, played, and spent time together. We see each other almost every day and God knows how much I love and cherish every second of those moments. I just know that I tried to deny these feelings by hanging out with Yangyang and that I tried to erase them because I didn't want to ruin our friendship, especially when we had been fighting over best friends just because we were stressed about school. But I couldn't.</p><p>"When we sat there on our bed after a long day, our stomachs filled from dinner, just staring at Jeno's painting on the wall, at that moment, I knew. I knew you were the one, and no one else would ever be loved by me the same way I love you. Even if you don't love me right now, or even if you won't in a thousand years, fine by me. But please just let me love you because I will till the day I die."</p><p>Jeno was in all likelihood crying his eyes now at the other line, smudging the ink of his handwritten Solution Manuals notes, unable to say something or make sniffled noises since he promised Donghyuck he wouldn't make any sound.</p><p>"You're right. I won't in a thousand years." A streak of panic made its way to Donghyuck's face, his muscles contracting in fear– "Because I love you too. I will love you today, tomorrow, for the rest of our lives."</p><p>Donghyuck was too speechless to respond, having to blink and give himself a slap to make sure he wasn't dreaming or hearing things. What came next out of Jaemin's mouth validated that he wasn't.</p><p>"I don't know when was the first time I fell for you either. Jeno would know. He said I always looked unimpressed whenever you hung out with Yangyang. I assumed you had a crush on him, but that kiss on the train gave me hope even though we both agreed to pretend like nothing happened that night. You gave me hope. I thought I would grow old in that cottage alone with my dad, planting seeds and harvesting crops without ever getting out of that town, but then you came. Dad brought you to our place and I felt like the universe had given me a sign. I had company every day, someone to read and write to, someone to learn with, and someone to talk to about how everybody needs someone like Cinderella's fairy godmother."</p><p>"Jaem..."</p><p>Jaemin clasped his hands together, rubbing warmth onto Donghyuck's stone cold ones.</p><p>"I wish I could turn back time to fix the highschooler me, that way I would never hurt you or be mean to you. I wish I never made you worry so much or have you take care of me when I was overcaffeinated. But at the same time, I want to thank you for putting up with me and my bullshits, for always being there for me when I needed you the most because it was always you. There is something about how you make me feel weak yet so strong, and it's the most beautiful thing I can ever feel. I love you, and I will always do."</p><p>The way Jaemin said it made it seem like there was something unsullied about that 'I love you', about that confession over touched and untouched plates of jello.</p><p>"I love you too."</p><p>Jaemin smiled contagiously that it made Donghyuck smile too. At last, Donghyuck picked up his spoon and took a bite of his jello, stealing heartfelt glances from Jaemin.</p><p>"So... Are we like, dating now or what?"</p><p>"Officially," Donghyuck affirmed. "Boyfriends?"</p><p>"Boyfriends," Jaemin said. He stood up, a crooked grin on his face, giving Donghyuck the finger guns. "I'll get us the wine."</p><p>"Seriously? Don't you think it's too early for us to drink?"</p><p>"It's never too late for us to drink, 'Hyuck. We're adults for a reason, not saints."</p><p>Donghyuck grabbed his phone the minute Jaemin was out of earshot.</p><p>"You're welcome."</p><p>"<em>Wow,</em>" Jeno sniffed. "<em>That was the best eight minutes of my life.</em>"</p><p>Donghyuck found it himself to not blame Jeno, for he was someone who believed in them, believed that they would live happily ever after, like the sophomore kid they had dinner with who wished there was something more to them than friends.</p><p>"Stop being dramatic and go ace the exam."</p><p>"<em>Yeah, I'll try, but for real though, I can't thank you enough. What do you want for Christmas? I'll buy you anything.</em>"</p><p>"You want to give me a present? Then study your ass off for the rest of the day and give me the news on Christmas day that you're moving up to the next level. I'm saying this partially because the word 'repeater' doesn't sound nice next to your name."</p><p>"<em>You're so stubborn. Fine, I'll study now. Thanks again and enjoy the rest of the day with your boyfriend for me!"</em></p><p>Donghyuck lazily tossed his phone to the other couch. He stared thoughtlessly at the floor, snapping out of his own trance when he perceived little shadowy figures that were shaped circles before realizing what they were.</p><p>He whipped his head around to the window and there it was. The most anticipated natural event of the month.</p><p>"It's snowing," Donghyuck squealed. "It's snowing, Jaem, and it's the first snow of the season!"</p><p>Jaemin came back in with two glasses of wine as Donghyuck took the other. The latter sipped a few, compared to Jaemin, who swigged all of it in one go. He gazed at the snow like they were stars in broad daylight, his pupils glinting of their reflection.</p><p>"It's beautiful. Just like you."</p><p>Donghyuck spent a good while staring at the streets, but now all he can see is Jaemin, pretty-faced Jaemin, gifted sous chef Jaemin. Before he took notice of it, though, Jaemin had leaned in and God knew what happened next.</p><p>Jaemin kiss like Donghyuck was Michelangelo and he was something holy. Like that kiss alone was carved into their existences, as if one of them wanted to make the other burn alongside him, to melt in the river of his chest. And that alone consoled their souls in the middle of the snowed-on city.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Under a moonless sky did Jaemin arrive home after a stressful day at work despite the hundred degrees of cold weather. He hung his parka on the cloth stand by the door, addressing Donghyuck slouched on the sofa with a peevish 'hi'.</p><p>"I see you're already dressed in your pajamas. Why are you still awake?"</p><p>"I just got here minutes before you did. I had to work overtime in the office to talk about Holiday sales. We're giving away a 50% discount. And by the way, you smell like cheese?"</p><p>"It's not my fault almost every customer ordered Gingerbread cake with cream cheese icing today and I had to help out Kun hyung," Jaemin said, clutching a tupperware out of his bag. "Do you want Cranberry cake? I have leftovers."</p><p>"Sure, I'm craving sweets anyway. What time is it?"</p><p>"It's 1:03 am. Oh, it's already December 24."</p><p>"I don't really feel like sleeping no matter how tired I am," Donghyuck pouted. "Wanna stay up?"</p><p>"We have the whole day to ourselves! It's Christmas Eve after all."</p><p>And they there were, flumped on one couch together, the screen of their shared laptop being the only thing illuminating the room. Jaemin's tupperware from work sat atop the table, emptied and left with only sugar and cream. It's almost 2 in the morning, and yet they were watching Youtube videos about dogs and cats.</p><p>"That dog is so cute. What breed is it?"</p><p>"I think it's a Bichon Frise."</p><p>"Should we get one?"</p><p>"I would love to," Jaemin said. "But dog food is expensive. I don't want us to be responsible for an innocent dog's death."</p><p>"You have a point. Tsk, we have so many problems with money to worry about."</p><p>"What about that black and white cat? It looks like it could kill you."</p><p>"No, they don't kill. They're actually just a bun of a cinnamon roll."</p><p>Jaemin scoffed. "How would you know that?"</p><p>"Ten has the same one. I think the breed is a Thai cat or something like that," Donghyuck chattered. "Speaking of Ten, he asked me to watch over his cats the other day. His apartment is pretty. Small, but pretty. He lives alone even though he's a social guy. I don't know why, but that fact about him makes me feel a bit sad."</p><p>"I thought you hate him. What happened?"</p><p>"That's what happens when your desk is across his. I may be a sociable person, but he's the closest one I could be friends with at the company. He kept me under his wing the whole time we were in Paris and I tailed him like I'm his henchman. He even pulled me away from fashion designers who had a toxic attitude."</p><p>"What attitude?"</p><p>"You know, homophobic, racist, etcetera. Ten tried his best to cover up the fact that I didn't go to college."</p><p>"Oh no. He seems like a really great guy though, I have to thank him someday. What would he like as a gift?"</p><p>"Oh please, Jaemin, you would need something expensive to wear for him to be satisfied. He's not easy to impress. And oh, did I tell you that one time I poured tomato sauce inside his Versace purse because he won't let me hold a seminar about next year's updated collection?"</p><p>"Tell me about it," Jaemin chuckled. "I've always been meaning to ask. How would he know I wanted it to be just the two of us on the night of my birthday?"</p><p>"Oh, that. He snooped around our chat and said you seem like the jealous type. I guess he was right."</p><p>"What? Then he's not a great guy if he sticks his nose to other's business like that."</p><p>"He didn't even scroll up that far. Remember when you asked why would he buy you presents for your birthday?"</p><p>"What about it?"</p><p>"It was because he knew I had a crush on you, not because he thought you're my boyfriend. He actually wanted you to be my boyfriend," Donghyuck admitted. "He's like Cupid, but the devilish type. I bet he probably didn't want a hopelessly-in-love-with-his-childhood-best-friend guy whose desk is across his so he had to do something."</p><p>"How are you going to tell him about us now?"</p><p>"I don't know. On the first day of work next year?” Donghyuck wondered. “I'm sure he'll be bragging about his boyfriend that has lasted seven months with him, so I wouldn't know when to cut him off until I try."</p><p>"But make sure to tell him someday, okay?"</p><p>"'Kay."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Five years. For five years, they worked and gained, lived through ups and downs in the vivid city that had lots of stories to tell. At the same time, Donghyuck and Jaemin wrote unforgettable memories for themselves and for the world, memories that will never be pushed to the back of their heads in a lifetime.</p><p>They ate out on occasions, not habitually. They went to coin karaokes, explored the local malls, tried out the street food in all seasons, had the time of their lives in Lotte World and Mount Namsan, and viewed an exhibition at a design plaza, all the while their budgets were constantly being watched and computed every night and their savings were kept in their multiple bank accounts.</p><p>But that wasn't all that happened for five Spring times, Summer heats, Autumn falls, and Christmases. And ten birthdays.</p><p>One night on a summery April day was where things were vented about by weary souls with streaks of unproductivity. This time, Jaemin arrived home first before Donghyuck did. He was at the kitchen brewing himself a cup of hot tea when Donghyuck entered the apartment, taking off his shoes before putting them on the rack.</p><p>"Welcome home," Jaemin saluted. Donghyuck nodded at him quite sluggishly. Jaemin remained nonchalant when the other sank on the nearest couch, grunting as he massaged his sore neck.</p><p>It was even scarier when Jaemin still had his expressionless face on the moment the lights on the kitchen and the living room happened to go out at the exact same time, which was impossible for neither he and Donghyuck had the stamina to go and approach the light switches from where they were situated. Donghyuck reached out for the light switch of the living room to try and check for confirmation, a glint of hope burning in him that the light should go back. It was just a blackout. Nothing should go wrong.</p><p>That hope died the moment the light won't turn on and when Jaemin pointed to their window, prompting Donghyuck to look. The eateries and pawnshops across their block had their lights on even at this late hour of the night.</p><p>"Did you forget to pay the bills again?"</p><p>"Shit," Donghyuck raked his fingers through his hair, knitting his eyebrows. "I totally forgot. Why is living in Seoul so hard? Everything is expensive. Even our salaries combined won't be enough."</p><p>"Things happen, 'Hyuck."</p><p>"Oh yeah? Two years ago, Ten was moved to our Chinese branch and I had to work with someone who replaced him, who wasn't even that nice. That person is cold, heartless, only cares about work and I can't even bear to work with him every day. I hate not going on a day without having to see his face, and I hate it even more that Mr. Kim, my boss, favored him when he'd only been working for a few months. I've been working there for more years than him. I should be promoted to a higher department, or become his secretary, anything. Did that just happen by coincidence? I do not think so. I think God hates me."</p><p>"Do you really think you're the only one who's being challenged by the world?"</p><p>"Yes, exactly. And I think it's unfair."</p><p>Jaemin let out a scornful laugh, much to Donghyuck's perplexity.</p><p>"What's so funny?"</p><p>"My boss is gonna lay us off next week."</p><p>"What?" Donghyuck shot up straight. "Why?"</p><p>Jaemin shrugged his shoulders. "Cutting costs. The boss has to pay debts for things he did as a streetfighter. But don't worry about me. Worry about the rent."</p><p>Donghyuck made a sullen face. He buried his face in his hands. This wasn't happening. Not now, when they've made it all the way here for five years.</p><p>"Why is this happening?"</p><p>"It simply means our landlord is responding to market changes, inflation, and the costs of property maintenance."</p><p>"But the question is why, Mr. 'I studied Economics'," Donghyuck accentuated. "I'm starting to think he's doing this just to get money for himself."</p><p>"He probably made upgrades to a property. Look at our home, it's pretty, we got a nice view of the streets outside. Why wouldn't he increase its value?"</p><p>"I can't tell if you're making sense or not or I'm just that dumb."</p><p>"In conclusion, it just really happens. That's life. We can't do anything about it unless we come up with a good idea."</p><p>"You're such a fucking realist."</p><p>"That's who I am, hun."</p><p>Jaemin had the gull to sip on his green tea as if he didn't say anything to offend Donghyuck in the simplest way. Donghyuck decided to let it slide this time, and in a gruff voice, spoke.</p><p>"You know what I think will be best for us? To go home."</p><p>Jaemin settled his tea down on the coaster.</p><p>"No, no, just– no way. We're not going home. We're earning a lot, don't you see? I'll just find another job. It may not be easy, but I can do it. I'll do anything for you."</p><p>"But people here are rude. I got mugged on the subway on the way to Sangil-dong to visit a seamstress the other day. I don't want that to happen again."</p><p>"Fine. Let's be real. What's so good about home that makes you want to come back?"</p><p>"You start," Donghyuck said. "I want to see if you still even want to go home."</p><p>Jaemin took a deep breath, his eyes shut closed. It was obvious that he didn't want to talk about this when they were nowhere talking about how to manage their rent, but since it was Donghyuck who asked, he didn't stand a choice. He leaned against the kitchen counter to relax his spine.</p><p>"I like how our neighbors treat each other with hospitality. And the secret recipes. The way we find joy in farm works and poultry housing and earn little, almost not enough for a decent living. And of course, I miss dad. I called him the other day through one of our neighbor's landline. He said he's doing well. And he's glad to hear that both of us are eating well while working hard. He's proud. Then the line was cut."</p><p>"What do you mean it was cut?"</p><p>"Signal interruption, duh." Jaemin rolled his eyes. "Your turn."</p><p>Donghyuck winced. He allowed a few more seconds basked in silence to pass by, not entirely knowing when to start.</p><p>"No noise pollution. No crowds. I miss our bed. And the small bathroom. I miss everything. Dad's noodles, the lake, the well, the garden, the smell of cooked rice, and the list goes on. No crimes, no brutality, just peace. Everyone is raised to be amiable. God, I miss that town. I might miss my mom too."</p><p>Jaemin curled his lips. He slumped down on the couch next to the older who had his hands clasped together. Seeing as Donghyuck had no intentions to hurt anyone but himself, Jaemin began to run circles on his back. Depressed Donghyuck was a scary Donghyuck.</p><p>"You okay?"</p><p>"Yeah. I guess I just– I don't know, I'm losing it. I don't like living here anymore. It makes me depressed just thinking about it."</p><p>"But you always wanted to go beyond our town. Wasn't that your dream, 'Hyuck?"</p><p>"You don't understand, Jaemin. I've given up."</p><p>It was dark, so Donghyuck couldn't possibly see the disappointment smeared all over the other's face. But although he couldn't see, he could feel it thanks to the way Jaemin stopped consoling him with nice gestures and froze.</p><p>"You out of all people should understand. You're the one who's being laid off here, not me. I kinda wished I was the one being laid off though."</p><p>"Don't say that," Jaemin tightened his grip on Donghyuck's hands that had gone cold. "And just so you know, yes, I understand. What do you say?"</p><p>Donghyuck tore off his stare from the floor and looked at Jaemin, eyes wide as if he had seen a ghost. And Jaemin had the audacity to smile wider.</p><p>"So? Should we go home? I don’t know if you still remember, but dad did say if city life becomes unbearable for us, we know where to go."</p><p>"You can't be serious."</p><p>Jaemin shook his head. He patted the other on the shoulder before making a beeline to the kitchen.</p><p>"What are you going to do?"</p><p>"Cook us something, what else?" Jaemin took a pack of bacon out of the freezer. "What are you waiting for? C'mon, get our laptop. We're going to spend the whole night writing your resignation letter."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seven years ago, a decision was made.</p><p>It had been a great day. For both of them, it was.</p><p>They rode the bus together on the way to work. Jaemin had to get off first since his workplace was nearer than Donghyuck's, but being separated was not their top concern right now. After all, it was guaranteed they'd see each other again at a graduation event. Someone's graduation event.</p><p>Donghyuck exited the company at around eleven, taking in an abundant amount of fresh air. He couldn't believe this was happening. This was it. This was his last walk outside the company building, his last time breathing in the fashion-centered atmosphere, last time seeing familiar faces who were uninformed of his resignation and probably won't talk about it until they notice he hasn't been going to work for weeks. Or months. Or until Doyoung tells them the news himself if he's confident enough to say an employee's name.</p><p>Donghyuck sat on a bench outside the company, seeking tree shades to avoid sweating. He shouldn't sweat. Not now, when he was about to go on a long, momentous day.</p><p>Waiting for a text from Jaemin to confirm if they'll meet at the bus, Donghyuck slid through his contacts list and tapped on a profile that had been neglected for years. The receiver picked up on the first ring.</p><p>"<em>Heyyy lil' ‘Duck! You haven't talked to me in three years. What's up?</em>"</p><p>"Hey," Donghyuck said. "How's Shanghai?"</p><p>"<em>They were right. It's really the richest city in China. You should come here someday. You still have your passport, right? It's beautiful here, I swear, you should see the morning views for yourself.</em>"</p><p>"Cool! So happy to hear you're having fun."</p><p>"<em>So? Why did you call?</em>"</p><p>"I called because... I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I miss you. I fucking miss you. It’s true that you’re the most annoying person I've ever met, but you took care of me when nobody in the office would. You helped me get through everything. I can't believe I only worked with you for three years. I only knew you for three years. That's not a long time. Why did you have to leave? I hate the guy who replaced you. For starters, I refuse to remember his name. He's so bubbly and positive only when Doyoung walks past the office but is cold-blooded to me. I don’t even know why he's getting more attention than me."</p><p>"<em>Huh?</em>" Ten called, uncertain. "<em>Well, I said yes to the transfer because I wanted to try new things and meet new people. If you were so against it, you should've told me from the start.</em>"</p><p>"I didn't say anything because I saw the way your face lit up when Mr. Kim told you the news. Are you still planning to dethrone him?"</p><p>"<em>Not now, at least.</em>”</p><p>“Huh. Remember when you said you were sure it would take Mr. Kim two months for him to hate me and consider firing me? Yeah, I’ve proven you wrong. It never happened.”</p><p>“<em>Yes, I know you’ve lasted four to five years, but that's not important right now. Are you okay? Do you have something to tell me?</em>"</p><p>"No. I just called to check on you."</p><p>"<em>No, no you did not. There's something about your voice that doesn't sit right with me. Where are you? Do you want me to book a flight to Seoul?</em>"</p><p>"What, are you expecting me to answer if I'm standing at the edge of a rooftop?" Donghyuck turned behind, eyeing the company logo situated stories high above the ground. "The answer is no, I'm not. I'm outside the company. And there's ink on my fingers."</p><p>"<em>I'm not sure I'm following. What's going on?</em>"</p><p>"I just wanted to say that I'll miss you," Donghyuck drawled. "But I probably won't miss the company."</p><p>"<em>Lee Donghyuck.</em>"</p><p>"I'm going home."</p><p>"<em>What?</em>"</p><p>"I'm going home," Donghyuck reiterated. "I sent in my resignation letter. Mr. Kim didn't look pleased when he was reading it, but hearing my reason, he accepted it. That was the first time he smiled at me, Ten, and he said he's happy if I'm happy about it. That was the first time I ever heard such a thing come out of his mouth and it was addressed to me."</p><p>"<em>Yeah, Doyoung can be sincere and nonrobotic sometimes. And I'm glad you're going back home. You always told me stories about your town when you didn’t feel like working on new editions or sabotaging my stuff. Are you sure you don't want me to fly there right now and say goodbye one last time?</em>"</p><p>"No need. I'm already contented just by hearing your voice. By the way, have you found a new boyfriend?"</p><p>"<em>Not yet. How can I find a boyfriend when I'm so busy with deadlines? But Shanghai is a big city. There's a lot of fishes out there, I'm sure I'll find the right one at the right time.</em>"</p><p>"You sure are optimistic," Donghyuck laughed. "I'm hanging up now. Enjoy your day!"</p><p>Donghyuck walked to the bus stop and got on the bus the second Jaemin sent him a message saying he passed by the fashion company just now. Donghyuck tapped his card on the monitor, smiling as soon as he saw Jaemin at the back indolently scrolling on his phone, his head leaning against the window.</p><p>It was a beautiful morning, for the weather was great and the air so fresh.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The graduation was over in three hours.</p><p>Donghyuck and Jaemin arrived too early after eating packed lunch at the park that they had to stay at the top balcony of the auditorium for thirty minutes, watching the parents and relatives come in after another. Even Jaemin took a homely nap that Donghyuck struggled to wake him up in time for the ceremony.</p><p>Being the best friends they were, they had to get a good view of Jeno walking on the aisle and to the stage, so they split roles. Donghyuck stayed at the top balcony where other extra relatives including siblings were stationed, and Jaemin sat beside Jeno's mother in the parents’ section. He was even mistaken as Jeno's sibling, and for that matter, he just laughed it off and dismissed that he wasn't.</p><p>Graduation was over, and all Donghyuck could do is sigh and walk off the balcony. It was too cold up there, he said, relief washing over him when they went to the quadrangle filled with parents and relatives taking pictures.</p><p>"Come with me and Jeno," Jaemin pinched Donghyuck on the side stomach when he refused to be in the picture with them. "Don't disappoint the mother, damn it. That woman gave me the phone I still use today. And remember, you are Jeno's friend too."</p><p>Eventually, Donghyuck gave in. It turned out not to be that bad. He felt included for once and was proud to have a friend who completed his education.</p><p>"Here, I took a lot of photos of you from the balcony," Donghyuck said, showing Jeno the pictures on his phone. "Your black robes suit you, by the way. Your face here says 'fueled by an undying passion for Chem'."</p><p>"He looks like he's being held at gunpoint," Jaemin mentioned. "Even when he's walking down the aisle with his mom."</p><p>"Are your literal jobs describing my face?" Jeno whined as he removed off his hat, fixing his hair afterward. "Does nobody care about how I'm a valedictorian?"</p><p>Donghyuck and Jaemin looked at each other. They burst into laughter, tears brimmed at the corners of their eyes. They proceeded to pull Jeno into a group hug.</p><p>"We were just kidding."</p><p>"We love you!"</p><p>In the end, Jeno begged his mother to let him eat out with the duo for dinner, and she happily complied. All it took for them to get nearly wasted was to take Jeno's car, drop themselves at the cheapest yet best restaurant they could find down the street, and tell the waiter everything they want from the menu.</p><p>"Congrats! You're a college graduate now," Jaemin raised his shot. "Let's toast."</p><p>Donghyuck wore a broad smile, "to Jeno's career!"</p><p>"To my career!"</p><p>They downed their shots at the same time, letting whisked sighs at the mixed sweetness and bitterness of the taste. Jaemin composed himself in a minute and grabbed ahold of the tongs.</p><p>"Okay, let's eat."</p><p>"We forgot one more thing. Congrats on being a couple!" Jeno acclaimed. "Tonight's meal is on me."</p><p>"I still can't believe you made me do that just so you could pass that exam five years ago," Donghyuck clicked his tongue. He placed a few more meats on Jeno's bowl of rice using his own chopsticks. "I'm glad you passed though, you're the best. And you should eat more. You deserve to go home with a stuffed stomach."</p><p>"We were in the same Statistics class in high school, I know you would do anything you’re told to do. And I wouldn't have passed that examination if you didn't become boyfriends at that time. I'm serious."</p><p>“What are you talking about?” Jaemin knitted his eyebrows. He turned to Donghyuck. “What did Jeno make you do?”</p><p>“Nothing!”</p><p>From there, Jaemin didn’t give up trying any form of provocation to get them to avow. They said nothing and ate their meals in silence before switching to a trifling topic.</p><p>They never saw Jeno in the span of five years since both parties had their schedules marked as hectic, but proud anyway that their reunion was slated on his graduation. They had a bunch of stories to tell that it might need them hours to catch up, days if they mention trivial details. Even so, the clock was ticking, and Jaemin mustered up the courage to tell Jeno their news.</p><p>"So you two are going back home? As in home <em>home</em>?"</p><p>"Yeah. Far away. We haven't gone home ever since we started working."</p><p>"He's right," Jaemin agreed, still occupied in grilling the beef on the griddle pan. "The last time we went home was after our graduation, then came back in time for job hunting. Having a job means you can’t get enough day-offs for vacation. Like, not enough for us to pack and go home when we prefer recharging in bed."</p><p>"You must be really missing your town then. But doesn't that also mean I won't see you guys again in another period of years or so?"</p><p>"We can still call and text. It's not like we'll stop using our mobile phones unless necessary. And you can tell us if we need to visit you."</p><p>"Yeah, we can take the train anytime," Donghyuck said, placing a few veggies as toppings on his meat. "There's nothing wrong about going back and forth. It's just that we'd rather live there now than here."</p><p>"I get it," Jeno nodded. "So if I call you at like 2 am, you won't be mad?"</p><p>"Depends if I'm still awake or you woke me up," Jaemin laughed. "But yeah, sure. If the signal is strong."</p><p>"Cool! So when are you guys boarding the train?"</p><p>Donghyuck swallowed his lettuce and swilled another shot.</p><p>"Tomorrow."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jeno told them he'll go home by cab to know what it feels like to be a normal commuter the night of his graduation day, and for the first time in his life too, so to make it special, they decided to send him off and hail one for him.</p><p>But it wasn't that easy. Jeno could barely step inside the taxi without waving goodbye at them for the third time.</p><p>"Have a safe trip back home! I love you guys!"</p><p>"We love you too! Work well!" Jaemin said. "We'll look forward to your discoveries!"</p><p>"Bye! Thanks for being the friends I never had! I'll miss you!"</p><p>"We'll miss you more! Give us a call some time!"</p><p>Even when the taxi began to drive away, Jeno was still waving at them from inside, desperate not to let them stray farther from him. It was hard to undertake that it was happening, that it was just part of their life and adulthood, and they had nothing else to say while standing there on the sidewalk in stillness.</p><p>They were facing the streets, waiting for the light to turn red so they could cross. The torturous seconds were elapsing and the light hadn't turned red yet. The cars came and went. They weren't accelerated, the vehicles were. Donghyuck cleared his throat.</p><p>"You're gonna miss him, aren't you?"</p><p>"Shut up," Jaemin said. "Don't make me think I'll never see him in a thousand years."</p><p>Donghyuck sniffled a pity laugh. If it wasn't for the streetlights within the vicinity, he wouldn't see the strained emotions in Jaemin's face.</p><p>"So where do we go now?"</p><p>"Let's spend more. Just a little bit more."</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>They winded up buying things for Yuta and their neighbors. They hopped from shop to shop, stopped at mini snacks stalls to take a break and get a bottle of water. They strolled further away to check out underground stores selling cosmetics and thrift items. Absolutely nothing was out of their price range with the cash they had in their wallets. It was a full-on splurge session they would never complain about nor regret.</p><p>"Have you ever realized we never told each other to break off our friendship with our other friends?</p><p>“Even though we both wanted to do that so badly? Yeah. I even thought you had a crush on Yangyang."</p><p>"On another lifetime, maybe."</p><p>What Donghyuck said drew a blank stare from Jaemin.</p><p>"What?" Donghyuck knitted his eyebrows. "Stop being so jealous, Christ. It's not like I'm polyamorous or something. I did think at one point too that you and Jeno were dating."</p><p>"What? Tsk, I'm nowhere near Jeno's type. Isn't it obvious that he's into nerds?"</p><p>"Yeah, I know, I heard from girls in my second year class that he had the biggest crush on Renjun. I shared a Korean Lit class with him."</p><p>"And for the record, that crush didn't die down until high school graduation."</p><p>"Regardless of Mark?"</p><p>"Regardless of Mark."</p><p>Neither didn't let the bustling streets and cars fill the silence. That fucking passive silence. And Donghyuck couldn't stand it.</p><p>"So what now?"</p><p>"Let's go."</p><p>"Go where?"</p><p>"I don't know. I just don't want to go home yet."</p><p>"Jaemin, we have a ride tomorrow. Don't you think we should be sleeping right now?"</p><p>"Wait, let's go through our schedule again. Have you emptied your bank accounts?"</p><p>"The other day, yes. And for the love of God tell me you've done it too because banks are closed right now and don't open until 9 in the morning. And our ride home is an hour after that."</p><p>"No," Jaemin deadpanned. "I haven't."</p><p>Donghyuck felt as if being stumped by something metal. He stood there like a fool. His heart seemed to have stopped and Jaemin looking back at him with an inscrutable face wasn't helping. All he wanted the universe to do was ingest him whole and never let him step foot into Korea's soil ever again.</p><p>And Jaemin had the nerve to snort.</p><p>"I'm just kidding!" Jaemin snickered, earning a deep sigh from Donghyuck. "In fact, I did it early this morning on my way to the bus stop. Now my wallet is like a Turkey on Thanksgiving."</p><p>"You scared me!" Donghyuck punched him on the shoulder too fast that Jaemin hadn't been able to defend himself. The latter was still guffawing, barely expressive about the pain in his muscles.</p><p>"Jeez, you dummy. I'm not that dumb."</p><p>"For real though, where do we go now?"</p><p>"Did you know your punch just now was strong?" Jaemin squeaked. "Wanna go to an arcade and set records?"</p><p>"Oh, I am so on board."</p><p>"You are going down."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck considered the arcade date to be one of the best dates he ever had. They shared a chaste kiss after setting a new record on the basketball stall, the neon lights irradiating their skin and flushed faces. Jaemin was eager to get Donghyuck a stuff toy from one of the crane machines, however, he got unlucky streaks instead. They bimbled to the convenience store next to the arcade just so Jaemin could get Donghyuck his favorite flavor of popsicle.</p><p>Jaemin expected the two of them to take a stroll to the bus stop without any slight inconvenience so they could go home in one piece because god, it had been a long day, and all he wanted to do was crawl onto their bed and knock himself out. It was their last night in Seoul, after all.</p><p>The person standing across the street was there to delay his desire. Donghyuck almost dropped his popsicle at the sight of him, ignoring the sticky liquid oozing down his thumb.</p><p>"Oh, for crying out loud!" Donghyuck exclaimed. "What on God's Earth are you doing here?!"</p><p>"What else would've I done if I heard you were going to come back home? Fly to see you, of course."</p><p>"You are unbelievable," Donghyuck winced, then remembered he had people to introduce to each other. "Jaemin, this is my former colleague, Ten. Ten, this is Jaemin, the boyfriend."</p><p>"Ah right, the boyfriend," Ten said in a shrill voice, overly enthusiastic. "Donghyuck talked about you a lot back then. I wanted to shut him up by piling designer coats on his table so I could focus, but he recites about you like he's reading poems."</p><p>"Ah, really?"</p><p>"Gosh, what are you saying?" Donghyuck pinched Ten on the shoulder, earning a meowl. "Don't believe him, Jaem, he's talking nonsense."</p><p>"Soooo, you're going home?"</p><p>"We are."</p><p>"Does that mean you're not going to travel anywhere outside Korea?"</p><p>"Yeah, Donghyuck won’t do that, nor will I," Jaemin answered, skeptical. "Why do you ask though?"</p><p>"Donghyuck's passport." Ten said. "You're just going to let it expire?"</p><p>"Oh, that. To be honest, I do feel sorry for my passport," Donghyuck scrunched his nose. "It was only used once, now I'll have to dump it. It'll expire at some point in the future."</p><p>"Eh, who am I to judge you?" Ten shrugged his shoulders. "Good decision. So, no intentions of traveling?"</p><p>Jaemin turned to Donghyuck. "Anymore?"</p><p>"Yeah, I guess," Donghyuck said. "In a span of these years, I never once wanted to go out of this country because doing that makes me homesick. Paris made me homesick. Then I realized there's no place like home anywhere in this world."</p><p>"Damn," Jaemin gawked. "E-Exactly. I never traveled anywhere, but damn do I wanna go back home too."</p><p>"Kids like you should be in a place where you can find comfort. And you know, Donghyuck," Ten smiled. "If you can't go to Shanghai, I'll just send you pictures."</p><p>"Thanks! That means a lot to me. Hey, call me if you get a boyfriend, okay?"</p><p>"Will do. You two have a safe ride home, alright? Send me your address too so I can deliver packages from Shanghai!"</p><p>"Cool! By the way, where will you be staying for the night?"</p><p>"Oh, I don't know. I'll probably crash at Doyoung's."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Their train ride was scheduled at 10 in the morning.</p><p>They woke up at 7, got an hour for themselves to take a shower, have breakfast, and pack a few more of their bundles till all the rooms in their apartments were empty. Jaemin was putting the plates away in a box as Donghyuck took down their polaroids on the wall, the ones he festooned with balloons five years ago on Jaemin's birthday.</p><p>"I can't believe we have to donate all of our furniture," Donghyuck slid the polaroids into the pocket of his bag. He tucked their bedsheets into one of his suitcases (the bed would be donated, their sheets wouldn’t be)."This sucks. I'm going to miss that couch, that bar chair, that coffee table, the toaster, rice cooker, coffee maker... Ugh, I'll miss everything!"</p><p>"You do know we can take some of them home, don't you?"</p><p>"Right. Let's take home the curtains and carpets. Oh, and Jeno's painting!"</p><p>“And the bar chair.” Jaemin brought up. “It’s extremely important.”</p><p>“How will we take it home?”</p><p>“We can dismantle it.”</p><p>“Oh right. It was a DIY product.”</p><p>Once the entire unit was left spotless, they split up like they always did, planning to meet up somewhere later on.</p><p>Donghyuck talked to their landlord and gave him their key, greeting him with a falsehearted goodbye. He took all of his and Jaemin's suitcases down the apartment to the cab they hailed, transferring them into the trunk before going in. He said nothing to the driver and took out his phone.</p><p>"Hey, are you done?"</p><p>"<em>Yeah, I've donated some of our textbooks and books. And when I donated your old clothes, some young lady said she wanted me to give her my number. I said I have a boyfriend, then she said she's happy for us.</em>"</p><p>"Okay, Jaem, that's a really kindhearted lady you just met, but have you talked to the Charity Shop?"</p><p>"<em>About the furniture? Yeah, yeah, I have, I gave them our address– uh huh, ex-address, and told them to see our landlord to get the key. You gave him the key, right?</em>"</p><p>"That's great, and yes, I did! That means they will no longer need us, right?"</p><p>"<em>Yes, they know we're going home. They'll take care of everything for us.</em>"</p><p>It was one of the many things that Donghyuck liked about them. There was never a time where they were not in sync notwithstanding distance for their last minute tactics were always clear, and even if lacking in details, both parties would take a good guess based on instincts.</p><p>"So where are you now?"</p><p>"<em>Still in front of the furniture shop.</em>"</p><p>"Okay. You're lucky I know the address."</p><p>Donghyuck reminded the driver to make a turn just in time. It was almost 9 am. Another hour and a few more minutes to spare. Donghyuck was a little anxious about it despite wearing his best get-up for the day. They couldn't miss the ride home. It had been the only thing lingering in his mind ever since he woke up.</p><p>The cab stopped at the side of the streets where Donghyuck directed it to. Jaemin was standing there, wearing a simple white shirt paired with a cheap leather jacket and pants. Jaemin opened the door and went in right away.</p><p>"Now, to the train express," Donghyuck directed to the driver. "Thank you."</p><p>"Woah," Jaemin respired. "That felt good. Being charitable really heals the soul."</p><p>"I never told you this before, but I donate 500,000 won to Charity Organizations every month. It's my way to de-stress."</p><p>"You're not special. I volunteer at a nursing home every Friday before and after I go to work."</p><p>"Oh, so that's why you always woke up way too early!" Donghyuck paused. "... I can't believe we're not going to do that anymore. "</p><p>"Yeah.” Jaemin looked him in the eyes. “It kinda makes me sad."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Look! They sell curry buns!"</p><p>Donghyuck left half of his suitcases to Jaemin and ran to the stall, swiftly taking out his wallet. He ordered two, then changed his mind last minute and said three. Jaemin had been sitting at the waiting area for ten minutes, loaded with their packed suitcases.</p><p>Donghyuck soon came running through the crowd with three curry buns in one hand, two suitcases in the other. He made it to Jaemin as fast as he could and panted as he handed two curry buns to the other. Jaemin didn't bother asking about it.</p><p>"What took you so long? The train will be here in five minutes."</p><p>"There's something about boarding the train that makes me crave curry buns," Donghyuck said, unwrapping his curry bun. "You should eat too. We have enough water."</p><p>"I'll eat on the train. Let's share the third bun later, yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah. Sure. I didn't know one bun is expensive, so I couldn't buy four. Just in case we need to buy food onboard."</p><p>The train arrived in no time, and flocks of passengers and their families and friends to send them off took up almost all the space. Carrying their suitcases with only four hands, they stepped in to fill in the coziest compartment they could see.</p><p>“Hey,” Donghyuck sagged on a random cushioned seat. “If I crash a car on purpose, is it still an accident?"</p><p>Jaemin knitted his eyebrows. "You're not thinking of crashing into a tree, are you?"</p><p>"No way. I don't even have a car."</p><p>"Did you drink coffee?"</p><p>"A lot," remarked Donghyuck. "I have a lot of reading to do before we arrive home."</p><p>"Funny. The tables have been flipped."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>Jaemin winked.</p><p>"I'm caffeine-free today."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck had been reading since they boarded the train. Jaemin lazed away the hour staring beyond the window, at the buildings and metro lanes with no traces of familiar trees, plowed fields, and clear skylines leading to the town they so profoundly missed. Up to now, they were nowhere near home.</p><p>"I miss Yangyang," Donghyuck pouted. "Now that we had proper goodbyes from Jeno and Ten, Yangyang's been on my mind for the whole day."</p><p>"Did you tell him that you're going home?"</p><p>"I did. But he probably hasn't seen it yet because of the time zone. I'm assuming he's still asleep. Wait no– it's been three days. He either ignores his messages or he has something more important to do."</p><p>"Stop thinking about him and leave the yearning you in Seoul. And don't you dare bring that man to the place where we grew up. And we have to stop speaking like city boys, let’s forget about slangs and speak our dialect again."</p><p>"Do you think Yangyang's been on too many dates with Guanheng?"</p><p>"I swear to God," Jaemin accented. "If you say his name one more time we're breaking up."</p><p>"Ugh! Stop being jealous all the time, you big baby."</p><p>"I'm not a baby, I'm an adult. And what is that you're reading?"</p><p>Donghyuck held up his book to show off the cover, proud.</p><p>"Fellowship of the ring. The famous classic."</p><p>"What? I've never read that book, but why would you read something about embarking on a journey if you're going towards the opposite way?"</p><p>"I asked myself about that too," Donghyuck huffed. "Yeah, it's ironic, but the story keeps me going. It has been sitting on our shelf for five years and neither of us had the time to read it."</p><p>"You bought it for yourself after graduation, I didn't have anything to do with it."</p><p>"Blah blah blah, don't bother, I'm reading the birthday party scene right now, which reminds me. What did you wish for on your birthdays?"</p><p>Jaemin wavered. He didn't look up to face Donghyuck and neither did the latter, still peering out of the window.</p><p>"Can you answer first?"</p><p>"To be back home." Donghyuck replied. "You?"</p><p>"Oh. I wanted to be back home too."</p><p>"What? For five years? But you told me you–"</p><p>"I pretended because I wanted you to think that I want to stay in Seoul like you!" Jaemin confessed. "And that's because I wanted you to go out there and explore the world like you always dreamt of when we were young."</p><p>"Oh my god. My love for you just plummeted above the clouds."</p><p>"Only the clouds?"</p><p>"Fine. Way above the Earth's atmospheric layers then," Donghyuck gave in. He dissolved into laughter. "Can I kiss you right now?"</p><p>"Anytime."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was about time the train ride came to an end. They gathered their suitcases, their weight rattling against the floor, and that was the only sound along with the other passengers' muffled conversations filling the air.</p><p>They stepped out. Out the train, the station, and finally, to the grass imbued by the sun's rays. Jaemin dropped all of his suitcases down to spread his arms open. He shut his eyes and let himself feel the warmth, and the view of the meadows, hills, and lake. They were back.</p><p>"I'm breathing home air."</p><p>Gathering daisies in a wildflower meadow. Decorating their room with flowers and patchworks. Baking bread from scratch. Singing about moss in the woods. Leaves in their hair, sticks scraping their skin, mud on their shoes. Trampled fields beneath their steps, dreaming about the taste of wild berries, living in a town where everybody knows them and they know everybody, and reminding themselves that they are part of the Earth. That they are loved.</p><p>And they were back.</p><p>"We're breathing home air," Jaemin shrieked. "Holy shit, we're breathing home air!"</p><p>Jaemin became jumpy and as a cause pulled Donghyuck into a hug, one that was of overwhelming pride.</p><p>They left their suitcases in front of their house, locked out and wouldn't be inside too soon since the old lady living next door told them Yuta went to the slaughterhouse and wouldn't be back until evening, and Jaemin was still fired up with the sense of being home. It wasn't entirely easy for Donghyuck to calm him down, for he was humming the whole time they were ambling around the town as he greeted and hugged their neighbors, both old and new.</p><p>Jaemin's enthusiasm increased when they were met with teenagers and children they had never met before, happy that the families of their neighbors have broadened and were expectant of the new generation. The kids were cute, he thought, like a set of tiny strawberries he couldn't get enough of.</p><p>"I'm so happy for those kids," said Donghyuck, sucking on a Red Ginseng he dug out of his pocket. "They have parents willing to give them all the love, so I'm sure they'll grow up to be good people."</p><p>"And have a bright future ahead of them. Who knows, maybe they'll move to Seoul too, just like us."</p><p>"And come back here? I wish."</p><p>"Hey," Jaemin faced Donghyuck and ruffled his hair. "I'm proud of us. So proud."</p><p>"Me too," Donghyuck bawled. "I thought we'll stay in Seoul for the rest of our lives, then this happened."</p><p>"The universe has proven itself to us. There's really no place like home!"</p><p>They walked towards another cottage near the foot of the meadow. Instead of heading to its porch, they were met with the back garden instead. They were only fifteen meters away when they perceived someone watering the flowers.</p><p>Said person was wearing a beige turtleneck, then an overall of lighter shade, just enough to keep him from the cold breeze in the middle of May. He wore the same fashion as the townspeople, so he could be anyone. The thing was he had the distinct-kind of face they had never seen, either never at all or not for the past years.</p><p>"Who's that?"</p><p>"Is that a new guy or... Wait, he looks kind of familiar."</p><p>"I think I've seen him before," Jaemin squinted. "... Jisung?"</p><p>"Jisung?" Donghyuck repeated. "Jisung as in that kid by the well?"</p><p>As they came closer, albeit hesitantly, the person later picked up their voices, noting their presence. And when he did, he waved at them with the biggest smile on his face, the corner of his eyes curving into crescents.</p><p>"Why is he waving? Why did he wave?"</p><p>"Holy heck," Donghyuck whispered. "The closer we come the more I'm convinced he's Jisung."</p><p>"Hey," Jaemin approached, beaming. Donghyuck stood beside him. "Springtime gardening?"</p><p>"Springtime gardening. They're my mom's flowers."</p><p>"They're beautiful."</p><p>The person stared at them for a good minute, which was starting to make Donghyuck feel uncomfortable. A little bit. Then he spoke.</p><p>"Can I help you with anything?"</p><p>"Uh, pardon our cynical actions, but are you by any chance, Park Jisung?"</p><p>"Park Jisung? Yeah, that's my name."</p><p>"I knew it!" Donghyuck clapped. "I knew I've seen you before!"</p><p>"Oh my god," Jaemin gawked. "How many years has it been?"</p><p>"I'm twenty-three years old now. So it has been eighteen years for me, I suppose."</p><p>"Look at you, all grown-up now and taller than us," Donghyuck sulked. "We came here every summer in high school. Why didn't we see you?"</p><p>"I prefer staying indoors, and I was too shy to go and talk to you. I watched both of you walk around from inside though."</p><p>"You're not trying to drown in a well anymore, are you?"</p><p>Jisung snorted. "Absolutely not! I was only a child back then, don't blame me for thinking recklessly."</p><p>"By the way, can we meet your mom? We're locked out of our own house and dad won't be back probably till midnight, and we might as well stay here for the time being."</p><p>"By all means. What would you like for a drink?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They spent the rest of the day with Jisung, engaging in the younger's hobbies to relieve themselves of their old ones. They picked out flowers from the garden, pressed them, had a brunch picnic near the lake, found a snail to befriend, and went for a bike ride to feel the breeze, whereas Jisung had his own bike while the other two had to share. Before dinner, as the sun was setting, Jisung's mother taught them how to chart the phases of the moon. They had a taste of her delicious meals and Jaemin was fortunate enough to lay his hands on her secret recipes with her consent. It was a pleasant first day back at home.</p><p>Even the more thrill when they discovered something new about Jaemin. They were at the barnyard.</p><p>“Oh my god,” Jaemin came to a halt. “Have I gone blind or aren’t we literally surrounded by pollens?”</p><p>“What are you on about?” Jisung raised a brow. “Of course we are.”</p><p>“Wait a minute,” Donghyuck held up his index finger in scrutiny. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”</p><p>“Are you? Because I don’t feel like sneezing and there are zero signs of blockage in my nose.”</p><p>“I think I’m catching up here,” Jisung joined in. “Do you have rhinitis?”</p><p>“He <em>had</em> rhinitis,” corrected Donghyuck. He pulled Jaemin into a resilient hug. “Shit, I’m so proud of you.”</p><p>“I’m still lactose intolerant because dad said my mom had it too meaning it’s genetic, but hell yeah I’m rhinitis-free!”</p><p>That night, they spent an hour stargazing outside with Jisung as they talked about city things, in which Jisung's interest was not piqued to at all.</p><p>"Mom told me it's a dangerous place. Anything can happen at any time."</p><p>"And she's right," Donghyuck confirmed. "It's a dreadful place to live in. You can make a bunch of memories, but never a living."</p><p>"I mean you can still earn a living, but boy, that should've gone to our yearbook quotes."</p><p>"Yeah, ew."</p><p>"Was school fun?" Jisung asked. "Looking at you two, I think you'd say 50-50."</p><p>"Yeah, 50-50. Unlike the kindergarten and elementary classes here, people there are of all sorts: mean, insensitive, and those stereotypes you've read in books or watched on television. We guarantee you the cafeteria scene never happens," Donghyuck said. "And it was extremely hard to get to college, so we backed away and started looking for jobs as soon as graduation ended."</p><p>"And just as it was hard to get into college, it was also hard to find jobs. Who would accept someone who never went to college? Luckily, a restaurant hiring new cooks did."</p><p>"And fashion companies would normally require job lookers to include completed education on their resumés, but they were short on one employee at the same time I showed them my designs so I lucked in."</p><p>"Woah," Jisung gaped. "I have so much respect for you."</p><p>And when morning came, what they didn't expect was to wake up on a sofa. A sofa that wasn't theirs.</p><p>"Jaem, get off me," Donghyuck patted him awake. "You're heavy as fuck, please."</p><p>Jaemin grunted, sitting up. He rubbed his eyes, barely awake to process anything. He and Donghyuck turned around at the same time upon hearing a refrigerator close.</p><p>"Good morning, city boys."</p><p>Jisung was there at the kitchen, leaning onto the dining table. He was guzzling orange juice down and shooting them finger guns, trying not to convulse into laughter to avoid choking. Donghyuck wished he wasn't.</p><p>Jisung settled his emptied glass down, drawing in his breath with the smuggest smirk they had ever seen.</p><p>"I always knew Jaemin hyung was the big spoon."</p><p>Donghyuck blushed. He blanked out and refused to look Jisung in the eyes. Instead, Jaemin was the one to shrug it off.</p><p>"What time is it?"</p><p>"11. One hour till lunch."</p><p>"Wait, we overslept? And you didn't wake us up?"</p><p>"Why should I wake you up?" Jisung questioned. "You were sleeping so comfortably on the sofa my mom bought from the antique shop."</p><p>"You– You knew we had to go home early to meet our dad because he's going to wonder why there are suitcases dumped in front of his porch!"</p><p>Jisung shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>"I forgot about that."</p><p>A lie. Obviously. Jaemin could see right through his bluntness.</p><p>Donghyuck hopped out of the sofa and accidentally hit Jaemin on the head with the blankets.</p><p>"Come here, you little–!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Fortunately for them, Jisung's mother went to work at the library for her morning shift, so no one had to watch Donghyuck and Jaemin embarrass themselves but Jisung.</p><p>"Frankly speaking, I think Mrs. Park would've been a better audience. She wouldn't give a shit, unlike her devil son who'll tease us about this until the day we are buried."</p><p>"Do you think Jisung got his devil personality from his mystery dad?" Jaemin nodded to his own question. "Yeah, me too."</p><p>They wended further from Jisung's house to plod down the meadow and walk all the way to theirs. It was going to take them a few more minutes to get there by walking, hoping nobody saw them with awful hair and the same clothes they wore yesterday because, for some reason, Jisung refused to lend them a comb, a mirror, and new clothes (Donghyuck tried to steal them by bolting to his room. He ended up slamming his face to an invisible tape bound to the walls and almost broke his neck.).</p><p>"Why did we wake up so late? I don't understand why we woke up so late. Do you remember what time we went to sleep?"</p><p>"No," Jaemin said. "But I do remember going to bed as soon as we finished stargazing."</p><p>"Hm. Maybe it was because we barely slept before the train ride. We slept at like, 2 or even 4, didn't we?"</p><p>"All those popsicles, that arcade date, and meeting Ten… Geez, I don't even remember what happened after that."</p><p>"I remember." Donghyuck snorted when Jaemin indicated his anticipation. "We had a beer at this one pub and Ten had to bring us home. I think he rode the cab with us to make sure we get to our apartment."</p><p>"Huh. Sweet guy."</p><p>"We're here." Donghyuck halted in his tracks. They stood in front of their very own door. "Once we go inside, we're bound to encounter a stressed-out dad who's going to ask us millions of questions."</p><p>"Where are our suitcases?" Jaemin panicked. "Oh my god, our suitcases!"</p><p>"Shh! There's no way we'll get robbed, this town has zero crimes! Dad could've gotten them inside as soon as he came home."</p><p>"I-If you say so. But if he didn't, and he asks where our suitcases are, you're going to explain that."</p><p>"Deal, but you open the door."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>So Jaemin opened the door. He stepped in first, Donghyuck closely trailing behind, and the first thing they saw was the pile of suitcases dumped in front of their shared room.</p><p>"Holy shit."</p><p>And there was Yuta, sitting with his hands clasped and elbows placed on top of the dining table. His eyes were closed. He looked stressed, his eyebags drooped, and a little bit older. It had been five years, after all.</p><p>Jaemin gulped. "Hi dad."</p><p>"So I found your suitcases lying outside when I came home," he glowered. "Be thankful that no one robbed you, and that before I could go through congestive heart failure, the grandma living next door told me you went to sleep over at the Park's even though it was almost midnight."</p><p>"Whew, thank god," Donghyuck softly hooted. "Haha, that grandma really watches everything through her window, doesn't she? For how many years has she been doing that?"</p><p>"No idea," Jaemin said. "But I admire her for that 'cause that's a really nice hobby unless you're very easy to bore."</p><p>"I agree. Anyways, dad, can we make lunch now?"</p><p>"I already made lunch. Come help me set the table."</p><p>"Uh, anything else to say?" Donghyuck urged. "Dad?"</p><p>Yuta paused. Then he broke into a gummy smile.</p><p>"Welcome home."</p><p>Donghyuck pulled Jaemin so they could jump on Yuta and attack him with a hug. Yuta was taken aback at first, later hugging them back as he embraced them into his heartfelt affection. They were a family, moreover, one that will continue to be for decades.</p><p>"We missed you, dad."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck dropped his jaw.</p><p>"You adopted a dog?"</p><p>"I did. She's five years old."</p><p>"You mean you adopted it around the same time we had our graduation?"</p><p>Yuta nodded, sipping on his lemonade. They had finished eating lunch, used dishes piled on the sink as all that occupied the table were boxes. Jaemin was still cradling the dog while her tail kept wagging at his face.</p><p>"What's her name?"</p><p>"Rapunzel. I adopted her because I felt lonely throughout those years without seeing your annoying faces."</p><p>"Aww," Donghyuck cooed. "That's actually so sweet. She's going to live a long life, isn't she?"</p><p>"And again, I'm sorry I didn't go to your graduation," Yuta added. "I was appointed to some botanical garden shifts. The plants would be dead right now if I hadn't been there."</p><p>"Cut the crap out, dad. We forgave you already. Remember that phone call? You said you couldn't make it, and Donghyuck and I were fine with it. And to tell you the truth, those plants were far more important."</p><p>"I agree. We went there with Jisung yesterday, and those plants grew up well. It's the ones at the end of the third column, right?" Donghyuck asked, to which Yuta nodded to. "Right. They grew up well."</p><p>"I still can't believe you're both grown-ups," Yuta whimpered. "I mean, sometimes I wished you would stay children forever, knowing little about the world and its dark side, then I realized you learned a lot over the course of time. I expected you to live your best lives in the city with bright futures ahead, but I guess that wasn’t fated to happen."</p><p>"Let's not get too sentimental now. Check out the stuff we brought you."</p><p>"Okay, fine. So what's in these boxes? How did you bring them home? There's like, four of them, all heavy."</p><p>"We borrowed a cart," Jaemin answered. "Jisung will return the cart later. We forgot to do it yesterday because we were schmaltzy drunk breathing home air, I guess."</p><p>"Here's the first box," Donghyuck slashed through the tape. "We got you ramyeon, red ginseng, dried seaweed, honey pancakes, and more. Like what you see?"</p><p>Yuta gasped in horror.</p><p>"Bottles of soju?"</p><p>"Err, yes?" Jaemin uttered. "It's not like they're illegal. Fun fact: if you drink shots at night and it tastes sweet, then you had a good day. If it tastes bitter, you've gone through a rough road. We learned that from the guy who lives across us."</p><p>"We may be townspeople, but we don't believe in myths," Yuta repudiated. "How did you bring these home?"</p><p>"By packages, of course? It's legal to bring them, just not to drink it on board."</p><p>"Oh wow."</p><p>Jaemin blinked. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't weirded out by his father's intimate gaze on the alcohol bottle. "Uh, dad?"</p><p>"Your mom and I used to get drunk a lot in the city when we had these in pubs."</p><p>"No, shit," Jaemin gawked. "Please tell me I wasn't an accident."</p><p>"No, of course not! You weren't formed from premarital sex either. We believed in commitment. Oh, she was Christian, by the way. I forgot to tell you that."</p><p>Donghyuck pulled the box away from Yuta's grip before settling it down at the foot of the table.</p><p>"Okay, we'll check more of what we brought home for you and the neighbors. Jaemin, you're gonna help me distribute the other packs of bottles to the elders," he brought up another box in front of Yuta, the word 'beauty products' plastered on its side with a black marker. "We also got you face masks, body creams, and more skincare products. You're getting old and so are Jaemin and I, so we brought these home to prevent acne breakout. Jisung has it right now."</p><p>Jaemin scoffed. "Jisung doesn't have acne, those are freckles. And they look cute on him."</p><p>Yuta placed his hands on his hips, eyeing the products taking up nearly all the volume in the box.</p><p>"I thought you knew I have a closet full of beauty products, but thanks."</p><p>"Our pleasure. And about that closet, well, we were hoping you can add them to your collection! Plus, you still use old brands. They may have prevented you from having wrinkles, but it's time we introduce you to new ones."</p><p>"Duckie?" Yuta raised an eyebrow. "How do you know so much about these?"</p><p>"Oh, dad, please. He worked at a fashion company. Everyone working there knows which and what makeups will suit fashion garments even if they're not makeup artists."</p><p>"What he said." Donghyuck leaned into Jaemin’s ear and whispered, “who said I’m not into cosmetic studies to your former coworker because he was jealous?”</p><p>“For the thousandth time, ‘Hyuck, I was not jealous. And Jungwoo hyung would hoard all products of brands you use and I simply didn’t want that to happen.”</p><p>“That’s such a lame excuse.”</p><p>They returned their attention to the grown man who hadn’t let go of the soju bottles yet.</p><p>"So?" Jaemin twitched his lips. "Can I go was the dishes now while Donghyuck unpacks our suitcases?"</p><p>"What am I going to do?"</p><p>"Take a nap, dad. You've worked hard."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They barely kept track of the days. Maybe three days have passed, maybe twice three. But the dates didn't matter anymore as long as they were next to each other at all times.</p><p>A few days back, Donghyuck brought up something during lunch for Yuta to hear. Jaemin backed him up as they had planned and decided on it.</p><p>"Dad, I never said this to you before, but I'm gay. Not straight or bi, but gay. Been for a long time. I think I filled the blank during freshman year."</p><p>"It's true," Jaemin said. "I was there. Absolutely no girls can penetrate his firewalls."</p><p>"Good! I'm glad you told me this at a time you were most comfortable," Yuta broadly smiled at him. "You're a good kid. Both you and Nana are. I'm so glad to have been given the chance to raise you."</p><p>"And I'm glad to be your kid! No one could've taken care of me better than you did, and my mom in heaven must be so proud of you."</p><p>Jaemin chewed. Loudly. "Actually, dad, there's something else we need to tell you."</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>"Oh, yeah," Donghyuck chuckled. "Jaemin and I are–"</p><p>"We're getting married."</p><p>Yuta choked on his water, his face turning blue. Jaemin said that without warning, hence Yuta not looking pleased.</p><p>"Boys, I'm gonna have you repeat that again. I might've heard the wrong thing."</p><p>"Er, well– yeah, we'll marry each other. You heard us right."</p><p>"It'll not be a serious ceremony. We’re contemplating between two venues. The first one is above the meadow because the view there accentuates the beauty of our town, while the second one is by the lake because we got married there when we were ten. Only a few guests, like you, Jisung, Mrs. Park, and the grandma. And there's an acoustic guitar playing while we walk down the aisle, and we'll use Cheetos as our wedding rings. No papers, no legal commitment because we can't afford to get those, just something we can consider as commitment ourselves because that's what we love. Us. Donghyuck and I, just living our romantic life in the place we grew up in."</p><p>Donghyuck bobbed his head. "We wanted to ask for your permission because we wanted to know if we're making you uncomfortable in any way. We know you always think of us as siblings growing up together, so please tell us if it’s a yes or no, and guaranteed it's okay for us if you say the second one."</p><p>"Wow." Yuta blinked. "I-I don't know what to say, but– Wow."</p><p>"Dad, you can take your time."</p><p>"No. I'll make my decision today."</p><p>"Oh no," Donghyuck drew in his breath. "You won't allow it, will you?"</p><p>Yuta shook his head.</p><p>"You can proceed. And don't worry about me, I'm just trying not to cry at how far you've come and now you're grown-ups. Hell, it feels like it was only yesterday when I took in 'Hyuckie so he wouldn't get ravaged by chickens, and when Nana came out to me after freshman year. I'll be a terrible father if I were to say no."</p><p>Donghyuck gasped. On the other hand, Jaemin had hopped off his seat to give Yuta a peck on the cheek.</p><p>"The volume of our love for you is astronomical."</p><p>"Thank you," Donghyuck teared up, restraining his tears. “Thank you so much!”</p><p>Yuta simpered.</p><p>"So, this wedding. When is it?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck, for once, was the first to wake up that morning. For some reason, he arose to consciousness while the skies were still drowned in hues of indigo and lavender, the sound of Jaemin’s snores filling the air.</p><p>It had been a while since they slept on their shared bed, the same one they slept on when they were only children, or teens, wrapped in two layers of blankets. Maybe it was the nostalgic comfort that kept Jaemin sleeping like a log. Maybe. And as for Donghyuck? Must've been the cold breeze entering the room through the window.</p><p>He got out of bed and slipped on his bunny slippers, grabbing a coat from the cloth stand to wear outside. He tiptoed past Yuta's room, the tiny living room, then the porch, trying to make zero decibels of noise as possible as he could. Not to mention on the way there, he almost stepped on Rapunzel's tail, shushing the dog back to sleep before it could bark and wake the whole neighborhood up.</p><p>He dawdled out of the house. He shut the door behind him and tread off their porch, letting the grass tickle his exposed ankles. Laid before him was nature, the unpolluted environment, and the cloudless sky emphasizing the horizon.</p><p>Donghyuck missed it. The feeling when everything was still quiet and the air still smelled like night time. When it was fresh, causing him to shiver a bit, as the first rays of sun slowly peaked over the edge of the Earth and everything in his view was bathed in a foggy, golden light, and he just stood there watching the world awaken.</p><p>Donghyuck missed it and so did Jaemin.</p><p>A few days back, Jaemin took him out for a morning stroll at 6 to watch the sunrise from the top of the hill, bringing their blankets along. It was beautiful. The solitude washing over him, or the feeling of being detached from any recurring problems– it was indescribable.</p><p>This time, Donghyuck may have gone alone, to feel it for himself and for the better, and so as to not disturb the other. He was happy. He was satisfied. Satisfied for this was it, this was where they truly belonged.</p><p>Donghyuck stayed at the foot of the hill for half an hour. He watched the sunrise as the shadows of the trees inclined. Darkness started to perish by each minute, and soon the butterflies would flutter by and the birds would come chirping outside their neighbors' windows.</p><p>By the time the sun was at its peak that dawn, Donghyuck went back inside, relieved to see Yuta still asleep through the door left opened by two inches. He made a beeline to their room and wasn't surprised to see Jaemin buried under the blankets, only his hair peeking out for Donghyuck to spot.</p><p>He laid down next to Jaemin. He comfortably positioned his body into left lateral recumbent to gaze at Jaemin's god-sculpted eyelashes. Donghyuck brushed off the fringes on his forehead, tucking them behind his ear. Jaemin didn't budge.</p><p>"I love you," Donghyuck muttered. "To the moon and beyond."</p><p>Jaemin crooned. His eyes were still shut.</p><p>"Will you still love me when I'm no longer young or beautiful?"</p><p>Jaemin crooned for the second time. He grunted as he turned his body, his back to Donghyuck.</p><p>"You'll always be young and beautiful in my heart."</p><p>That was Jaemin talking in his sleep, to someone in his dream perhaps, yet Donghyuck felt the strange feeling stretching throughout his body and make him feel whole, his chest blossoming a much deeper affection.</p><p>"Fuck, I love you more than anything else in this world. Can you get up now?"</p><p>"I won't if there's no breakfast yet."</p><p>Donghyuck wasted no time to hop off their bed and hurry to the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jaemin lethargically walked into the kitchen, unable to resist himself for rubbing his eyes as he sank down on his chair. In front of him were Yuta and his hot coffee brewed by Donghyuck, the dark, bitter smell scattered in the air.</p><p>Jaemin glanced at Donghyuck at the kitchen. He was preoccupied with the cucumber soup and seasoned kelp to the extent he may or may not have disengaged himself from reality. Donghyuck’s cooking instincts rarely kick in, for him to cook only happens scarcely ever.</p><p>"Sit here," Yuta gestured to the vacant seat next to him as he spoke in a low voice. Jaemin did as told. "Good boy."</p><p>"Do you need anything?"</p><p>"Yeah. I remember when you and Donghyuck came here after your first year in the city."</p><p>"Dad," Jaemin whined. "Get to the point."</p><p>"You told me Donghyuck was dating this Chinese boy."</p><p>"Taiwanese," Jaemin rectified. "He's Taiwanese."</p><p>"What happened to them? Did they break up? Good god, was Donghyuck okay? Did he move on?"</p><p>"Uhhh, this might come as a shock to you, but they didn't date."</p><p>Yuta kept his voice lower. "What?"</p><p>"They didn't date," Jaemin repeated. "In fact, they never dated. It was a one-sided love. The night I told you about it, I was making up bizarre assumptions that weren't even confirmed by Donghyuck himself. I made assumptions about Donghyuck."</p><p>"Aww, look at you, admitting your mistake. I raised you well, but did you really think you know your childhood best friend that well you'd think it gives you the right to assume things about him without knowing the whole story?"</p><p>"It was dumb, I know. I was a stupid highschooler."</p><p>"I know. Everyone makes mistakes. Though on the brighter side, it shows how much you care for him."</p><p>"I care for him partially because he has never dated anyone before."</p><p>"C'mon," Yuta poked him on the cheek. "You're just saying that because you're proud you're his first. Look at you, you're smiling."</p><p>"Am not."</p><p>Donghyuck turned away from the kitchen, a bowl of soup on hand. He placed it on Jaemin’s placemat.</p><p>"More salt?"</p><p>"You know me well."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"How do you think we'll die?"</p><p>"Old age. Or cancer. Or maybe even landslide because we're at the foot of the mountains."</p><p>As usual, Jisung's mother spent her day at the library. Donghyuck and Jaemin somehow ended up at Jisung's tiny house while he was doing embroidery in his room, most likely because the view of the meadow from their quaint window gave them more comfort than the view of the hill from their own window back home. Yuta was at the barn to fetch milk which was the family's last chore for the day, so the two of them had their checklist ticked and cleared.</p><p>They sat on the couch with their arms slumped over its outside back, gazing at the gray clouds past the window. The grasses were dancing to the wind blowing in gusts.</p><p>"Jaemin?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Remember when you asked me if I danced under the rain in Paris?"</p><p>"What about that?"</p><p>"Well, I actually didn't do it."</p><p>"Why?" Jaemin bit the inside of his cheek. "Was it because it didn't rain?"</p><p>Donghyuck shook his head. "It did rain. But instead of going out there, I just stayed inside my hotel room and watched the rain pour down through the window."</p><p>"Why would you do that?"</p><p>"Because you weren't there. I've never danced in the rain before, and if it was going to be my first experience, then you have to be there. I want you to be there. With me."</p><p>Pitter patter. The rain started to drizzle. It was a light shower for now. The drops pouring down began to intensify, and yet all they could see is them staring into each other's eyes.</p><p>"It's raining," Jisung walked in to close the windows, a thread of multi-colored strings wrapped around his fingers resulted in embroidering. "You two are gonna have to stay in my house for a while."</p><p>"I don't think so," Donghyuck answered, grinning. He pulled Jaemin up. "C'mon, Jaemin, let's get sick!"</p><p>"Wha– Hey! You don't want to end up like my mom nineteen years ago!"</p><p>"Well, now we want to!"</p><p>"Sorry, 'Sungie," Jaemin flirtatiously winked at him. "Take care of us if we get sick."</p><p>"Why me?"</p><p>"Dad can never know. We'll get married in a few days."</p><p>The precipitation didn’t stop.</p><p>Hereafter, for seven years and still counting, they never left.</p><p>They stayed home and went back to farmworks, tending to the barn animals and riding horses around their small town, living off wheat, cooked meat, food crops, and rice. Beyond everything, this was where they came from. This was where they were meant to be.</p><p>For seven years and still counting, they stayed never left.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>happy birthday to Jaemin!! this fic took me nine months but oh well here it is now :D</p><p>no prom dance bcs i dont think they have it in korea</p><p>also i know 18 is a ridiculous age for a freshman in highschool but let's do pretend the education system was fucked</p><p>and donghyuck's call to ten... i wrote that after finishing hospital playlist gdi there's something about the ending that triggered me into writing like that</p></blockquote></div></div>
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